"The happiest place on earth"

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Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Bookout post (up to 27/2):

When last I left, I went to the East Coast for dinner. While there, I saw a girl in pink floral berms, which went past her knee. I believe this is the first time I've seen floral printed bottoms which are so long!

Restored Post

There was a screwup on the first Monday. They ran out of food [the disgusting Chicken Pau and Lor Mai Kai], so we had to wait while they fried sausages and fish patties. Even at this stage in my life, I am called "Xiao3 Di4" :) They are very wasteful in the cookhouse - they throw away the end parts of loafs, the ones which no one wants to eat.

One of the tastier soups that the cookhouse brews, which does not taste like plain water with pepper and/or msg, is the one with pork bones and salted vegetables and is a bit sour, and which I like, incidentally.

My section made comments about the soft toys (of sorts) that I brought in. I've been sleeping with them every night for a while now - a rabbit, a leopard and a rainbow coloured bear, the first 2 given by Screwed Up Girl and the last by my mother. The latter 2 are Beanie Babies (which my section mate persistently calls 'Beanie Bears').

People like to chatter in Mandarin, but it does not mean that they have a high standard of Mandarin. In fact, I daresay I am better than some of them in that language. Incidentally, my brother-in-law's mother thinks that my Chinese has improved. Gasp.

We had a very interesting Stand By Rifle. The sergeant walked in and asked "Whose weapon is clean?... Those who never put up their hands, go and carry on 20" and then walked off.

I've noticed that no one curses in Malay or Indian languages. The most they go to is "bhuto" (whatever) and since that means idiot, they aren't actually cursing per se, but just scolding someone. Why this is so is a mystery. Another mystery in the area of cursing is why people like to curse "chee bye" but not "lan jiao". I think no one curses the latter except for my Platoon Sergeant. My theory to explain this distribution is how I explained what "lan jiao" and "chee bye" were to Huijun and Huimei when I went back to RJC during Chinese New year - "lan jiao" is what they have, "chee bye" is what they want".

When people 'borrow' soap from me, they always squirt out a lot. Usually, the amount they take to wash their hands is more than the amount I use in a shower. My previous Body Shop Jasmine Exfoliating Body Wash just drains away.

The bias towards women and children, and by definition, against men, that pervades society irks me sometimes. Males are always deemed inferior, or more worthy of blame. I once watched this Channel 8 drama serial where there was this "ethical" killer who proudly proclaimed, "I don't kill women and children". More recently, and what sparked this paragraph, the Commentary column by Asad Latif on 25/02/2002 quoted this woman on why she'd saved some Bengalis as saying, "Because they were women and children". I don't really understand why men are seen as evil (for lack of a better word) and women and children are innocent and free of blame. All are tainted by Original Sin, and I don't think women and children manage to avoid adding to it along the way.

And someone finally used the word "column"! I was sick of hearing "rows" when people meant "columns", then one night the sergeant said, "form up into 5 columns". However, he still issued the command as "bergera kerkiri ber tiga tiga" when it should have been "ber lima lima", since tiga means 3. Oh well.

Some sick guy was leading the marching song, and he changed "As the cold wind blows" to "As my girlfriend blows". Eww.

We were forced to watch 'Defence Watch' again, and they were showcasing the soldiers in East Timor. They showed one giving biscuits to a boy. It was the rations from the field rations. We were all quite amused at his apparent generosity.

The bookout criteria for the 3 obese companies seems to be quite similar, at least for running, something like 14:00 for Delta and 14:45 for both Bravo and Gryphon. This is really quite unfair since the Gryphon people are maybe twice the size of the Delta people.

Occasionally, we get this thing called 'Birds' Nest Cordial' at the Cookhouse. I wonder how much Birds' Nest there is inside. Maybe it's 1 PPM (part per million).

We have come to the conclusion that our dear Bunk Cleaning i/c Chee Hwa is obsessed with Bunk Cleaning. You should see the fire in his eyes when he says, "Do your bunk cleaning". The passion and the drive are unmistakable.

A few beds down is Tze Li. Unfortunately, he OOCed about 2 weeks ago, a really bad time to do so, because our course is ending and knowing how long the SAF takes to post people out, he'll probably be here after POP. Poor him.

One really disgusting thing is the way people's shorts and trousers keep coming down. Maybe it's because we've lost so much weight, but whenever many people move, their shorts ride down, revealing their underwear. For some people, their instincts have been honed to the point where their hands will subconsciously tug at their shorts to reveal their underwear the moment we are free for extended periods of time. And sometimes people even deliberately pull their shorts down.

If people try to cheat during Water Parades by drinking less water, they are made to drink more water, as a punishment. This really isn't appropriate as it will instill a dislike of drinking water into the recruit. A vicious circle thus results.

For a week or two, Platoon 1 had an interesting rhyme to chant during water parades, after reciting the 7 SAF Core Values as part of the not-so-subtle indoctrination scheme. It goes, "Drink water good, drink water good. Don't drink water get heatstroke. Get heatstroke, you will die. Then your whole platoon will cry. XXX days to POP!".

I am told that, even after 12 weeks in BMTC, I still bounce when I march. Oh well.

OC night was when the various platoons put up skits about our BMT life. Ours featured Khairuldin and his infamous jock strap, and had someone imitating him ironing his Smart 4 after Lights Out, wearing just the jock strap, while donning webbing for the light the torch afforded. And then someone came by imitating one officer (who was imitated in all *4* of the skits) who was rather perturbed by the sight. Of course, no evening would be complete without a cross dresser, courtesy of Platoon 4.

One of our sergeants decided to be funny, so on two occasions, he made our file contort while marching by issuing, alternately, the "empek kiri" and "empek kenan" commands.

I realise that there's one person whose voice is rather like En Ming's, especially in the way he gives commands.

The rest of the bookout post will be posted after I return on Friday night, since it is now 1:38AM and I am tired.


Quotes:

"[On why I should have scanned the RJ yearbook and not the RGS one] RGS secondary school right? The girls haven't develop yet. (is a secondary, developed)"

"[On Taiwan] You will go there and fight with the people there... You will suffer through sleepless nights, 4 days. That exercise is called R&R."

"For those of you who want to sign on, you can compare it to marriage. Why marriage? Because it's the stupidest thing you have done as a man. (will have)"

"This is my first obese batch. It's been one of a kind. The smell also is one of a kind."
Observations on my (second) return to RJC:

Sister on the RJ girls she saw as we were driving in: 'wah lau, look at those girls... Like convent girls'. The number of people with the A03 look and the A03 behavior seems to increase every year actually :)

There was some female officer cadet with 1 white bar (wah). Quanxing said it was michellle seng or something. Apparently she was from Science. Maybe she's the RJ girl I heard was in Whisky, one of the 3 Whisky girls.

Even with a shaven head, red jacket was still in his jacket.

Howe was in school uniform, the only one I saw who did so, even though I did see some in a RJ T-Shirt and their own shorts.

Odd things one sees: 1 Canteen having vending machines from 2 companies. Apparently they're trying to set up a competitive market, inasmuch as a duopoly can be said to be competitive. There was a machine with a picture of a Pepsi can on it, but which strangely did not vend Pepsi, with the price of its drinks as 70 cents. Across the canteen, the F&N machines vend drinks at 80 cents a can. In the arena of Asian Drinks, the Yeos machines are placed near the ones vending Heaven and Earth drinks.

I do wonder what the students of RJ, being rational consumers, will do.

Ruxin was talking to the school servant. She's one up on me! I chat to canteen vendors (even fierce ones like Monty's Auntie Mary) but she talks to the servants too. Hurrah! :)


Tim got 3 As too - a B for F Maths, and a M for Maths S. Otherwise (and for Chinese) he got a perfect score. What a disgrace for a professed lover of Maths :)

Okay, I did say I wanted to practice essay discipline, but this disparate collection of thoughts really can't be congealed.
Today we got our A level results.

Indulge me a bit.

Hearing my mother's lecture just now, you'd think it was the end of the world. Hearing her ("you don't want to do what I say" - on taking History), you'd realise that she has a plan for my life all mapped out. Right now she's urging me to apply for a place in NUS before they are taken. Looks like her dream of me becoming a PSC OMS scholar like my brother-in-law (ahem) are wrecked (awww). Sometimes, I wonder what's the point. Is boasting to your friends really so important? Or projecting your ambitions on your progeny?

Studying at an Overseas University (hopefully prestigious) is something that the top echelon of Singaporean students desires, nay, expects. Since my parents can't (or won't, as for my sister) pay, this means that I'll have to sell my soul (but I'll be damned if I sell it to the SAF!). Right now it seems the worth of my soul has gone down a few notches, and seeing how bad I am at interviews, I'm probably at the bottom of the heap :) I really don't mind NUS, but it seems likely that Overseas Education is nice.

Hmm, This sounds like it's going to degenerate into an angsty post. In fact, it already has, but it'll end here. The heavy stuff, that is. No more, no Sir.

In the end, I did the same as in prelims, more or less - 2 subjects improved by one level, and 1 deproved by one level, so there was some slight improvement.

I actually had a (rather low) lower bounds of expectations - 3As, a B for history and a B3 for GP (and nothing said about the S papers, for which the intellectual stimulation was reward enough). Now I have missed History and GP by one grade each (letting Yortsin down doubly in the process!). Oh well. Well, at least my name's on the green board as one of the top 587 (or so, of ~850) in RJC! I will now go and kowtow to all those who got 4 As. At the risk of appearing condescending, I will voice my respect for Seng Pou, who got 4 As, who persevered in doing 4 subjects despite being adviced to drop Computing.

Perhaps this shows that there's something wrong with my writing :) My essay discipline is horrible, as is my organisation. Perhaps worse, I tend to have a style of writing which irks the hell out of some people (probably not frequenters of this humble establishment, too). It also didn't help that I used the imaginary word "cohabitate" instead of "cohabit" for my tract on why marriage is not feasible :) Mrs Chan, my GP teacher, actually said she expected an A1 from me. Oh well, there weren't any A1s in her form class 3S06A anyhow.

Ah, hell, I screwed up my essay on why the idea of one partner for life is not workable. Perhaps a peril of choosing the 'interesting' question, or one in which I have personal interest. Now that I think about it, that was one weak essay. Ah, the benefit of hindsight. Maybe I need to blog more, and not post incoherent posts consisting of one sentence paragraphs based on notes scribbled furtively during slavery. Or stop pouring thoughts out of my head one by one like in this paragraph :)

Many people were surprised by my History results. I have no idea why people think I'm good at History. I might know a thing or two about Hittite culture, or appreciate the significance of Shang 'Dragon bones' but writing an essay is really quite hard even so. Knowing random facts is good for SAT II (800!) but doesn't really help for the A level paper.

My sister actually suggested that I retake some A level subjects. I might just do English (Literature) for the hell of it, and write quirky [and marginally correct] stuff that will come out in the Examiners' Report but earn me a fail grade. Hindi would be fun, but be totally out of my depth. But then, most Private Candidates don't do well. In fact, most of them don't even attempt the paper - my basha mate during the SIT Test told me that he was drunk for most of the papers of the 5 subjects he took as a private candidate.

Oh well, when's all said and done, as my revered senior Eugene (now a storeman who books out everyday, a job I would love to have, though a CMPB job, even being the guy collecting urine, would beat that) said, in a few years, I'd not care or remember my A level results. " im sure u dun talk a lot abt o level now do u? =p". Whereupon I related the exchange I had with Quanxing (who might be reading this now, and who took offence at my mentioning that he owed me money but *still* hasn't returned it):

In 2001...
Me: What did you get [for O levels?]
Friend: 8 points
Me: I also got 8... A1s
Friend: Fuck you, Gabriel.

But then he beat me this time, so I guess we're even :)

Some people love to put disclaimers on their pages saying "this is my page, so if you don't like my style, get lost", but I think I shouldn't torture my small but loyal following (yes, they do exist, I'm not deluding myself!). So I will strive (but probably forget) to follow essay discipline, as preached to me by The Associate (who has gone into a leaky attap hut in the forest to meditate, presumably).

Monday, March 04, 2002

Apologise for the bad english in last line of last post- getting incoherent there.
Got back to melbourne on sunday nite, went over to chaowan's [Ed: Who was listed as a 'perfect scorer' on the RJ noticeboard, one of 41 I believe. Loraine and African are in there too!] room again (seems i spend precious little time in my own room not sleeping). Went down to gym- gosh was a whole week since i last trained. Slept.

I'm incredibly grateful to Ben Tan, senior student in ormond college, for helping me out around the college and miscellanous stuff. Including how to get to the airport and back, and emergency phone numbers. Wonderful fellow. First encountered his presence when I espied a nametag on his former room that said "These quarters belong to Benjamin Tan" in a Very Familiar font. I would have just walked away if not for other Very Familiar logos, namely the Babylon 5 Fan club logo and the Psi Corps logo (this one you should know, it's the greek letter "psi" that looks like libra, the scales)

Monday was the first day of classes- lectures mostly. Hung out mainly with the other asians i knew (seriously think i should be less introverted and mix around more with people whose home country's national language isn't malay or bahasa indonesia!!). No scandalous gossip yet, (well, at least none i *care* to share). Today's monday nite, so ... Oooh I went down to the student union library and took out 3 terry pratchetts!!! Soooo excited, just started on The Light Fantastic. Apparently the creative arts students are putting up Wyrd Sisters in april (one of the girls in ormond is acting in it), will catch it then. Student Union library also stocks dvds/videos to rent!

Oh Wutien if you're reading this, is there any way to get around mp3/icq/irc restrictions on the uni network? Oh right, there *is always* a way.

News update: Gabriel (known on Balderdash as agagooga norlan) told me abt ICQ lite, at
www.icq.com
or
lite.icq.com
that is a web version of ICQ- a new window opens as a column on the right of the screen. Ah well, have to build up contact list from scratch. Send andrew messages if you're online!
Next morning and the day after were more orientation games- ditto, ditto. I drenched myself running through the fountains at south bank gaining points for my group (originally comprising people holding on to a jack of spades or jack of clubs card, we called ourselves the black-jacks) made my way back to ormond college to pack my stuff- chaowan hadn't joined in orientation, he went out for lunch and got back just as I was leaving. Took 2 trams down to spencer st to take the skybus down to the airport.

Flew back to singapore and spent the next few days sleeping/reading/slacking. Apart from the scholarship interview (which i will tell u more abt only if you ask me nicely). I didn't bother telling pple i was back- lynette foo was, like, "i just sent you an email wishing you all the best in melbourne and now you're here??" SMSed the ns guys to tell them rumour has it a level results out on wednesday, amongst them only patch caught on that i was in singapore. By the way, A level results out is confirmed!!
Uh-oh. Backwards posts. AH well.
Then college orientation had just started as I got back. I informed admin I wouldn't be around past tuesday afternoon, then joined in the activities. Basically running around, cheering, playing games (some fun, some just dumb, some intended to cause embarrassment- I will not divulge details unless sufficiently bribed), tour around the college in the afternoon, a short chapel service in the evening. I had just enough time to change into a suit and rush down to chapel- which is located on the second floor of the main building, overlooking the quadrangle near the entrance. Amazingly, a number of the girls had enough time to change into gowns And put some make-up- eyeshadow, lipstick, mascara. No rouge. The choral scholars filed in (ooh! asians amongst them! I might have a chance!) and sang some lovely renditions- all pretty modern arrangements- late 1850s to 1900s, including benjamin britten. A short sermon; the deacon mentioned the wide range of religions amongst the student body and read from John 3 and (gulp) somewhere in the old testament. It's a uniting church (i think it's a union of anglican/presbytarian doctrine and tradition); the uniting churches form a big portion of the churches around. Services are sundays 7pm, I definitely will be popping by some of them. Chaowan went for the last one and was uncomfortable with the preacher's somewhat irreverent attitude to the bible.

After the service were pre-dinner drinks outside (cold wind blowing, no idea how backless-gown-wearers survived without their oh-so-out-of-fashion pashminas)- suspicious looking non-alcoholic fruit punches with bits of canned fruit in them, and waiters serving sushi/suspicious samosas/sandwiches. (andrew: Alliteration! Ed: No you don't!!! [Real ed: He's framing me]) A student jazz band was also playing- not bad standard. Then a formal dinner (i.e. i didn't have to queue up behind the dining hall to get my plates of food) with candlelight, tablecloths, napkins, the works. Lovely atmosphere! Before the main course, the college choir got up to some a cappella jamming.Some of them were rather unconventional, i heard a lot of pretty rude words in the lyrics and there was a lot of raucous laughter in between the parts I didn't hear. Ended with "wade in the water"- an afro-american spiritual.

Dinner followed by a "mad hat party"- don unusual headwear and turn up for more suspicious drinks at the junior common room. I pulled on my dark blue beanie (i can just hear my brother go "Not beanie! Woolly cap! beanie's the cap with the helicopter top!") and went down; seniors were serving cordials with a little alcohol in them. All drinks came in gaudy colours- BRIGHT green, red, orange, yellow. Thankfully no blue.

Had a stupendously great time on the dancefloor- a mix of techno, rap, good old-fashioned rock. Dead beat, retired at 11 something
Haven't blogged (andrew: hopefully this word will enter future editions of the OED/Collins/Webster's) for a very long time so this is to make up for it:

First Weekend since last blog:
College Orientation started Sunday. Rushed down to Swanston St. Church of Christ for the 9.00am service (which i was conspicuously late for- arrived at 9.20am). They use a lot of hillsongs material (so most of the songs were familiar); congregation about 200+, LOTS of international students. A large portion of the service was devoted to announcements and messages about current/future missionary/other projects, it was about 10am when the sermon started. Can't remember much about the sermon (bad andrew! must take down notes next time!) except that it was something about giving up all for Christ; then closing (don't remember an altar call); then this friendly guy sitting next to me started talking to me and offered to introduce me to the other singapore students around. The servers (aka ushers) on duty were from the church's international student fellowship aka asian uni students in the church; went out for an early lunch at mekong's with the OCF pple around. Mekong's (vietnamese restaurant) is great value for money; ~A$6.50 gives you a BIG bowl of beef noodles or a plate of "broken" rice with your choice of meat- pork chop, roast beef... , and you can order the $7.50/$8.50 one if you're starving, or just want to share the meal with someone else. Do note that at least for the beef noodles, the sliced beef in the soup is quite rare (Raw), the idea is that the beef should cook in the hot stock in your bowl, at least until most of it isn't red.
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