Not rejected by iFunny (that I know of), but long enough to be posted in all its glory:
Ladies! Nip Tumescence in the Bud... with the SEXUAL TEMPERANCE SPOON. Guaranteed to soften even the most optimistic ardour!
SCHOOL nurses have known for centuries that a sharp blow from a cold spoon is the best way to tame an unwelcome erection. Now at last, these spoons are available to the public if you finished with all that nonsense twenty years ago, but it still raises its ugly head, then and this spoon is for YOU!
ONE WHACK AND IT'S ON THE SLACK!
Stop it before he starts!
Made in Sheffield from finest quality stainless steel, the Sexual Temperance Spoon is kept nice and cold in its own miniature chilling cabinet. Measuring only 6ins x 6ins x 10ins, the cabinet fits easily on the bed-side table, ready for any nocturnal emergency.
“My hubby got ideas one night after watching ‘Carry On Camping’. A quick flick with the Temperance Spoon sent him scampering to the spare room with his tail between his legs thanks!”
Mrs. R Barnsley“It’s a SPOON!” Mrs. B Essex
It's the only spoon that STOPS stirring!
only £24.99 from all good shops
Please note: Extremely turgid erections may require more than one whack on the lid.
'Down, Boy' Chastity Products. Unit 6. Fulchester Industrial Estate. Leeds