"Malaysia Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad and the Sultan of Johor are seen in a blue Proton Saga... "When asked whether there is any tension with the sultan, Dr Mahathir said: “No, I don’t see anything because I went to see him and he drove me to the airport. I don’t want to comment on the sultans because if I say anything that is not good then it’s not nice because he is the sultan”"

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Sunday, April 13, 2003

We were cleaning the toilet one morning when Jason got into one of his moods, and started pulling my singlet and singing a Chinese love song. I then threatened to serenade him with madrigals :) I also saw Melvin cleaning the shower cubicles with the toilet bowl scrub - eeeeew. "What they don't know won't hurt them." Grr. While cleaning, I was also pondering why most people dislike toilet cleaning. Granted: It's wet and dirty, but it's much easier and faster than bunk cleaning. Of course, nothing beats the smoking point.

There was one night where they tried to pin down and stip Yong Siang 4 times, but didn't succeed even on the fourth try, with my semi-complicity. I'll put it down to bad teamwork.

On Tuesday, we had an outing to watch 'The Core' at Jurong Point. We managed to catch the shuttle bus, and Yaodong was on it! Only when we got to Jurong Point, he was still sleeping, and no one bothered to wake him up. We, being the last ones to get off the bus, crept off carefully so as not to disturb his slumber, and in the end the bus driver had to shout him awake. Oh well. A few days later, someone was telling me how he came in one night on a stretcher, but miraculously got up in the ambulance to talk to the medic and remove his mask, only to fall into a coma again once the ambulance reached Tengah Medical Centre, waking up again when the ambulance left for NUH and then falling into a coma again when they reached NUH. Why does he do all this, I wonder? Doesn't he realise it only makes people hate him?

We had to clean the very dirty fans in our bunk, and one was directly above Yong Siang's bed. Even after I had put sheets of old newspaper on his bed, though, some of the dirt fell onto it, leaving black marks on the bedsheet and the others were saying that Yong Siang would kill me when he came back. After some consideration, I had a brainwave, and took one of many packets of SAF powder in one wooden shoe cupboard and sprinkled and rubbed powder onto the black spots, reasoning that this would make the black marks invisible. However, there were now obvious patches of cream on the white bedsheet, like it'd gotten vitiligo, so I proceeded to dump the whole packet of powder onto the bed so the splotches weren't obvious. Yong Siang loves powder anyway, so this wouldn't have been a problem for him. Later that night, Boon Huat came back and seeing Yong Siang's bed unoccupied, he took it with glee, it being the best bed due to its location directly under the fan. Since by then the lights were off and we were all sleeping, he didn't see the condition of the bed, so when he sat on it, *poof* went the powder. The next morning, when I awoke, there was a thick layer of powder on my wooden cabinet - Boon Huat had hit most of the powder from the bed, and much had gone onto my wooden cabinet.

The Printol company, Coventry Chemicals, hasn't produced any Printol for a while, apparently because they ran out of some ingredients, so we now have 'Sudol'. It is made by them too and comes in the same container, but it sucks. It has more than twice the concentration, is "toxic" rather than corrosive, and smells like sewage in concentrated form (at least Printol smells sorta nice and clean). The smell was so bad that after mopping the floor with it, I felt like fainting. :(

I did someone a favour by exchanging duties with him, taking Friday even though this week had a long weekend, since he said he had something to do. That was okay, but somehow, my company got an early release on Friday and fell out at 12pm, while the Medics left at 3 plus. Argh argh argh. Just my luck.

One poor guy reported sick for footrot but we had trouble getting his temperature, so I had to take his rectal temperature :( Luckily, it wasn't as traumatising (both for me and him) as I'd thought it would be.

Melvin dug up the old bottle of air freshener, so we tried to do the party trick of using it as a flamethrower. When we tried, however, the gas wouldn't light. "Non-flammable". Gah.

People love to play with the Treatment Room Screen Saver (but oddly, none other), mostly by inserting "Jiabao" into the Marquee text, so I went to move and rename the marquee file. Muahaha. I am 1337.

I was trying to recall the Seven Wonders of the World according to Herodotus, with Choo and Andrew, and dammit I could only remember six. The Pyramids were a no-brainer (though apparently it's only Khufu's which is the wonder), the Hanging Gardens of Babylon came easily, as did the Temple of Zeus at Olympia, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus (though I remembered it as the Mausoleum *of* Halicarnassus), the Colossus of Rhodes and the Lighthouse of Pharos in Alexandria. However hard I tried, though, I couldn't remember The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. Damn. I'm really losing my touch.

I finally went to ask one Corporal playing CS in the old E-learning centre how one could get to do that. Apparently one must be from the School of Armour to draw the key :( I thought the place belonged to the whole camp!

Even though we're out of BMT, we still have to obey commands as if we're dogs - "Up!", "Sit!" and the like. Nay, even dogs are better treated - they don't have to knock it down, and they get doggie biscuits when they obey. For us, we just have to move the moment we hear the barked commands - which is practically everyday. In fact, even in BMT it wasn't that bad - at most they'd do a sit-stand combo when we were slow. Sad indeed it is in the Army, when sadism masquerades as enforcing discipline, and regimentation is implemented for regimentation's sake.

I think, apart from off days and long weekends, a new type of off should be introduced - stay out. This will fill the last hole in the compensation of servicemen, and can be a minor reward. Current SOP personnel - too bad,

AETC is getting 6 days off per week of duty at Jurong Island. And Lenny had the nerve to complain!

More unhealthy ads: Slimming Sanctuary - "How do I measure my success? Inch by inch!" This is bad. Females will then take the size of their waistlines as a proxy for other measures of self-worth.

Chua Lee Hoong was bashed in the forum for her column, "Me? I'd rather save the money on". Aww. Personally, I find her columns less irritating - both in style and content - and one-sided nowadays, but they're still irksome most of the time.

Osim is advertising for a 'super dry steam cleaner'. Wth. How can steam be dry? Especially when it condenses.

Some Arabs were unhappy that the Iraqis didn't resist the 'coalition' (of but 2 major nations and 2 token ones). One even said that "I spit on them". Right. *They * weren't the ones who had to live under Saddam. And for all the hooha about the un-balanced coverage of American TV, Arab channels didn't show the scenes of jubilation in the country when Baghdad fell. Meanwhile, no one cares about the Congolese and they are relegated to a footnote in the news (if indeed, they are mentioned at all with SARS and Iraq and all)

A camp mate has seen the joys of Phoenix. Muaha (though I still prefer Mozilla). And some camp mates I showed the Happy Tree Friends too said it was "e3 xin1". Hehe.

In the lift with a woman and her two children:

Woman: Let gor gor go out first
Girl: Uncle lah, what gor gor

Gah! I'm not that old, am I?


I will integrate him later (interrogate)

I can't stand it when you call him 'Thunder Thighs'. It's so funny

[On my stomach] It's the 'no support' pillow. My head keeps sinking in

I'm very willing to receive arrows. You ask me, I won't reject you one (If you, you)

[On me] Ta1 xiao3 shi2 hou4 bu4 hui4 fei2 [Translation: When he was young, he wasn't fat] [Me: How do you know?] I went to your website [Me: Aiyah]

go for canteen break at the irreverent timings (breaks, irregular)

[Me: What do you think of our cookhouse?] Fucked up! [Me: Do you eat breakfast [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat lunch [there]?] No. [Me: Do you eat dinner [there]?] Sometimes.

I want a PDA. Help me indent [one].

[On Carex Condoms] Zhe4 ge4 ni3 outfield yong4 de4 [Translation: You use these outfield] (!!!)

[Leans close to me] Let me give you a kiss, man. *muak* *muak* *muak* [Sees no reaction from me] You're a homosexual, man. You're a homosexual. [Me: Your breath stinks]

Suppose you tell your PC: I play 'Neopets'. Your PC is Lin Yucheng. 'Very good, very good. Have you heard of this program? Hunter-seeker?... Recommend you for OCS.'
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