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Once upon a time in Magnamund

Once upon a time, in the northern reaches of a far off world called Magnamund, there was a quiet monastery hidden in the woods. This monastery was the home of the Kai Warriors, who trained to protect their homeland from their ancient enemy, the Darklords. One fine morning, the monastery was suddenly attacked and destroyed by agents of the Darklords. There was one survivor, a monk who named himself "Lone Wolf". He decided to undertake the arduous journey to the capital, Holmgard, to warn the king.

After facing many dangers, Lone Wolf finally completed his journey. In a private audience with King Ulnar, he related the dreadful events that had transpired. King Ulnar informed Lone Wolf that he must undertake another dangerous quest: to journey to Durenor and recover the Sommerswerd, the only weapon that could ultimately defeat the Darklords.

However, despite the secrecy of the mission, word somehow leaked out. When it did, there was an ourcry from certain segments of the population. Pointy-headed academicians were quick to criticize the king for his "pre-emptive" action. A true resolution, they stated, could only be found by diplomatic means. The king was ridiculed, lambasted, and even burned in effigy. University professors worked up their well-meaning but easily brainwashed students into a frenzy. Thousands descended upon the capitol, chanting in protest. "Warmonger!" they cried. "Imperialist!" "Species-ist!" The movement quickly grew. It was especially popular among professors, students, writers, artists, actors, vegetarians, and the society for the medicinal use of Gallowbrush. These people were much more intelligent than the simple-minded peasants, merchants, shop owners, and citizens who still believed in antiquated notions such as good and evil. The king was ultimately deposed and replaced by the parliamentary "Order of Laumspur" party. "No to war, yes to healing" was their slogan. It was pretty catchy, judging by the number or people sporting pins on their tunics and all of the bumper stickers pasted on the back of carriages.

The elected leader of the new goverment was an eminent professor named Saul Stonecutter. His first act was to recall Lone Wolf from his mission and put him on trial as a "war criminal". The jury was deadlocked for weeks, but ultimately voted for a conviction, thanks in part to the compelling testimony of an individual named Vonatar. "I can't say that I condone the Darklord's attack on the Kai monastery," he stated, "Such acts are always regrettable. However, what the Kai Lords refused to understand was that it was years of their own repressive policies that ultimately led to the Darklords acting the way they did. I tried to talk some sense into them, but they banished me." Lone Wolf was sentenced to spend the rest of his days on the Daziarn Plane.

Ultimately, a "Magnamund Council" was created. This was comprised of many representatives from all over the world: Human, Darklordian, Helghastian, Giakian, Vordakian, Vassagonian, and many others. The problem was that not much was ever accomplished. Every time a new enemy ravaged and plundered a country, and military action seemed to be required, the idea was shot down by the Darklords, who used their veto power quite liberally.

THE END

Of course, we all know the real story of Lone Wolf. Such a ridiculous scenario could never really come to pass.

or COULD it????

Gaetano

From the gamebooks Yahoo Group.

Amusing, though the comparison is false.