"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." - Fran Lebowitz

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Quotes:

[On a perfect being seeming to change his mind after petitionary prayer] Maybe, at the point of making the decision... He wants to reveal something about himself... 'Maybe... this mere mortal had an idea that I hadn't tired before.. Thank you, Melvin... I take my hat off to you'... Or maybe he wanted to reveal an aspect of his character to Melvin.

[On pre-determinism, foreknowledge and prayer fulfilment] You don't get a dog no matter what. You get a dog because you prayed for it... This is not like que sera sera, whatever will be, will be... If he's determined to change his mind in response to your prayer than he will... If you pray for it he'll give it to you. If you don't he doesn't... He wouldn't necessarily know if you would pray for it, so he doesn't have foreknowledge.

[On apologetics and atheologians] Think of it as a kind of dialectic. Or, as I prefer, a ping pong game.

[Student: I don't see how Swinburne responds to this.] He says 'uh huh'. He says 'yes he does. Does to.'... There are no differences between what God would do as a deontologist and what God would do in a utilitarian framework.

[On 2 problems of Hell] Any [conceptual] questions about either of the problems? I see you shifting in your chair. [Student: Huh? I'm not sure that Sider is the son of an evangelical... He hasn't been listening to his father.]

[On apologetics changing what it defends] Most of the philosophers and theologians conceive of hell differently from that... They conceive of it as separation from God... Objectively, it's a very bad place to be, even if it's not to them

[On annihilation as solving the problem of Hell] God as Jack Kevorkian or something. The euthanasia model.

[On objections to universalism] Something I'm calling the exclusivist “Duuhh” objection

[Student: I just wonder what value the modifications are. Because the doctrines are supposedly the word of God.] This is something that isn't hammered out... It doesn't say... 'Reject annihilism in favor of punishment because the punishment model is what comes out of my mouth, the word of God'... There was no unified, that is 100% accepted by everyone, doctrine of hell, within Christianity. Never. Not even in the beginning ... Judaism... 'We think there's a hell, but there's no way it can be longer than 12 months, right?'... When the arguments from the text sort of run themselves out, here's us philosophers saying "here's where we can help".

[On skeptical theism as a last defence] You can say 'okay, but I don't get it'. *cups hands around mouth* 'You're not supposed to'.

[On how to be saved in Judaism] 613 [laws]... Only if you're Jewish, though. For the rest of us, 7 Noahide laws. Much easier.

Questions? Yeah. I saw your elbow. That's good enough.

[On apologists objecting to universalism because God's obvious after death] It seems kind of spiteful. 'You had a good time, drinking, dancing, all the drugs, while I was on the straight and narrow... I wanted to act that way too, but I didn't'. Something like that.

[On it being okay to acknowledge God in the afterlife when it's obvious] Think of the Propher Muhammad or the Apostle Paul. 'They got something I didn't get!'... He was on the road to Damascus. Bohm! Shoom! A big voice... 'I didn't get that!'... Bigtime lights and the sparkles. What they got would be undeniable, but we don't get anything like that... Should we say that they don't deserve heaven? It would be weird. Christians would be unlikely to think that Paul doesn't deserve Heaven because the conditions of his conversion were a lot more favourable than anybody's else's... It would be painfully obvious what the exclusive truth is. And they'd respond appropriately to it. Good for them!

[On proof of God] We're not talking about a miracle. 'He had wine in his back pocket all the time'. We're talking about an afterlife.

[On doubting revelation] Can you imagine Paul... 'I'm beginning to doubt it. Maybe it was that spicy Mexican food I had.'

Gabriel, did you rebond your hair?... You make me feel ashamed of my hair. I can't take care of it as well.

[Female student on a photo: Fat] I'm not a girl, man. Fat is good.

3 minute talk - half the time they tell jokes. They say it's okay because the lecturer - he tells jokes also... Long lecture, you need to keep people awake.

The plane always has a tail. Is it just to put the logo of an airline?

In the past I used to tell students during their 3 minute talk that 'This is crap' or 'That's the worst thing I've ever heard' but a lot of students couldn't take it, so nowadays I just give them a 0. End of story.

[On presentations] You can come with a guitar and start singing, as someone did so many years ago.

It's very easy to be creative... It's not crazy modern art. In Britain one guy... he put a lightbulb in the room. It just kept turning on and off. That's modern art for you.

The Nazis are a great example. You can dump anything on them and no one will stand up for them... Punching bag.

[On the Nazis and Christian Heritage] The real situation was actually far crazier than what you see in the Indiana Jones movies.

Even academics... We like to think we're neutral. I'm being paid by your government. So you should be careful of what I'm saying. I should be careful of what I'm saying.

[On governmental comments on an application for a research grant] It fit very well within Singapore's agenda.

As you go through the departments here, it's no surprise you can't get any class which deals with stuff before the 1500s. Classical [History]... Prehistory... Courses that are standard at any University... If you want to learn about the distant past, it's not possible at this University, or any Institute of Higher Education in Singapore. [Ed: Actually there's a course which talks about Japanese Pre-history]

Why did Saddam Hussein invade Iraq? (Kuwait)