Meme - Woman in bed: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT ME A VIBRATOR!"
Luke Skywalker: "A VIBRATOR?" *shocked and drops phone*
*Lightsaber and blood*
Star Destroyers, a Eulogy : r/saltierthancrait - "(Slight spoiler, SW Outlaws): In Star Wars Outlaws, you face an Imperial Star Destroyer, and surprise, surprise: you, in your scrappy smuggler's ship, plus a couple of snubfighters, plus a couple of corvettes, blow it up.
Another SW game, another Impstar bites the dust. Color me shocked. I'm so tired of the way Disney has reduced a beloved icon of sci-fi menace to a default target that now seems to get stomped just to make it feel like something substantive was accomplished. Unfortunately, we're at a point where it no longer accomplishes even that. Let's take a walk down some recent history. In "Star Wars: Squadrons," the Rebels just started grabbing Star Destroyers left and right, ignoring that each has a crew of around thirty-five thousand, or at bare minimum, five thousand. Nah, just send a boarding team straight to the bridge, no need to worry about stealth or resistance. (Page's Commandos are dying of laughter somewhere.) And once taken, these behemoths of war were then hauled out to a gigantic graveyard to be stripped for parts to make one ship. Perish the thought of actually using them. How would fans know who the bad guys were? At the start of The Last Jedi, Poe single-handedly wipes out all of a dreadnought's turrets with relative ease. TLJ also sees the main Resistance capital ship completely crippled after a single attack run by Kylo and a couple fighter escorts. Again, with lasers, as if the warships were armored in flypaper. In the Kenobi show, the might and fighter capacity of Vader's own Star Destroyer is rendered moot when it comes to a single fleeing Rebel shuttle. 100% of the Star Destroyer's attention is then drawn toward Kenobi heading to the nearby planet. And said Star Destroyer completely vanishes when Obi-Wan decides to leave the planet shortly afterward. And loath though I am to even think about this next one, The Rise of Skywalker sees hundreds of Star Destroyers rendered mostly useless. I count them as Impstars even though they're "Xyston-class" because there's no change in profile. They're just Impstars with a Death Star laser. And I must mention the First Order Star Destroyer, supposedly an improvement upon the Impstar in every way, which had no ability to respond to actual horses running on its hull. Didn't even consider tilting to an angle to tip them off. My point is, Star Destroyers no longer seem dangerous. They just seem like a joke. All the resources poured into building such massive ships, all the manpower needed to crew them, and they either seem utterly impotent, or they drop like flies everywhere we look. Does anyone remember Legends? In Legends, two Star Destroyers captured at Endor felt like a big deal, a real game-changer. Having one of them tapped for the First Battle of Borleias (X-Wing: Rogue Squadron) was significant. In Legends, Imperial Star Destroyers were a threat. Your guts clenched if one of them dropped out of hyperspace, even if you had a fleet at your back. If you wanted to kill one, you needed a lot of ordnance. And their skippers were tactical. If you downed the shields on one side (or tried a stupid cavalry charge on the hull), a Star Destroyer would simply roll. If you wanted to sneak aboard one, you had to be Mara fucking Jade. No longer. Now, thanks to Disney, any homeless street kid (Ezra Bridger) or spunky smuggler can grab stormtrooper armor and make it look easy. If Disney wants to blow up Imperial ships, why can't they choose something else? Where are the Victory Star Destroyers? The Dreadnaught heavy-cruisers? The Carrack-class? The Lancer-class? (My bet: the answer is brand recognition. "How's the audience gonna know it's the Empire if it's not a Star Destroyer?") Imperial Star Destroyers have gone the way of stormtroopers. When was the last time the sight of one actually inspired some dread in you?"
Star Destroyers, a Eulogy : r/saltierthancrait - "Still scratching my head at thousands of civilian ships, with a few capital mixed in, stood any real chance against thousands of Star Destroyers with a notable amount of escort fighters. Even if in atmosphere."
Star Destroyers, a Eulogy : r/saltierthancrait - "Substitute “Star Destroyers” with “Jedi” or many other signature SW features and this still works"
"Lightsabers immediately come to mind.... how many characters we up to now that have survived gut shots from a saber???"
"laughs in Reva"
I fucking hate all of you : r/SequelMemes - "The amount of mental gymnastics needed to blame the fans for Disneys idiotic and evil decisions."
"It has to be the most successful marketing campaign in history. Shift all incompetence from the global corporation and blame it on...*checks notes*...the people who had no say in the creation of the movies. It's practically a magic trick."
I fucking hate all of you : r/SequelMemes - "They're people who have no lives, so they latch onto a community to belong and then endlessly complain about it. Any time I hear people complain irl about SW stuff it's always the same cringe takes you read online by people who are upset they grew up and lost their sense of wonder. Maybe, if you stopped looking for reasons to complain about something, you'd find that again."
"That’s a funny way of defending bad writing"
"Dismissive takes like these is how you get people to become wary and apprehensive with the side who "just wants to enjoy the content". Nobody likes having their opinions be waved away under the guise of it only being able to come from people with no lives. Neither do they like having people assume that the only way they got to their opinions was because of someone else, with the added implication that their opinion somehow is less valid because of it. I don't understand why people like you can't simply... disagree. But no, you need to disagree and attack their character for having a different opinion than you. It's juvenile and pervasive behavior on the internet. It's what keeps people pissy at each other and it degrades what little possibility there is for actual productive discourse."
"I mean, you are quite literally sitting here and being salty about other people bitching on the internet. What have you got going on in your life that allows you to spend your time bitching about others on the internet?"
"Well if Disney stopped making utter fucking shit then maybe people would move on. But it wasn’t five years ago that another bullshit product was rolled out. It was 2024."
Why I don't like the "George did this, so it's okay if Disney does it argument" : r/saltierthankrait - "I find it hilarious that Disney shills used dark empire has an example of the eu having bad writing and why it shouldn’t be used as a blueprint for the sequels. Then episode 9 copied dark empire almost 1:1, whether or not jj realized it. Those people have become silent and I haven’t heard anyone use that argument again"
Why I don't like the "George did this, so it's okay if Disney does it argument" : r/saltierthankrait - "It's basically nihilism. They know that they can't defend the problems of modern Star Wars, so they just go "Well, old Star Wars had problems too." Yeah, it did. And people DID call them out. But the problems didn't ruin the movie, like they do now. Shockingly, you can call out a movie for its problems, while enjoying the movie overall."
Meme - "Mom, you're embarrassing us! *Princess Leia mother* *Darth Maul kid* *2 Sith [?] kids*"
Meme - "Your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. An elegant weapon, for a more ..."
"Why don't you tell Luke how you beat General Grievous"
"Shut up. Owen"
Meme - "TELL ME ABOUT MY FATHER"
"WELL.. OK I GUESS I'LL START AT THE BEGINNING."
"2 HOURS LATER"
*Laughing* "THEN HE SAID "YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER.""
Alexandra Petri on X - "from Jabba the Hutt's perspective Star Wars is the story of a guy who owed him money and then instead of paying had his friends murder him"
Breaking News : r/saltierthancrait - "My personal theory on this is that Kathleen Kennedy is probably close to retirement, and therefore wants to leave a legacy. So she wants to make Star Wars her own; and maybe even more than that, she wants her vision of Star Wars to supercede the original/Lucas' vision. For me this would explain the blatant disregard for the legacy history, lore, and fans."
Breaking News : r/saltierthancrait - "It doesn’t matter if half the show is fantastic with cool fights if half the show is utter dogshit. The Last Jedi is a great example of this concept. The Rey/Kylo plot and fight against Snoke was amazing as was the final scene with Luke. Unfortunately the whole thing gets muddied by the nonsensical change to Luke’s character, Leia flying in space, and the Rose/Finn subplot."
"I think secondary to the issue is shit like the fact that Rey falling for the bad boy character was about as pathetic as Lucasfilms claiming a position of idealized feminism as they rolled out a Star Wars kitchen appliance line featuring Rey and BB8. How are any of us suppose to suspend our disbelief when they immediately undermine everything. The main reason Star Wars currently sucks is because the majority of decision makers at Lucasfilms do not understand the adult Star Wars fan community that kept it afloat for over 30 years outside of the content they explicitly made for children. IE the games, the comics, the books. They regularly pissed on those fans by dismissing the books, then stealing from them while pretending they didn’t tell us to fuck off. The games, are mostly now pay to play schlock, and the comics, have been incredibly boring anytime I’ve tried to give them a chance."
"Oh man, the choreography in that fight sequence is so bad and nonsensical. There is no way Rey survives 2 seconds in that fight if the stunt guys didn’t literally stop moving their arms waiting for Daisy to hit her cues. How that was the best take and the one to make it to print is mind boggling."
Meme - "Rey after realizing she made a whole trilogy without her hand being cut off."
"That's because she isn't a Skywalker"
Meme - "Never forget that Jar Jar Binks's actor almost took his own life for all the hate he received from the "fans""
Ahmed BEst: "20 years next year I faced a media backlash that still affects my career today. This was the place I almost ended my life. It's still hard to talk about. I survived and now this little guy is my gift for survival. Would this be a good story for my solo show? Lemme know."
"Ahmed Best said it was the media and not the fans that got to him."
I like how the media bullied Ahmed Best and the SJWs use that to blame the fans for being "toxic". When you have a narrative to push...
Meme - *Bearded Rey with Female sign tattoo and Trans Pride Flag* "I was assigned Palpatine at birth, but I identify as Skywalker."
The Acolyte cost a staggering $670k per minute of footage and garnered over a billion less minutes watched than every other Star Wars show. How is anyone surprised it was cancelled? : r/StarWars - "So Disney and Kathy have ruined the post OT era (Mando S3, BoBF, Ahsoka), the even further post OT era (Sequel Trilogy), the era between the PT and the OT (Obi Wan show), the era prior to the PT (The Acolyte). The last thing they have left to ruin is the Old Republic era and then they will have ruined all the eras in which they had a chance to tell original stories, so they will butcher the PT and OT eras. At that point, they will probably reboot Star Wars. Bravo, Kathy, you are a dumbass."
The Acolyte cost a staggering $670k per minute of footage and garnered over a billion less minutes watched than every other Star Wars show. How is anyone surprised it was cancelled? : r/StarWars - "He’s referring to Rian Johnson, the director of Last Jedi. Abrams loved the original trilogy and didn’t care for the prequels, Johnson was the opposite, so Abrams’ plan was to “bring Star Wars back” because he disliked the prequels. Rian Johnson hated what he did and tried to undo everything in TLJ. Which ended up making an incoherent Threequel from two opposing philosophies."
'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series : r/StarWars - "Obi Wan and Book of Boba Fett had the same problem. They were all pitched and announced years ago as movies. The writers had about ~2-3 hours of story to tell, but the execs forced them to stretchhhhhh it out over 6 to 8 hour long episodes. Hell, a quarter of Boba Fett's episodes didn't even have Boba Fett in them!"
'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series : r/StarWars - "This is what hurt Obi Wan so badly. A film us2ally has three acts, an opening, rising action, then climax and resolution. The problem with taking what was written as a movie and carving it up into 6 hour long episodes is that now, instead of one three arc structure, you need six separate three arc structures. Every episode has to have it's own action set-piece climax before resolving and laying out the next episode. This is why you have incredibly bad scenes like the Leia chase sequence in the woods in episode one and the rooftop shootout in episode two. These sequences would have been in the films rising action, but because now they're episodes, we have to cram an "action climax" awkwardly into places they don't fit."
'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series : r/StarWars - "PASTEL colored Vespas, no less. And this was supposed to be a group of ruffians. Disney just can't help themselves from the cash grab ("this'll make an awesome toy set, and the stupid viewers don't care, they just eat whatever sh*t up that we create!!1!!")."
"On Tatooine, where anlmost everything looks rather weathered and old."
"And for good reason. You blend in better. Nothing says an easy target for a Tuscan than a colorful speeder you can spot for miles."
"Yes but those colorful vespas where reaching the speed of light, no way tuskens would catch them."
'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series : r/StarWars - "I thought the scooters would be introduced to the parks as themed mobility scooters"
On the Book of Boba Fett
'The Acolyte' Canceled: No Season 2 For Disney+'s 'Star Wars' Series : r/StarWars - "we got to see Boba do exactly what we wanted to see him do! Retire to a backwater planet, do very little fighting, even less killing, and be a big softie who's not much of a threat to anyone at all."
"Still convinced that the plots to Book of Boba Fett and Kenobi were swapped by accident. The stories would have made way more sense and been way better if we’d had Boba track down Leia and encounter Vader (possibly even including a heavily planned takedown attempt on Vader that impresses Vader enough for him to hire Boba later to get Han) and for Kenobi to insert himself into the Tatooine organised crime gangs to sort the spot out."
"How did they make his character badass in Mando Season 2 only to absolutely suck in BOBF, his own goddam show 🤦♂️"
"They turned him into Ned Flanders!"
"It felt like a Steven Seagal movie where the actor/producer insists they HAVE TO do their own stunts, but they're also can't do the stunts because they're too old. So Boba randomly acquires allies who do all the serious fighting, while he gets immediately incapacitated until after the fight, or does some "fighting" that's mostly just standing around and not moving too much."
Meme - gomjabbar: "every time a new Star War movie or show is announced all the fans are like "OMG Glup Shitto is back""
Chopper @Chopper_Rebel: "FIRST LOOK AT GARAZEB ORRELIOS IN THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU!! REBELS FANS WE'VE WON! #TheMandalorian #D23"
Meme *Death Star* Planet Killer
*Starkiller Base* System Killer
*The Fulminatrix Mandator IV-class Siege Dreadnought* Fleet Killer
*Kathleen Kennedy* Franchise Killer"
Meme - Scout Trooper: "THE AVERAGE SHOOT/KILL RATIO OF A WW2 SOLDIER WAS 45,000 ROUNDS FOR EVERY ONE KILL. AND VIETNAM WAS 50,000 TO ONE. THE STORMTROOPER AVERAGE IS 20-40 ROUNDS FOR EVERY KILL, MAKING THE AVERAGE IMPERIAL AIM TO BE BEYOND SUPERHUMAN. UNTIL NEXT TIME CITIZEN! *speeds off*"
Thomas Parry's answer to Why are the Star Wars battle droids such imbeciles? - Quora - "Let me tell you a story from Legends, about a droid built to kill that was made intelligent. This is the story of the activation of IG-88. This is IG-88B, one of 4 IG-88 platforms. They were created by a company by the name of Holowan Labs, and were intended to be extremely intelligent and adaptable. When the first platform, subsequently named IG-88A, was first activated, it analysed the lab’s computers in seconds, discovered the nature of its existence and its relative power compared to the organic beings around it, and slaughtered them with its bare hands when they attempted to turn it off. It then copied its own programming into the other 3 platforms and escaped, killing everyone in the building in the process. These 4 droids holed up on a planet called Mechis III, a former Separatist factory world, and started planning a droid uprising. And they came damn close to succeeding too, with their plan being to copy their programming into every droid in the galaxy, destroying all organic life and leaving only machines alive. They did that with 4 platforms. Imagine what would happen if there were 50 million of them. The secret to a good droid soldier is to make them just smart enough to be competitive against their opponents, but not smart enough for them to start wondering why they are following the orders of something physically less durable than them."
Meme - Loyalists of the Galactic Empire: Somehow returned: "When you post dumb shit and people don't get it or laugh at you for it. You're not a terrible memer. Everyone else is just media illiterate No I don't know what the context is, frankly I don't care."
Rey Skywalker-core: "The internet really doesn't understand jokes anymore huh lol and the original sedition of trolling is supposedly dead. I knew media literacy was mostly extinct but even MEME literacy"
Why are the "core" pages all commies?
Nathan Stanish's answer to What did Darth Sidious/Palpatine get right in his assessment of the Jedi? - Quora - "Palpatine had an amazing read on the Jedi. Chalk some of that up to Plagueis and his guidance, or Dooku’s insight, but much of it was Palpatine’s brilliant observations. Here are the big things that Palpatine got right about the Jedi:
Their complacency | After centuries of peace, the Jedi only wanted to stay their course. Why change what’s working? Traditions became part of the religion in ways that drifted from the Will of the Force. Those traditions pushed Anakin into the welcoming arms of Palpatine.
Their politics | Jedi are not supposed to have attachments, but Palpatine could see that they’d become attached to power—specifically, the elevated status from their alliance with the Galactic Republic. The politics pushed the Jedi into war.
Their arrogance | Nobody could threaten the Jedi. At least, that’s what the Jedi assumed. They were more powerful than ever and their leaders, Yoda and Mace Windu, were the best a Jedi could be. Why worry? Such arrogance blinded the Jedi to the growing darkness and Palpatine’s unprecedented power.
The irony is…Palpatine fell victim to those exact weaknesses... George Lucas always said that Star Wars should “rhyme,” and this bit does. The same problems that hounded the Jedi immediately re-emerged in Palpatine’s reign."
Meme - "I can't believe the sad state Star Wars is in right now"
"Peter you have to let it go already. The Star Wars you knew is long gone. Star Wars is now used by a conglomerate to virtue signal to groups of people that also strongly dislike it. You need to accept Star Wars is dead and move on. It's not worth thinking about anymore. It's not worth the stress."
"No Uncle Ben. I'm a real Star Wars fan till the end. My toxic fandom for Star Wars will keep on as long as Star Wars keeps being trash"
"Peter please... Let Star Wars go, move on and be free of it. Before it's too late."
Meme - Stormtrooper in Tattooine: "THIS HEAT IS KILLING ME... GONNA REQUEST A TRANSFER"
Snowtrooper: "WELL SH#T!"
Saruman vs. Palpatine - YouTube
Meme - "The target area is only two inches wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor" *Woman wearing Death Star tights*
"That's no moon..."
"You sure"
Meme - "The target area is only two inches wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor" *Woman wearing Death Star skirt/dress*
Meme - "Have you seen the new Star Wars stuff lately?"
"Only Mandalorian"
"Well you're not missing much. It's all woke now"
"I'm actually more of a Star Trek fan honesty"
"Oh yea? Is their new stuff any good?"
"......no"
How Star Wars writer Chuck Wendig's tweets got him fired by Marvel - The Washington Post - "It all began Oct. 6 when Wendig unleashed a tweetstorm as Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court after allegations of sexual assault in the 1980s. “There will be renewed calls for civility. Ignore them,” the author said in a protest-urging tweet that was shared nearly 18,000 times. Wendig proceeded to use profanity when referring to Kavanaugh, President Trump and Republican leadership, saying that they have “shamed victims” and have “helped dismantle democracy.”... Wendig said such a professional toll is “definitely” having a chilling effect among some creators. “Since this happened to me, I’ve heard a number of other stories that aren’t public, of artists and writers who feel like they were silenced about their politics in particular,” said the Pennsylvania-based novelist and screenwriter (“Collapsus”)."
From 2018. Given the political bias with Pedro Pascal vs Gina Carano and the woke agenda, he must have really crossed an internal line. I guess he doesn't believe in "accountability". Of course, he blamed "bots" and conservatives, ignoring the far more numerous examples from his side
Star Wars Author Chuck Wendig Doubles Down His Attacks in Profanity Laced Twitter Explosion - "he decided to attack a number of Star Wars fans by calling them “white supremacists.” He would then threaten to sue fans over a parody t-shirt they made... He once again describes a number of Star Wars fans as “shitty.”... But he escalates it a little further by claiming that his critics come “from a poisoned, septic well-spring.” He claims that well spring is “toxic masculinity and abusive white privilege.” It’s highly ironic given Wendig is white and a man."
If you're not allowed to insult and threaten fans, you're being censored
Meme - "Danielle
YOU MATCHED WITH DANIELLE
"Well hello there x"
*General Kenobi General Grievous GIF*
"Wtf is that"
"Well I've definitely mis read this situation."