"A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500." - Benjamin H. Brewster

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Quotes:

[On being an alibi] Gabriel, can you come home with me? I will pay you with something. [Me: That sounds dodgy. Especially since you're untying your dress]

Your pronunciation is quite good. [Me: Really? My sister says I have a Singlish accent...] You'll have no problems in Marseilles.

[Me: Is she chatting with her secret lover?] She doesn't have a secret lover. [Me: Argh. The point of a secret lover is to keep it secret]

[On a DOTA LAN party] It's because it's become an official sport that people are playing it now. [Me: That's quite sad]

[Someone: We need a gyroscope.] Eww. Isn't that the thing you put up your anus?... Bimbo moment

[On 叫我皇帝] Lucky in Singapore we don't have 'Call me Lee Kuan Yew'

Speaks in a very high voice. Very fair. No wonder all the guys like.

I've never met any guy who likes Japanese porn

My China friend came to Singapore to study. She said her English standard went down.

I realise all my ex-boyfriends had a thing for anal. [Me: All? Maybe that says something about you...]

[Me: I'm quite risk averse, and my time horizon isn't that long] You're getting married?

What XXX and I wanted to do was get a Tarsier, slit its throat and han it over his door... Keep the eyes open

[On relief teaching] I had students whipping themselves with canes... I'd usher them in and they would run out and cane each other

[On international dating] Taiwan, that one, a bit dangerous. She has a free trade policy... The rest are bilateral trade relations.

[On my taste in women] You like the prepubescent, undernourished dwarf.

Yay, I'm going to go home and watch Desperate Housewives. [Me: What shall I do?] Masturbate? [Me: *rolls eyes*]

[On what she saw outside the window] There's a lot of people out there [on the street]. [Me: You can shout at them. Then they'll come up here and beat you up. Sorry they'll come and beat me up.]

[Me on a Middle Eastern restaurant: Why are these places always so dimly lit?] So you can't see how grimy the carpet is.

[24 year old on marrying older men] I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too immature. [Me: I wouldn't marry anyone my age - they're too old.]

[Me on Singapore Idol: Where are all of these kids coming from?] From the birth canals of Singaporeans. I had to say that.

[On his Orientation camp] They're so young. [Me: I thought guys like young girls...] they're so immature and not full-bodied.