PerversionTracker: Apparently Useless Software - "We will assume that KillerRobots’ mention of "amazing 3D graphics" was somewhat sarcastic, as all we saw was a insect-riddled rendition of Pac-Man. Given that Gaichu adds only a few minor variations like movable barriers and poison pills, we were not overly impressed in the usual sense of the word. Instead, Gaichu is impressive in the way that a howler monkey’s perfect feces-flinging skills are impressive, as when the excreta achieves perfect coverage across the broad expanses of a suburban family on their first and last visit to the local zoo. So you see, this sense of "impressive" covers the gamut of emotional trauma, the agony of gratingly disparate worldviews, and flan lightly dusted with ginger."

Kazaa Lite shut down - The Kazaa Lite K++ project has been shut down by Sharman Networks on grounds of copyright infringement. How ironic. Oh well, there's always Diet K.


WANT TO BE A MAVERICK?

Friday December 5, 2003

You must have 8 A*s at PSLE, an IQ above 150 and excel in CCA and sports

by mr brown news@newstoday.com.sg

Some call these men the greatest entertainers on earth - flying without wings - defying physical limitations. But the risks these men take are great: Bodies have been battered, heads broken, careers ended in an instant.

Yes, this is entertainment, but the hazards are real: No matter whoever you are, whatever you do, please don't try this at home. Please - don't become part of a confrontational union.

Ok, now that we have got the violent union stuff out of the way, let's talk about wimps.

I was going to talk about Wimp Lizkit, that tough and angry rock group, cancelling their concert here in Singapore because of security fears. (Yes. Those violent car drivers who horn 0.2 seconds after the light turns green can be really scary in Singapore).

But I decided that the Army treadmill story was more relevant.

Apparently, there are soldiers out there who believe the new IPPT (Individual Physical Proficiency Test) in an aircon gym idea is not a good thing. These are the same people who reminisce about the good old days when National Service was a lot tougher.

I think every generation of NSMan believes that their training was the toughest, or at least tougher than the current batch.

1975: "In my day, our officers made us run 10km with our full packs, to reach our training location! Not like you wimps who get there by three-tonner now."

1998: "In my day, our officers made us sit in a hot three-tonner to reach our training location to do our 2.4km run. Not like you wimps who get to do your training without leaving the camp now."

2003: "In my day, our officers made us run our IPPT 2.4km on real roads in our camp, in the heat, not like you wimps who run on a treadmill in an aircon gym now."

2010: "In my day, our officers made us run our IPPT 2.4km on a treadmill. Not like you wimps who now do your IPPT as a written test!"

Singapore soldiers are a funny lot. We bitch when the training is tough and when Mindef comes along and makes things more convenient, we complain that the training has gotten too soft.

I believe that most of us become passionate about the toughness of training only after we finish our full time stint. Because while you are serving those two or 2.5 years, you would be crazy to complain that the training was too easy.

Even if you thought so, you would not come out and complain about it, because your platoon mates would probably beat you up for saying that the training needs to be harder.

"Sergeant! I want to give feedback! I think we should do more than this 24km route march we just finished! I think we should try for marathon distance, like 42km. Or else we will compromise the quality of our army training!"

(Blanket Party follows)

But of course, there is a fear of army training getting too soft. If we are not careful, our fighting men will one day need to get mommy and daddy to sign a consent form to let Ah Boy crawl in the grass or eat the food at the cookhouse.

We need our fighting men to be fit and tough as nails, able to take long periods without canteen breaks and able to work as a team. Build a team player, not a maverick.

That said, top government officials have acknowledged that Singapore needs its share of mavericks to help us make the leap forward.

So all those interested in being a Singapore Maverick, please pick up a form at your nearest community centre - to be an officially-approved maverick.

If shortlisted, you will be required to take an entrance exam, followed by an interview and submit an essay that describes in no less than 3000 words, "Why I want to be a Maverick, and how I can contribute to the good of the nation by being one without being confrontational".

Some schools will offer programmes for students who show the potential to be a Maverick. Maverick Assistance Plan schools, or M.A.P. schools, will have a special curriculum that caters to students with maverick tendencies. Classes will be kept small, around one to two students per class. To qualify, students need to have at least eight A*s at PSLE, an IQ of no less than 150, and excel in CCA and sports.

Singapore will be striving to become the Maverick Hub of Asia, attracting mavericks from all around the world.

But we want quality mavericks, not the kind that snip their (unmentionable) hair in protest, or who vote their union leaders out as and when they feel like it. No, we want the constructive and compliant kind, the type who feel a need to contribute to Team Singapore.

So if you think you have the makings of a Singapore Maverick, start studying hard now.

We want to farm you and nurture you, to help the rest of the non-Maverick but Equally Essential Team-Playing Citizens of this country come up with better ideas than doing IPPT in an aircon gym.

mr brown is the accidental author of a popular website that has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997. He thinks IPPT should be done in real combat conditions, like in union meetings.

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