When you can't live without bananas

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't." - Jules Renard

Random Playlist Song: Hildegard von Bingen - Canticles of Ecstasy - O Vis Aeternitatis

***

My sister gave me a packet of Jack and Jill potato chips and told me to hide it.

Now, on previous occasions she'd given me some packets, but had always ended up finishing them before I'd even started. So this time she told me to hide the packet so she wouldn't be tempted to eat it.

So I hid it in a place that she would never normally visit.

Earlier today, I noticed that it was gone. When I confronted her, she said that "obviously you didn't hide it well enough".

(...)

***

Someone on why Jennifer Garner is mistaken for Amy Jo Johnson: "high cheekbones, hair colour + style (fringe esp), the sexy but big mouth"

Err. Right. How come I never notice this sort of things?


"There is no such thing as destiny. Providence is only the capital of Rhode Island"

I am inordinately amused by this quote from the latest General Protection Fault.

***

New Apple Signature iPods - "Thanks to the success of our Special Edition U2 iPod, a slew of other artists are now clamoring to have signature MP3 devices of their own. Pre-order your favorite today."

And now for something completely dreary - "If you stumbled out of bed in the dark this morning, fell over the cat, found no milk in the fridge for your porridge, had a row with your partner, received a rude letter from the bank, got covered in snow at the bus stop and finally arrived at work in time to be made redundant, you will already know that today is the most depressing day of the year. And if you want scientific proof, then Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University has it. He settled on January 24 after using an elaborate formula expressing the delicate interplay of lousy weather, post-Christmas debt, time elapsed since yuletide indulgence, failed new year resolutions, motivation levels, and the desperate need to have something to look forward to."
I was feeling better on Jan 24th than I am now. Uhh...

What is Game Cock Boxing? - "In many countries, and in some states within the United States, cockfighting is an accepted form of entertainment. The Latin and Asian cultures in particular enjoy and promote this form of entertainment. In many countries and in many states of the United States, this form of entertainment is illegal, primarily because of the injury or death incurred by the gamecocks. In the traditional cockfight, the gamecocks have knives attached to their trimmed natural spurs, making their matches according to critics, a lethal and brutal form of entertainment. Historically, this ancient sport moved from the urban areas to be found only in the rural areas of the United States and eventually underground in those states where it is illegal. This cultural clash of values can be resolved by the practical, non-lethal contest referred to as Gamecock Boxing"

Hookers Take Dim View of Bright Lights - "Antwerp will dim the bright new lights along the Belgian port city's waterfront after prostitutes complained they were putting off potential clients."

Don't think you're good enough in this life? Buy your way into Heaven! - "Police are sure anyone who spends $20 to buy "guaranteed admission into heaven" from an Edmonton man's website is falling for a scam. "But it would be pretty tough to prove he's wrong," economic crimes detective Mark Johnson quipped yesterday."

Nev. Man Castrates Himself to Lower Libido - "A 50-year-old Reno man who was hospitalized after he castrated himself told police he learned of the procedure on the Internet and did so to lower his libido"

Man peed way out of avalanche - "A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it."

What Democracy means to me - "Democracy is people of all races, colors, and creeds united by a single dream: to get rich and move to the suburbs away from people of all races, colors, and creeds... Democracy means freedom of sexual choice between any two consenting adults; Utopia means freedom of choice between three or more consenting adults. But I digress. Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto -- usually a mop or a leaf blower."

***

Found in the NUS library: The media enthralled : Singapore revisited by Francis T. Seow (PN5449.12 Seo). I didn't know we were so subversive :)

In other news, I have dug up what no one seems to know: the NUS libraries' policy on fines and loan entitlements.

Academic staff get fined $1/book/day past 3 days after the due date, while students are charged only $0.50. On the up side, the former are fined only $1/day for overude RBR materials, while students are fined $1/hour.

As for loan entitlements, poor undergrads get to check out only 10 books at a time. Honours and graduate students have it slightly better: 15 at a time. On the other hand, academic staff may borrow a whopping 40 books at once and renew them up to 5 times. Meanwhile, RBR books may only be borrowed by students and academic staff, so too bad for my brother in law.


SMU calls itself the "First University of the New Millennium". Excuse me while I go to the back and engage in unspecified activities.

Having completed my tutorial 2 nights before the day, I feel very shiok. Yes, I am acutely aware of how sad I am.


Quotes:

[On 'the ridge - A NUSSU publication'] This is such a crap newspaper. I only need to read a few pages and I know it's a crap newspaper.
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