When you can't live without bananas

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Friday, July 12, 2024

Links - 12th July 2024 (1)

Meme - ">be me, circa 2015
> work for a local company's customer service department, answering phones
> every day at least 10 pajeet scammers call
> boss wants me to just hang up on them
> after a while, start hating my job and my boss
> decide to get paid to have fun fucking around with the pajeet scammers on the phone
> lead them on, act dumb for like 2 hours per call
> eventually after a few hours each one finally realizes I'm wasting their time
> every call, every day, they end it by wishing the black death upon my mother
> I notice the pattern I ask an indian coworker about it
> He tells me that wishing the black death upon someone's mother is the worst insult in India
> You only tell it to someone you truly hate
> start wishing the black death upon the pajeet scammers' mothers
> They go absolutely apeshit
> One of them called back (another coworker got the call) threatening to blow up the company HQ with a bomb
> Another starting faxing the company death threats
> A different pajeet scammer went on Google and left our company 1 star reviews
> Another pajeet started sending death threats to the CEO of our company threatening to kill his family
> Etc. Etc. This went on for months every time I wished the black death upon their mothers
Fun times"

Meme - Max Fras @maxfras: "This is, perhaps, not the best way to brand a new housing development in Poland *Concentration camp gates lookalike*"

Meme - Man on desert island to chicken: "I'm depressed. I eat when I'm depressed"
*Panicked chicken juggling colourful balls on unicycle*

Meme - Man: "Oh, a lucky penny"
*bends to pick it up and pants rip*
Man: "HAHA!"
Woman: "HAHA"
Dog: "HA HA"
Other woman: "Sir, your bottom is amazing."
*Wedding*

Meme - 11 year old cousin: *looking eager*
Woman: "Ooh, you're Watching Full Metal Alchemist? That's a really good one.I like these two characters in particular - a big part of the story is how totally inseperable they are. *dog and girl*"
*Woman on sofa*
11 year old cousin: "THAT'S SO MEAN"

Meme - "HUSBAND AND WIFE AT HOME *Rey and Kylo Ren fighting*
ON FACEBOOK *Rey and Kylo Ren tenderly touching*"

Why The Hub has signed the Ottawa Declaration on Canadian Journalism - "If you put a few dozen journalists in a room, one cannot expect much consensus. The conference was no exception. Yet there were still a few ideas that found broad—though far from universal—agreement.  First, notwithstanding concerns about the collapse of the news media industry, various start-ups representing a range of editorial approaches and business models are in the midst of trying to figure out how to revive it. Second, the current government subsidies model—which quite intentionally preferences legacy players—is at best creating an asymmetrical playing field and at worst impeding the process of innovation and new investment. And third, government subsidies—especially if poorly designed—risk further reducing the Canadian public’s trust in the media... our view is that the government subsidy regime—which after accounting for direct and indirect subsidies, it must be understood, could be as much as 50 percent of an eligible journalist’s salary working at a digital news media outlet—risks freezing into place all of the bad decisions and wrong assumptions that the market has rejected over the past decade or longer.  As taxpayers, it seems counterproductive to send our hard-earned money to companies that have failed to effectively respond to the powerful market forces that ought to have come to animate the industry. It’s the public policy equivalent of rewarding the horse-and-buggy operators for failing to keep up with market developments in the last century.    But, as industry players, that’s not the only problem with government subsidies. It may not even be the biggest problem. The main reason why we signed the declaration is the growing risk to public trust.  As the declaration sets out, less than 40 percent of English-speaking Canadians currently tell pollsters that they trust the news media. It’s hard to see how causing the industry to become dependent on government will do anything but hasten a further decline. People will understandably come to question whether the news stories that we’re seeing (or not seeing) are motivated by the industry’s growing reliance on the state to finance its day-to-day operations. Will it pull punches? Will it choose its stories differently? Will it succumb to the government’s particular interests and preferences?...   Consider for instance that the next federal election will be held in an information environment in which the majority of journalism that voters consume is either directly or indirectly subsidized by the government and where the subsidies themselves are the subject of political debate. It strikes us as a toxic environment for the news media. There’s no ultimate victory. Either outcome undoubtedly does damage to journalism."

Huntsman spider devours entire possum in front of horrified husband and wife in Tasmania

Texans Eat Pickles At The Movie Theater, And They're Surprised To Learn No One Else Does - "Some patrons even request that the pickle be thrown right into the tub with their popcorn—this is charmingly called a "popcorn pickle." All we can say is that amongst all the buttery, sugary, cheese-drizzled, and caffeinated options, a pickle might be one of the healthiest—albeit unusual—choices at the movie theater concession stand. While you might be able to track down select small local theaters in other states that offer pickles, it seems to be primarily a Texas thing"

Long Slide Looms for World Population, With Sweeping Ramifications - The New York Times - "according to projections by an international team of scientists published last year in The Lancet, 183 countries and territories — out of 195 — will have fertility rates below replacement level by 2100... In 2016, Heilongjiang Province became the first in the country to have its pension system run out of money. In Hegang, a “ghost city” in the province that has lost almost 10 percent of its population since 2010, homes cost so little that people compare them to cabbage."
So much for "overpopulation"

Meme - Spargles: "Is this basically correct for Americans?
Not The South *most states*
Sorta The South *Oklahoma, Kansas, West Virginia, Virginia*
The South *Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, North Carolina, Florida*
The Deep South *Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina*"

Meme - "肉粽
以前. 现在 *大胸的女人被绑住*"

Meme - "*pillow, teddy bear, blanket - separate*
*teddy bear tucked in with pillow and blanket*
Thank you strange neighbor. Now non of these three things will dry well."

Should you ask for a pay rise? Not according to the former Pepsi CEO - "Isn’t it funny how the only people who think money isn’t important are the ones who have gobs of it? Nooyi is right that she didn’t need a rise: she earned $31m (£23m) in her final year as PepsiCo’s CEO. By one calculation, she was paid 650 times more than the company’s average employee. She is now on the board of Amazon, which isn’t exactly known for providing a utopian working environment where employees gush about how much they are paid. Meanwhile, income inequality has jumped to record levels. If Nooyi can’t imagine how someone can say they are not being paid enough, she must have an incredibly poor imagination.  It is not just Nooyi’s empathy that could do with some work; it is also her self-awareness. There is a jaw-dropping bit in the same interview where, in what must be a misguided attempt to be perceived as humble, she talks about how her family has lived in the same house for more than 30 years. “We didn’t move into a bigger house,” she says. “All we did was buy the properties next door to ours and take down the house so that nobody would build a gigantic mansion.”  People like Nooyi tend to have teams of PRs who make sure they don’t say stupid things in interviews. How on earth did they let her embarrass herself like this? I can only conclude that they have never, ever, ever been given a rise."

For Rare Book Librarians, It’s Gloves Off. Seriously. - The New York Times - "People who handle rare books for a living are used to doing battle with a range of dastardly scourges, including red rot, beetles and thieves. But there is one foe that drives many of them particularly crazy: the general public’s unshakable — and often vehemently expressed — belief that old books should be handled with Mickey Mouse-style white cotton gloves.  “The glove thing,” Maria Fredericks, the director of conservation at the Morgan Library and Museum, said when contacted about the matter, sounding slightly weary. “It just won’t die.”  “Every time it comes up, I sigh deeply,” said Eric Holzenberg, the director of the Grolier Club, the nation’s oldest private society of book collectors. “And then I give my three-sentence explanation of why it’s” — to use a milder term than he did — bunk.  To (politely) sum up the current consensus: Gloves reduce your sense of touch, increasing the likelihood that you might accidentally tear a page, smear pigments, dislodge loose fragments — or worse, drop the book. And whatever their associations with cleanliness, cotton gloves attract dirt. They also tend to make hands sweat, generating moisture that can damage a page. Rubber gloves, while moisture-proof and generally better fitted to the hand, are too grabby. While there are some exceptions, librarians overwhelmingly agree... Allie Alvis, a rare book cataloger and book historian who posts on social media as Book Historia, got so tired of responding to indignant comments about gloves that she created a smartphone shortcut to instantly generate her (tactful) three-sentence explanation. “I found myself having to type it out five or six times a day,” she said. Alvis, who previously worked at the Smithsonian Libraries and Archives, has also created a video about “the cotton menace,” as part of her video series “Bite Sized Book History.” It’s just one example of the surprisingly robust anti-white-glove content on YouTube, Tumblr and TikTok. There’s even some white-glove-themed Star Wars fan fiction. If you don’t believe librarians, take it from C-3PO: “There is simply no scientific evidence that handling paper or parchment with bare hands causes damage.”... “When people interact with rare books, sometimes they are interacting with a fantasy of how the past is valued,” said Barbara Heritage, the associate director and curator of collections at Rare Book School, a summer institute housed at the University of Virginia.  It can be “shocking,” Heritage said, to see precious books handled with bare hands. “But that’s how these books were read, and how they were made,” she said.  White gloves have an inherent theatricality, as any old-school magician can attest. Even today, auction houses that eschew gloves in their back rooms have been known to use them in publicity photographs, to add to a book’s aura (and price)... some media outlets — she wouldn’t name names — have been known to suggest that librarians don them for film or photo shoots (perhaps to stave off a torrent of angry comments from the public).  So where does the white-glove myth come from? A frequently cited 2005 scholarly article, “Misperceptions About White Gloves,” found little historical support for the practice. Rather, the stereotype seemed to really take root in the public mind in the 1990s, the authors found, possibly thanks to images in archival supply catalogs.  Pop culture has hardly helped matters. In the movie “National Treasure,” Nicolas Cage and his co-conspirators wear white gloves while handling the Declaration of Independence... There are exceptions to the bare-hands rule. Books including some kinds of photographic materials are best handled with gloves (the Library of Congress recommends “clean nitrile gloves”). The same goes for books made from ivory or encased in metal bindings, or certain kinds of cloth... And then there are poison books... Before handling a rare book, some people take off rings and watches. Some libraries forbid even clear nail polish. Hand-sanitizer and lotion are also no-nos. Of course, a streak of nail polish or a bit of lunch left by a long-dead reader is data, potentially revealing something about a book’s passage through time.  Alvis, who works at the antiquarian bookseller Type Punch Matrix, in Silver Spring, Md., has twice found fingernail clippings in the gutters of 18th-century books."

Costco selling retractable driveway bollards amid auto theft crisis - "Industry reports have found that both Ontario and Quebec have seen a nearly 50 per cent increase in vehicle thefts since 2022. According to a 2023 report from the Canadian Finance and Leasing Association (CFLA), a vehicle is stolen every six minutes. Last June, a report from CFLA noted that Toronto saw a 300 per cent increase in vehicle thefts from 2015 to 2022, with the problem growing progressively worse each year. In 2022, more than 9,600 vehicles were stolen in Toronto alone."

70% of workers say they have lied on their resume, survey finds

Samyang: Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy - "Denmark has recalled several spicy ramen noodle products by South Korean company Samyang, claiming that the capsaicin levels in them could poison consumers.  Three fiery flavours of the Samyang instant ramen line are being withdrawn: Buldak 3x Spicy & Hot Chicken, 2x Spicy & Hot Chicken and Hot Chicken Stew... "The products are being exported globally. But this is the first time they have been recalled for the above reason."  It's unknown if any specific incidents in Denmark had prompted authorities there to take action.  The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration said it had assessed the levels of capsaicin in a single packet to be "so high that they pose a risk of the consumer developing acute poisoning"... It also emphasised the warning for children, for whom extremely spicy food can cause harm. The notice has sparked heated discussion online with many amused reactions from lovers of spicy food. Many have made assertions about the Danes' low tolerance for spice.  "I had a friend from Denmark who thought tasteless breaded shrimp with a little bit of ground pepper on it was too spicy. Not surprised they think this ramen is poison," read one top-liked comment on the Reddit r/Korea group.  Samyang said it planned to "closely look into the local regulations" in Denmark and respond after that.  The noodles don't appear to have been recalled before in any other country, nor have there been other safety warnings issued."

German national service plan 'discriminates against men' - "Men will have to fill out their personal details such as fitness, willingness to serve, marital and educational status or risk punishment, possibly a fine.  For women, filling out the questionnaire will be optional...   After the young adults have submitted their questionnaires the government will then select around 10 per cent of those for mustering before narrowing down the selection to the most suitable and motivated. They will then undertake the six-month basic service – with an option to lengthen this by up to 17 months."

Collin Rugg on X - "JUST IN: Boeing whistleblower John Barnett tells Boeing to kiss his a** in his newly released 'su*cide note.'  The note had multiple short phrases including 'F**k Boeing' and 'TRUMP 2024.'  "America. Come together or die!! I pray the motherf***er that destroyed my life pay!!! I pray Boeing pays!!! Bury me face down so Boeing and their lying-ass leaders can kiss my ass."  Barnett had been a vocal critic of Boeing and blew the whistle on them for taking shortcuts.  Barnett was found dead in his car after he failed to show up on the third day of depositions in a case involving Boeing's practices.  His family and friends questioned the claim that he died by taking his own life.  The Charleston Police Department have concluded their investigation and determined he died by su*cide."

New NPR CEO Said ‘Reverence For The Truth’ May Be ‘Distraction’ In Resurfaced TED Talk - "National Public Radio’s (NPR) new CEO Katherine Maher said in a resurfaced 2022 TED Talk that seeking “truth” could impede progress and unity... “Perhaps for our most tricky disagreements, seeking the truth and seeking to convince others of the truth might not be the right place to start,” Maher said during the TED Talk. “In fact, our reverence for the truth might be a distraction that’s getting in the way of finding common ground and getting things done.”
Turns out, of course, that the left only thought truth was important when they could use it to slam Trump

Meme - sy @sysekai: "Have u ever thought that someone has masturbated to u"
Jason CW: Cowboy Bebop: "No cause I doubt it"
Shinato @Shinatoe: "rubbed out a quick one just for you brotha"

Meme - "*Japanese fruit shop* Fruitserection"

Alexis St. Martin - Wikipedia - "Alexis Bidagan dit St-Martin (April 8, 1802 – June 24, 1880) was a Canadian voyageur who is known for his part in experiments on digestion in humans, conducted on him by the American Army physician William Beaumont between 1822 and 1833. St-Martin was shot in a near-fatal accident in 1822. His wound did not heal fully, leaving an opening into his stomach. Studies of St-Martin's stomach led to greater understanding of the stomach, gastric juices and the processes of digestion."

The recipe for pollo a la brasa, a Peruvian chicken dish, is kept a secret - "Schuler seasoned his early creations with a salt-based marinade, but other chefs started integrating more Peruvian flavors. The marinades evolved into an expansive array of blends, showcasing Peru's wide-ranging field of influences. Nowadays, they can contain different types of Peruvian peppers like ají amarillo and ají panca, more European influences like paprika, oregano, cumin, and garlic, as well as vinegar, soy sauce, and ground bean sauce. Plus, chefs prepare the chicken with different roasting methods, employing unique coals and roasting times, which invokes distinct smoky flavors."

Bestwood Country Park - Wikipedia - "King Charles II gave Bestwood Park to his mistress Nell Gwyn and their son. While staying at the hunting lodge, the King and his guests would tease Gwyn for sleeping late and for not taking part in the hunting. The King was reported to have offered to give Gwyn "all the land she could ride around before breakfast." The next day, he found her already sitting for breakfast. She had reportedly "ridden out early, dropping handkerchiefs along her route, and the encircled area became Bestwood Park"."

Anubis - Wikipedia - "Since Predynastic Egypt, when the dead were buried in shallow graves, jackals had been strongly associated with cemeteries because they were scavengers which uncovered human bodies and ate their flesh. In the spirit of "fighting like with like," a jackal was chosen to protect the dead, because "a common problem (and cause of concern) must have been the digging up of bodies, shortly after burial, by jackals and other wild dogs which lived on the margins of the cultivation."

Paving scam fight leads to arrest of Mississauga man - "A group of Mississauga homeowners hired a construction company with a reputable name, only to find out that it wasn’t the company they thought – setting into motion a series of bizarre events that ended with the arrest of a homeowner.  The apparent effort to impersonate Royal Town Construction was so good it produced slick business cards, a matching logo, and may have even tricked the police, customer Jun Shu told CTV News after he spent six hours in a jail cell...   Shu said on May 14, a paving company knocked on his door and made an offer to his wife to replace their driveway. But while she was calling him to decide, the company began digging out a section.  A business card showed “Royal Town Construction Ltd” with a stylized roadway going through the “R” – just like the established Woodbridge-based Royal Town Construction. But when Shu and his neighbours called them to complain, they said they had no idea what he was talking about.  Royal Town Construction supervisor Kosta Alexopoulos told CTV News the company had been inundated with people complaining about work that wasn’t theirs.  “We weren’t there. We were in a parking lot in Brampton. We’re not even anywhere near – and then it clicked,” he said.  Alexopoulos and others from Royal Town Construction rushed down to find a group of people paving driveways in Mississauga. A video recorded then shows them silently scattering as Alexopoulos and the others approached.  “They left machines, equipment behind, and just took off,” Alexopoulos said.  Shu said he called Peel Regional Police as well, and officers told him they started a fraud investigation. Mississauga crews cleaned up the debris that had been left in the roadway.  The group had left behind a sit-on pavement roller on the street, and Shu put it in his garage, thinking it could be an asset he could use as collateral to pay to re-pave his driveway.  A few days later, different officers returned, asking about that roller...   Shu told them he wanted to hold on to it. But he was confused, he said, because, “Those two officers didn’t know anything about the fraud case.”  The next time the officers returned, with someone from the paving company, they demanded the roller back, and arrested Shu for possession of stolen property."
Ontario homeowner fighting back against alleged paving scam arrested : r/toronto - "So the cops not only didn’t help the victim, but arrested the victim for the fraudsters while also having no idea about the report?  Great work guys."

Meme - Planeteers: "Hulu! Prime! Sling TV! Netflix! Disney+!"
Captain Planet: "When your prices combine I am, THE SAME PRICE AS CABLE!"

Meme - "YOU LOVED SOFTWARE AS A SERVICE. NOW MEET COLORS AS A SERVICE
Creative Cloud All Apps
This file has Pantone colors that have been removed and replaced with black due to changes in Pantone's licensing with Adobe. To resolve, click "Learn more""

NOT a monastery’s ’Anti-Gluttony door’ – Fake History Hunter - "The Alcobaça Monastery has a rather narrow door in its former dining hall, according to social media posts this is the “anti gluttony door”. Monks who had to fetch their own food from the kitchen could only fit through the door if they weren’t eating too much as the passage is only 32cm (roughly 1 foot) wide. If they couldn’t get through, they wouldn’t get any food. To prove the claim the story is often accompanied with a picture of a gentleman with a bit of a belly who seems to be unable to get though the door. The narrow door at the Monastery in Alcobaça is in reality 50 centimetres (1.6 ft) wide but was meant to pass plates from the kitchen to the refectory. In a way it was just an early version of the serving hatch... the myth may have been older and was perhaps already being told by tour-guides long before this time. Many myths are born thanks to a guide who decided to be a bit creative with the truth or who forgot to mention that the story he keeps telling the tourists was nothing more than a fable.  Monks have been made fun of and accused of living the good life for centuries, even in medieval times they were a popular target for mocking and there are countless stories of fat monks who drank, ate and fornicated too much. And although this undoubtedly happened in some cases, the men at the Alcobaça monastery were Cistercian monks and thus had a strict, generally healthy diet.  Even if one of the monks got a bit too rotund, there surely would be easier ways to make him eat a bit less than to have an architect plan a special door just for these rare occasions. Besides if a monk is peckish he’ll find a way, especially as there’s another door to the kitchen just left of it that is so wide it would fit several monks at once...  Of course that door is never on the photo’s being shared to accompany this story... It is unclear why they put in such a tall door in stead of just a little window, even if you stack a lot of plates, the passage wouldn’t have needed it to be as big as it is. I think it may be becau"

Colorado launches criminal probe into its star forensic analyst Yvonne 'Missy' Woods who 'performed shoddy DNA testing and altered data that sent HUNDREDS of people to jail over her three-decade career' - "She has worked in her trade for 29 years, and was considered the state's 'gold standard' by colleagues for helping to put infamous murderers behind bars."

Meme - "OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN PLATONIC FOR A WHILE, AND, WELL... I WAS THINKING... MAYBE IT COULD BE SOCRATIC?"
"Why?"
"Perfect"

Meme - *Le téléphone sonne*
"Hé MAMAN, PAPA T'AS ENVOYé UN TEXTO, IL VEUT QUE TU FASSE QUELQUE CHOSE."
"FAIS LE POUR MOI CHéRI JE SUIS TOUJOURS SOUS LA DOUCHE Là "
"D'ACCORD"
*Il rase le chat*

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