"It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember." - Eugene McCarthy

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Computer quotes from Edwin (I nixed the ones I didn't enjoy so much):

"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

"unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep" - my daily unix command list

"Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

"COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."
This is so sexist!!! It trivialises the pain of periods and by setting up the dialectic of the Self and the Other, implies that women are not good enough to be COBOL programmers.

“Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

"SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

"Windows95: It's like upgrading from Reagan to Bush.

"People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."

"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"

"The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2."

"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

"A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

"Better to be a geek than an idiot."

"Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something."

"Geek's favorite pickup line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform? "

"Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

"Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades."

"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages."

"The box said 'Required Windows 95 or better'. So, I installed LINUX."

"Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."

"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

"Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everything's going to work just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as you have contract with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be facing new situations you never expected. You'll be forced to patch the code (admit you're wrong) and then the code (wife) will just end up all bloated and unmaintainable in the end."

"Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies." - Linus Torvalds

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."

"It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa."

"I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from."

"Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

"The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."