Monday, April 22, 2024

Links - 22nd April 2024 (2 - #MeToo)

Meme - Lucas Lynch: What's the difference between a sexual assault allegation and a smear campaign?  Sexual assault allegation = a sexual assault allegation against that person I dislike.  Smear campaign = the exact same sexual assault allegation against that person I like."
"What's the difference between holding powerful men to account/ rape culture and a smear campaign? Holding powerful men to account/#believewomen/fighting rape culture = a sexual assault allegation against that person I dislike. Smear campaign = the exact same sexual assault allegation against that person I like. Ftfy"

Meme - The Rumbling @DaRumbling: "I feel horrible for connecting these dots but Harvey Weinstein got MeTood and now all the new actresses are kinda ugly"
DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm: "Julia Garner has been cast as a female Silver Surfer in 'FANTASTIC FOUR'. (Source: Deadline)"

Luis Rubiales faces 30 month jail sentence for Hermoso kiss
Dani Alves: Ex-Brazil footballer set to be released pending appeal - "Alves was sentenced to four-and-a-half years in prison last month, after a court found him guilty of raping a woman in a Barcelona nightclub in 2022."

The hidden side of Pestminster - "His experience is part of a widely known but seldom discussed dynamic at Westminster, in which a small number of male gay MPs, peers and senior parliamentary managers wield an uncomfortable degree of power over younger male employees, often gay themselves.   The trend is rarely talked about, in part because to even raise such a sensitive issue risks playing into an age-old — and grossly offensive — homophobic stereotype that equates homosexuality with predatory behavior.   But the recent string of sexual misconduct allegations against MPs — several, such as those made against former deputy chief whip Chris Pincher last week, involving claims of sexual assault by men against men — have confirmed what some parliamentary staffers have long warned: that young women aren’t the only group in Westminster at risk of sexual harassment... A University of Carolina study in 2015 found there were more openly gay MPs in Britain than anywhere else in the world. Since then the number of LGBT politicians in the Commons has only increased, a fact widely celebrated by those working there. PinkNews put the number at 56 — out of 650 MPs — in 2020... a “whisper network” of private warnings exists in parallel among male parliamentary staff — just as it does among women — about certain MPs to stay away from in taxis, elevators and elsewhere.  Those in the upper echelons of power are aware of the issue. A Cabinet minister said: “There’s a real problem in Westminster in general — not just in the Conservative Party — around the gay scene. It’s a lot of alcohol and young gay researchers either flirting with or being subject to predatory advances by senior gay men.”  It is well known within staff circles that sexuality can be a decisive factor in the hiring choices of a particular handful of gay MPs, who tend to employ exclusively young gay men.   A former employee of the disgraced ex-MP Imran Ahmad Khan said there was a high turnover of young men in his office, often still in their teens or just graduated from university. One current MP has employed 18 young men for short stints in his office since 2017, according to staff registers, while at least two other MPs are known for similar track records.  This doesn’t break any rules, but multiple current and former staffers say such practices can contribute to an unhealthy working environment... He described a “gay Tory clique” in which younger aides’ lives revolve almost entirely around gay MPs and other staffers working in similar offices.   “All staffers have to follow their MPs around, but this is like they are living and breathing their lives,” he said. “And they are just counting down to Thursdays when everyone gets pissed and goes to ‘Players’” — a reference to a popular late-night drinking den close to Westminster.  Drinking heavily is a “prerequisite” to being part of this scene, said George, the first activist quoted above. As described by these former staffers, such relationships can be mutually beneficial: the MP enjoys having a young “entourage,” while the employees are gaining access to exclusive spaces and making useful contacts.   But, as they point out, the dynamic builds a deeper layer of loyalty which can become problematic if the employee feels they can’t say no to certain requests or expectations — whether it’s spending all hours at work, being subjected to inappropriate behavior, or turning a blind eye when it happens to others.   The Cabinet minister quoted earlier said: “It becomes self-fulfilling. It attracts young gay men to be spads [special advisers] who then aspire to become members of parliament and then you’ve baked this [behavior] into the Westminster bubble for the next 10 years.”"
Presumably, bad lesbian behavior would be even more taboo, because women are victims, but not men

Understanding Victimhood Culture: An Interview with Bradley Campbell and Jason Manning - "The accusations against Weinstein, which deal with clear-cut cases of violence, coercion, and harassment, are understandable in terms of mainstream morality, while the accusation against Ansari is understandable only in terms of victimhood culture.  The same perspective that leads to the labeling of uncomfortable conversations as a kind of aggression, or conservative political speech as violence, leads here to the labeling of boorish behavior on a date as sexual assault. To the extent that the #MeToo movement accords a special status to victims, to the extent that it establishes victimhood solely based on whether someone is a woman or man, and to the extent that it blurs the distinction between serious offenses like what Weinstein has been accused of and the kind of noncoercive sexual advances on a date that Ansari is accused of, it will indeed lead to the spread of victimhood culture. Another thing the Ansari case illustrates is something we have thought of as moral emaciation. Victimhood culture’s focus on oppression narrows the range of moral discourse, and activists seem to be losing the capacity to make moral judgments based on anything other than victimhood terms. It seems that anything activists find bad they define as harmful and oppressive, whether it’s an ugly statue on campus or a bad date. As Mona Charen points out, isn’t what Grace wanted — affection, kindness, attention — what many people want when they go on a date? “What does it say about dating in our time,” she asks, “that those are unrealistic expectations?” The problem is that Grace has no moral language to communicate this. She can’t describe Ansari’s behavior as caddish, lascivious, or any of the other old-fashioned terms that would more accurately capture her moral reaction. Instead, it has to be oppression, assault. This is probably not good for the #MeToo movement, and it may shift attention away from the kinds of offenses the movement was supposed to call attention to. It also doesn’t help anyone to think better about how people should behave on dates. Moral emaciation leads to moral confusion."

Russell Brand and the crisis of scepticism - "should we now accept that he is a rapist?... I do not want to live in a society where a man can be branded a rapist by accusation alone. That way tyranny lies. Without the guardrail of the presumption of innocence, without the democratic requirement of proving someone’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt before we mark him a ‘criminal’ and banish him from the public eye, society would descend into chaos. Lives and reputations might be destroyed by the mere point of a finger. Indeed, in the #MeToo era, numerous men had their lives utterly upended by allegations made from the pulpit of the mass media, far outside the bounds of normal justice. ‘Is the accuser always holy now?’, John Proctor famously asks in Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Terrifyingly, the modern West’s answer to that question seems to be ‘Yes’. ‘Believe women’ was the slogan of #MeToo. It sounded like a feminist cry, but in truth it chipped away at every pillar of justice. Of course women who make accusations of sexual assault should be treated seriously. That includes the women confronting Brand. But instant belief, the uncritical treatment of allegation as truth, betrays the scepticism that is essential to justice. That scepticism is best embodied in the presumption of innocence, which implicitly encourages us to doubt, at some level, the word of the accuser. Until such a time as we have weighed up the evidence, of course. It is bizarre that Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird has become the literary moral anchor of the modern West, and yet its core cry – that it is wrong to rush to judgement even in cases of alleged rape – has been lost to history. Scepticism does not mean thinking that accusers are liars. It certainly doesn’t mean dismissing them as handmaidens of ‘the regime’, doing the bidding of The Man for clout or cash, as some of Brand’s online army are saying of the women making allegations against him. It simply means reserving judgement until all the evidence has been presented and tested to its limits. There’s a reason criminal trials are weighted in favour of the defendant and against the prosecution – why defendants are presumed innocent, can remain silent and must have their guilt demonstrated beyond reasonable doubt... society values freedom so highly that it decided, over time, to make it very difficult indeed to suspend someone’s freedom, even where they are accused of a crime... where there is a dearth of democratic scepticism in the ‘Believe women’ lobby, there’s been a warping of scepticism among Brand’s followers and in the broader ‘anti-regime’ set... Numerous men have been the subject of #MeToo-style accusations, including men who have all the ‘correct’ opinions. Harvey Weinstein was a full-on Democrat... Instant belief is a problem – but so is instant disbelief."

Kristie (Kathy/Jane Doe 2) on X - "When the Billy Graham rule goes too far – a man refused to ride an elevator with me. He said he'd wait for the next one. I rode the elevator alone, humiliated, remembering my body is dangerous to men. If you can't take an elevator ride with a woman, the problem isn't her body."
Clearly, respecting that women live their lives in terror from what men will do to them and taking steps to assauge their concerns (as feminists keep demanding) means you're a misogynist

Meme - Failures Of Feminism: "Women asked men to leave them alone, to not approach them because it's scary and unwanted. Wish fulfilled, now quit complaining."
"r/PetPeeves
Men that don't acknowledge women in a group
I don't know if this happens to other women. When I'm in a group of men and another man walks up to say hi, he will go around fist bumping every single man in the group and skip over me even if we make direct eye contact. They'll even fist bump dudes that they've never met before. For whatever reason they always exclude the women from their greetings. It's rude as fuck and I don't understand why men are like that.
Edit: and before anyone can be like "well did you introduce yourself or try to fist bump him?" WHY would I think to do that if he's literally going in a circle shaking hands/fist bumping everyone chronologically from left to right?
Another edit: this isn't just about fist bumps or initiating physical contact with a woman. Y'all do realize you can just say hello, correct?"

#MeToo Will Not Survive Unless We Recognize Toxic Femininity - "Raise your hand if you’ve ever behaved badly and blamed it on your period.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever acted helpless in the face of an unpleasant-if-not-physically-demanding task like dealing with a wild animal that’s gotten inside the house.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever coerced a man into sex even though he didn’t seem to really want it.  Raise your hand if you’ve thought you were at liberty to do this coercing because men “always want it” and should feel lucky any time they get it.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever threatened to harm yourself if a man breaks up with you or doesn’t want to see you anymore.  Raise your hand if you’ve been physically abusive with a male partner, knowing you’d be unlikely to face any legal consequences.  Raise your hand if you’ve lied about being on birth control, or faked a pregnancy scare, to see how a man would respond.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever manipulated a divorce or child custody dispute in your favor by falsely insinuating that a man has been abusive toward you or your child... We hear all too much about toxic masculinity, that amorphous term that refers to the way traits like aggression and emotional repression are baked into male social norms. It also frequently shows up in online feminism as lazy shorthand for registering disapproval of just about anything men do at all. But when are we going to grant equal rights to women and admit that toxic femininity also exists and can be just as poisonous?... In a free society, everyone, regardless of gender, or any other identification, is free to be a manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally destructive asshole. So I'm not sure why men have been getting all the credit lately.  The #BelieveWomen memes that have arisen in the wake of #MeToo in general, and the Brett Kavanaugh saga in particular, are coming from a place of empathy and good intentions. But they're also stripping women of our complications and contradictions, and therefore our humanity... #BelieveWomen, with its suggestion that women are some monolithic entity that is inherently more moral, innocent, or trustworthy than men, is not just reductive but insulting. Women are not simple, guileless creatures to whom only the most innocent motives should ever be ascribed. Both sexes contain multitudes. Or, as George Carlin put it, "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."... the thing about growing older is that over the years, you run into more and more people and see all the different kinds of havoc they can wreak. I know men who, amid contentious divorce proceedings, have been accused, preposterously, of spousal and child abuse. I know women who are so skilled in the dark art of gaslighting that the targets of their mind games, be it boyfriends or BFFs, don't stand a chance. Once, while working with high school students, I overheard some girls joking to one another about how they were going to go out that night and "hit on older guys who don't know we're underage and later be like 'Dude, you're a pedophile.'"  I decided to give the girls the benefit of the doubt and assume they were just goofing around, condemning misogynist stereotypes about young women as jailbait by ironically reclaiming those stereotypes. Along the way, I tried to think like a good feminist and consider that patriarchal societies foster or even force this kind of manipulative female behavior because it's often the only power available to women.  But that's an excuse and a poor one. Some women act abominably because some people act abominably. The famous line "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people" has been popping up on bumper stickers and T-shirts since the 1980s. But in 2018, many feminists seem illogically invested in the idea that women operate under a different set of standards and practices than men and might, in fact, be something rather separate from "people."... when men speak up about what it's like to be accused of sexual misconduct — or just navigate the sexual arena in general — the only culturally sanctioned response is to paint them as entitled whiners at best and narcissistic and, of course, toxic sociopaths at worst."

rajvi on X - "I was talking to a female friend and she was telling me how lonely it is for her to be working with only men in her team because they all maintain a respectful distance from her as they dont want to come off as creeps, not realising it’s completely isolating."
Steve Cramer on X - "At work I completely avoid women. I can tell they want to talk to me. But I don't even look at them. The work environment feels hostile. I used to talk to women all the time at work. I no longer feel comfortable. If they wanna talk they have to come to me."

JK Schu on X - "Had an argument with a female union shop steward who fuckin cried. Company accused me of work place violence and union threatened witnesses to the incident. It was an interesting last 4 years of my career."
Steve Cramer on X - "I've learned there is 0 point to argue with women especially where I make my money."
Drew 🏴‍☠️ on X - "Ive been lied on abt SA at two diff jobs by women who were mad I wouldnt fuck them. So yeah I avoid women at the workplace now. Totally scarred"

Hillary Clinton: Bill's Affair With Lewinsky Was Not an Abuse of Power - "Hillary Clinton said on CBS that her husband, former President Bill Clinton, should "absolutely not" have resigned in the wake of the Monica Lewinsky scandal... Clinton said she didn't think her husband's affair with Lewinsky, which began in 1995 when Lewinsky was a 22-year-old White House intern, was an abuse of power, arguing that Lewinsky was an adult at the time... She then changed the subject to President Donald Trump"
#MeToo is only important when it benefits you politically
Weird. Nowadays we're told that age gap relationships are evidence of grooming and pedophilia

Political Differences in American Reports of Sexual Harassment and Assault - "Political ideology has been linked to beliefs regarding sexual harassment and assault (SH&A). Using data from the January 2018 Stop Street Sexual Harassment online poll (N = 2,009), this study examined associations of political identity and political ideology with self-reported experiences of being the victim of SH&A. SH&A experiences were coded into four mutually exclusive groups: none, non-physically aggressive harassment, physically aggressive harassment, or sexual assault. Sex-stratified logistic regression models assessed associations of interest, adjusting for participant demographics. Among women, more conservative political ideology was negatively associated with reports of sexual assault, odds ratio (OR) = 0.85, 95% confidence interval (CI) = [0.74, 0.98]. Among males, more conservative political ideology was negatively associated with reports of physically aggressive sexual harassment (OR = 0.85, 95% CI = [0.73, 0.98]), and greater Republican affiliation was negatively associated with reports of sexual assault (OR = 0.82, 95% CI = [0.68, 0.99]). Conservative and Republican women and men are thus less likely to report more severe forms of SH&A, which may explain differences in beliefs on these issues. Research is needed to determine if political differences are due to reporting biases or differential vulnerabilities."
Or: liberals engage in behavior which encourages sexual victimisation

Actor Kevin Spacey breaks down in tears as he is found not guilty of sexual offence charges by London jury - "Spacey was one of the highest profile men accused of sexual misconduct during the #MeToo movement in 2017.  The two-time Oscar winner said his world "exploded" when BuzzFeed News published an article alleging he behaved inappropriately on the set of his Netflix drama House of Cards. He was also accused of making an unwanted sexual advance on actor Anthony Rapp, who claimed he was just 14 at the time.  Rapp took Spacey to court in a civil trial in New York last year, but a jury found the actor not liable for battery.   When he gave evidence in his London trial, Spacey tearfully told the court that the allegations against him have destroyed his career.   "There was a rush to judgment," he said. "Before the first question was asked or answered, I lost my job, I lost my reputation, I lost everything, in a matter of days." Spacey and his legal team insisted that while he may have been "promiscuous", he has never assaulted anyone.   "It's not a crime to like sex, even if you're famous and it's not a crime to have sex, even if you're famous, and it's not a crime to have casual sex," his lawyer Patrick Gibbs told the jury.   "And it's not a crime to have sex with someone of the same sex because it's 2023 not 1823.""

BBC Radio 4 - Best of Today, Sacked CBI boss claims reputation 'destroyed' - "'‘The second one [complaint] was my use of Instagram and during the pandemic and beyond I viewed the stories and profiles of a very small number of CBS staff. Men and women who have public Instagram profiles, not private ones. Public, so they broadcast to the world…  the third thing was this supposed barrage of messages that was raised with me. Which was that I sent people, junior staff, loads of messages on teams very often talking about non-work stuff. And they're right. I have on teams messaged probably 200 people to say Hi, how are you? How was your weekend? Show me pictures of your dogs or your babies. And so what's happened here obviously is that some people have received these messages and gone this is totally inappropriate. And they haven't realized that I've been doing this to everyone to try and build rapport. And the fourth one I was accused of and was mentioned again in my dismissal letter was inviting junior staff, in this case junior females to breakfast or lunch or coffee outside of the office. And I did. Junior staff, female and male, I invited them to coffees and breakfasts and lunches across the road from the office to talk about their career as part of a mentoring program... the CBI knew about all these things and never once raised them with me as a disciplinary issue until suddenly they all became grounds for immediate dismissal"
Women complain that men don't want to interact with women in the office nowadays after #MeToo. Clearly men need to risk being sacked for sexual harassment even if they're mentoring both male and female staff

Oscar nominees speak to Today - Best of Today - Podcast en iVoox - "‘She says there are so many men, actual documented men this film could have been based on, but instead it puts a woman in the role but gives her all the attributes of those men. That feels anti-woman’
‘She's entitled to her opinion absolutely but it's a meditation on power and power is genderless’"
Treating women as real people who are fallible is anti-woman

Students have nothing to fear from sex - "University is no longer a place of drunken nights, sexual promiscuity and embarrassed mornings after. According to the headlines, sex is not a priority for today’s university students, who are either too nervous about doing it wrong or not interested in trying at all... Just 10 per cent of students said they expected to cop off in freshers’ week. Forty-three per cent arrived at university with no sexual experience, and 25 per cent had never kissed anyone at all. Perhaps because of low expectations in the bedroom, 58 per cent of students said they prioritised making friends over finding sexual partners, and a lowly nine per cent actually succeeded in getting lucky in the first few weeks of university.  But while those of us who had a wild time at university might feel baffled at the conservatism of a new generation, it is the second part of the HEPI report that is most depressing. According to the findings, ‘a majority of students think it should be compulsory to pass a sexual-consent assessment before entering higher education’. The report also shows students moaning about the level of sex education at secondary-school level, with just 27 per cent agreeing that they were provided with ‘a comprehensive understanding of sexual consent’. This nervousness runs contrary to the fact that 59 per cent reported that they personally felt ‘very confident about what constitutes sexual consent’.  In short, the report’s findings seem to show a kind of defensive performance of prudishness among students, with many highlighting the importance of learning about sexual consent, despite having no desire to put this education into practice. Of course, agreeing with the necessity of mandatory consent classes has become a way of signalling that you are on the ‘right side’ of the discussion.   Drunken sex has become a particular concern for this generation. Only 30 per cent of students told HEPI that they felt confident about negotiating sexual consent while drunk. Perhaps it would be more honest to admit that the vast majority of students will at some point make mistakes when it comes to drunken sex – whether that’s doing the walk of shame coated in regret or hurting someone’s feelings. Most sensible young people don’t need training to understand the difference between what is abusive and what is a normal part of sexual experimentation.  The other context for these findings is the decade-long panic over sexual harassment and rape culture at universities. This panic has in part been caused by fearmongering studies by the NUS and student groups. Hidden Marks, an infamous NUS report from 2011, claimed that a majority of women had experienced abuse on campus and that a third of female students felt unsafe at night. This was ascertained by asking 2,058 self-selecting female students. Two years later, a report from the University of Sussex’s gender-studies department – That’s What She Said claimed that 50 per cent of students reported ‘laddism’ and a ‘culture of harassment’ at their universities. This was based on interviews with just 40 women students across the UK. The experiences of a handful of women, couched in hyperbole about harassment and abuse, were turned into lurid headlines about a supposed epidemic of sexual harassment and abuse on campus... the truth is that university remains one of the safest spaces – literally – for women and men to explore their sexual freedom. A fixation on the risks of sex has ended up plaguing a younger generation with fears about whether or not they will have the right kind of experience.  What no one seems willing to admit is that mistakes and mishaps are part and parcel of any adult experience – especially intimate relationships... The best kind of sex is spontaneous, unregulated and fun. What we learn by informal means of socialisation, of trial and error, is often more important than what we’re told in formal settings."

Thread by @Evie_Magazine on Thread Reader App – Thread Reader App - "Did you know that 53% of single men don't approach women because they're scared of coming off as "creepy"?  This means that single women are going to have to step up their game and make the first move... Now, before you say that's not the traditional way to date, women back in the day used to do a little thing called "dropping the hanky."  They would drop their handkerchief near a man they were interested in, he'd pick it up, bring it over to her, and then start a conversation. It was their way of "masterminding" the first move while still letting the man be the one to initiate. So here are 8 ways to make the first move on a guy (without actually making the first move 😉):
1. Find ways to be around him
2. Smile when you catch his eye
3. Give him a compliment
4. Take interest in him and ask questions
5. Find something you have in common
6. Create an excuse to give him your number
7. Allow "accidental" touching
8. Don't play games"

Naomi Wu 机械妖姬 on Twitter - "Literally, just buy men a beer. My straight friends got it from me because used to do it when talking to interesting startup/engineering types and I don't want them to get weird. It completely changes the dynamic. It sucks the prey drive right out of them and they stand there wondering what the catch is or if you're going to traffic their organs. Men who get free beer are gracious, well behaved- and when you make your exit, they got a free beer out of it and it's fine. They lost no face, suffered no embarrassment- a woman bought them a beer! They're on top of the world! Inverting the usual power dynamic is 100% worth the cost.
Loving some of the RTs and replies on this ranging from: "Do not allow men to consume alcohol in your presence, they will all murder you" To "All women are evil and a woman suggesting buying men a beer to initiate conversation rather than expecting them to is proof of this"  So sad I'm both gay and live someplace where men and women seem to openly despise each other less. Real broken up about that. Seem to have an awesome thing going for yourselves over there👍"

blog comments powered by Disqus