"For a long time, maybe even since the stormy night of her eighth birthday and the frenzied palmetto beetle, she'd known that being a victim was often a choice that people made. As a child she hadn’t been able to put this insight into words, and she hadn’t known why so many people chose suffering; when older, she had recognized their self-hatred, masochism, weakness.
Not all or even most suffering is at the hands of fate but befalls us at our invitation.
She'd always chosen not to be victimized, to resist and fight back, to hold on to hope and dignity and faith in the future. But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation, failure would no longer generate guilt but, instead, would spawn a comforting self-pity.
Now she trembled on an emotional high wire. not sure whether she would be able to keep her balance or would allow herself to fail and fall."
--- Intensity: A powerful thriller of violence and terror / Dean Koontz