***
User Friendly from yesterday:
Greg: Is it really so bad if you're not right about something?
Customer: Don't even go there.
Greg: Oh come on, what awful thing would happen if you admitted you were wrong about something for once?
Customer: Four dudes on boney horses might come by for a visit.
Greg: And their names would be what, humility, wisdom, maturity and confidence?
Secret Asian Man from yesterday:
Sam on his 'Asian' shirt: A friend gave me this shirt so I can show pride in my culture.
Bearded guy: What if I wore a WHITE PRIDE shirt?
Sam: Why not?
Bearded guy: Wouldn't people think I was a CRAZY RACIST?
Sam: No, but if I were you I'd avoid extending my arm and hailing a cab.
And a rare funny Garfield:
Jon: Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotional need? ... That you eat to compensate for some inner need?
Garfield: Of course. It's called hunger, you dipstick
(I can't be bothered to transcribe this one, but luckily someone else did)