Friday, September 08, 2023

Links - 8th September 2023 (2 - Masculinity)

The Gathering Resistance to the Stigmatisation of Masculinity - "clashes between parents and the educational establishment are no longer relegated to the fringe. When parents discover, for instance, that a school is making their sons face their female peers and apologise on behalf of their sex for crimes of which they are personally innocent, they are understandably angry and are finding ways to express their anger in various online and media fora. In this way, awareness of the systematic stigmatization of masculinity is growing...   Over the past few decades, the teaching profession has become increasingly gender-imbalanced—75.8 percent of teachers in the UK and 75 percent of teachers in the US are female. This in itself is not an issue—these positive traits, the problem is the imbalance between these and the traditionally male ones. The issue arises when normal male traits are disparaged. In schools, rough-and-tumble is discouraged in favour of nurturing and compassion—there is little room for the kind of boyish exploration and adventure celebrated in Ken Jolivet’s Brilliant Bob books. In today’s schools, wrote David French in the National Review, “we love the Earth, we don’t conquer it.” This general sentiment is shared by Christina Hoff Sommers, who argued in a short video for Prager University, that “being a normal boy is a serious liability in today’s classroom.” Little patience exists for the kind of male disorganisation and restlessness that just two decades ago would have been understood as a normal part of growing up. Quoting psychologist Michael Thompson, Sommers concludes, “girl behaviour is the gold standard in schools, boys are treated like defective girls.”"

Ariarne Titmus Olympic coach celebration: American fans accuse Dean Boxall of 'toxic masculinity'
Only women are allowed to celebrate victory

Changing masculinities in East Asian pop culture - "Pan-East Asian soft masculinity has its roots in the Confucian tradition of scholar masculinity shared by many East Asian cultures, such as the wen (literary attainment) masculinity in China or seonbi (scholar-officials) masculinity in Korean history. The talented scholar is physically weak, delicate and handsome, with androgynous beauty. He is desirable to women by dint of his knowledge and literary gifts.  At the same time, the current popularity of these images of masculine beauty also reflects the influence of the metrosexual trend from the West. This indicates that masculinity has become increasingly pluralistic and hybridised in a rapidly globalising East Asia.  One conspicuous example of the transnational flow of male images in East Asia is the spread of otaku culture... The ‘softness’ of Pan-East Asian soft masculinity also lies in its more sensitive and caring attitude toward women. The ‘Herbivore Man’ (sōshoku danshi) in Japan and South Korea, and ‘Warm Man’ (nuan nan) in China are all in line with this type of sensitive new guy.  The term Herbivore Man and its counterpart, ‘Carnivorous Woman,’ were first coined by the Japanese author Maki Fukasawa and became known through Megumi Ushikubo’s popular book The Herbivorous Ladylike Men: A Change in Japan. This new type of man is arguably a rebellion against the ideal salaryman masculinity of postwar Japan. They are less ambitious and are ‘harmless’ for women because they always display an understanding of women and their feelings."

Barack Obama Calls Out Rappers For Their Toxic Masculinity: 'You Seem Stressed'
Racist!

Becoming a Man - "There are commonalities of human behavior that extend beyond any geographic or cultural boundary. Every known society has a sexual division of labor – many facets of which are ubiquitous the world over. Some activities are universally considered to be primarily, or exclusively, the responsibility of men, such as hunting large mammals, metalworking, and warfare. Other activities, such as caregiving, cooking, and preparing vegetable foods, are nearly always considered primarily the responsibility of women...   The recognition that hunting is a predominately male behavior is widespread across cultures. In fact, this association is not unique to humans. In the volume Chimpanzees and Human Evolution (2017), anthropologists Brian Wood and Ian Gilby write that, “Among all primates that regularly hunt vertebrates, including chimpanzees, baboons, and capuchins, males hunt more frequently than females.” Yet hunting among human populations is not solely an extension of a biological inclination found predominately among males; it is a behavior that is often deeply infused with social meaning...   The world over, there is a sense that manhood is precarious; that it is something that must be earned over time, yet can quickly be taken away... A great warrior, a great man, is discerning – not needlessly hostile nor chronically deferential, he instead recognizes the responsibilities of both defending, and caring for, his friends and family...   Terrence Real and bell hooks, like many other feminist writers, are very critical of phrases such as “be a man” or “man up,” arguing that these sort of statements impose rigid gender norms and unreasonable standards on young boys. I’d like to propose an explanation for why these kinds of comments exist in the first place.  As anthropologist David G. Gilmore notes in Manhood in the Making, exhortations such as “be a man” are common across societies throughout the world. Such remarks represent the recognition that being a man came with a set of duties and responsibilities. If men failed to stay cool under pressure in the midst of hunting or warfare, and thus failed to provide for, or protect, their families and allies, this would have been devastating to their societies.  Throughout our evolutionary history, the cultures that had a sexual division of labor, and socialized males to help provide for and protect the group, would have had a better chance at survival, and would have outcompeted those societies that failed to instill such values... some common components of the traditional, idealized masculine identity I describe here may continue to be useful in the modern era, such as providing essential resources for the next generation of children, solving social conflicts, cultivating useful, practical skills, and obtaining socially valuable knowledge. Obviously, these traits are not, and need not be, restricted to men. But when it comes to teaching the next generation of young males what socially responsible masculinity looks like, it might be worth keeping these historical contributions in mind. Not as a standard that one should necessarily feel unduly pressured by, but as a set of productive goals and aspirations that can aid in personal development and social enrichment."

Meryl Streep on Big Little Lies: 'Toxic masculinity? Women can be pretty toxic too' - "Streep also makes the point that the series even has a post-MeToo message. We should not only focus on toxic masculinity, she warned, “because women can be pretty f------ toxic. It’s toxic people”."

It’s masculinity to the rescue - "When a knife-wielding killer went on a bloody rampage through the streets of Sydney, Australia, this week, he was stopped in his tracks by a group of courageous men using just a milk crate and a chair... We always are quick to point to the dark side of masculinity when violence is committed, but too often we overlook the feats of bravery by men who combat it... in the new era of “toxic masculinity,” young men are taught to ignore their heroic instincts and learn to be weak. They are instructed always to be on guard against the monster within.Shaving-products company Gillette’s “toxic masculinity” campaign is a case in point. Whereas the razor maker used to celebrate the bond between fathers and sons, its new woke advertising is all about showcasing bad male behavior — such travesties as men standing behind BBQs or little boys roughhousing. This demonization of intrinsic maleness is part of a feminist movement to rewrite human history as the tale of tyrannical patriarchy. It quickly mutated out of the #MeToo campaign, which began as a reasonable get-square with powerful men who preyed on women but since has taken on a frighteningly punitive air.Now masculinity itself is the enemy and must be crushed from its earliest manifestations.Boys and young men are bombarded with messages pathologizing their DNA. If they look at a woman, they’re accused of leering. If they open a door for a woman, they’re sexist. Even the way they sit on the subway has been criminalized as “manspreading.”The American Psychological Association formalized the new pathology earlier this year by declaring “traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful.” The male attributes it fingered as most worrisome were: stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, aggression, anti-femininity, achievement, “eschewal of the appearance of weakness,” adventure, risk and violence.Gimme a break! Without any of that, all you’re left with is a soy boy with whom no self-respecting woman would want to mate.This is the paradox of human attraction. Evolutionary psychologists have found that women instinctively desire a mate who can protect her and their offspring"

WhatATwist on Twitter: "Man expresses loneliness = incel
Man expresses enthusiasm = creep
Man expesses anger = toxic
Man expresses sadness = weak
Man shares any feelings that isn't happiness = emotional load
Man shares no feelings = emotional drain
Your messages are a traffic light dysfunctioning"

Men Don’t Need Tampons. They Need Fathers - "The idea that anything can be rewritten — whether the past or present — demonstrates that the secular world has no stability. What sanctity do our values hold when they seem to change every five years? In just the last decade, we’ve gone from “girl boss” to gender-exclusionary phrases like “the future is female” to “boys can be girls.”... A sound father figure isn’t something I thought about my son lacking until he expressed a biological need to be around other men around the age of 7. I notice the same patterns in the sons of friends who are also divorced. While each child is unique, each child did suffer in some way from not having a man around.  It’s no secret that many boys today aren’t getting enough time around men. Instead they have celebrity substitutes like Jordan B. Peterson, Ben Shapiro, and BAP. Although their messages have drawn an audience of young men, it’s no substitute for their real fathers. Around this time, I also took my experience in Islamist extremism into extremism across other ideologies. There is one common denominator between young men who joined an extremist ideology: there was a conflict in the home centered on the absence of a strong, grounded male presence. Typically, either the father contributed to an environment of trauma or the father was missing, which is its own trauma... We just passed International Men’s Day on November 19, which would have been a wonderful opportunity to discuss manhood. Instead the ACLU celebrated International Men’s Day with a campaign on how “men who get their periods are men.” Newsweek ran an article about International Men’s Day on mental health, but completely ignored the opportunity to a have a real conversation. Instead they curated conversations about discrimination related to race and sexual identity, self-care, depression, and how it’s socially acceptable to wear pink. That was it.It’s got to be hard being a man today. Your entire identity is systematically being scrubbed from existence. You’re repeatedly told you’re not good enough, punished for not conforming, and gaslighted into believing you are a distortion of your true nature"

Meme - "The Stop Assuming Gender Crowd Loves to See Little Boys Get Their Nails Painted or Dressed Like Girls. When's the Last Time You Saw Them Demand Little Girls Go Outside to Cut Grass? Or Go to the Barber Shop for a Haircut? You Haven't. & You Won't. Because It's Not About Gender Neutrality It's About Dismantling Manhood"

Unofficial Artist formally known as Diversity and Comics Yaboiposting - Posts - "The newest photos from The Boys Can Be Princesses Too Project are here!"
"I’ve noticed a trend that the only time young boys get positive reinforcement from society is when they do girly things. The feminist’s “you had your chance” mantra, it’s meant to hurt rich adult men, but it’s usually the youngest and forgotten most hurt by it. If you’re inundated with a media that’s constantly saying how terrible men are and great girls are, and the only time women don’t look down at you is when you’re wearing a dress, you can’t be too surprised boys are embracing this trash"
So much for toxic masculinity not meaning masculinity is toxic

Judith on Twitter - "Feminism doesn't care about toxic femininity, nor does it care to talk about positive masculinity because its goal isn't fairness, it's to paint men and masculinity as social issues that only feminism can correct. Like good conmen, they invented an issue to sell you the solution."

New Hollywood Reporter Cover Celebrates “Triumph of the Beta Male” - "from the #MeToo movement, to commercials, to culture in general, young men appear to be being indoctrinated with the idea that being weak and effeminate will help them get ahead in life and relationships.Combined with constant lecturing that they need to keep their “toxic masculinity” in check, this has led to a dramatic loss of confidence amongst young men and the rise of sub-cultures where some are giving up on women entirely.A recent survey found that almost 25% of US millennial men think that merely asking a woman to go for a drink is a form of sexual harassment.However, whenever women are asked if they prefer stereotypically “beta men” or alpha men, they almost always choose alpha men. Women are also more likely to be attracted to masculine men during the fertile part of their ovulation cycle."

For-show female empowerment & gender fluidity are simply the latest instruments of corporate capitalism (By Slavoj Zizek) - "Let’s face it: sexuality as such involves a certain degree of self-objectification. For example, when I engaged in sexual activity, when I embrace a naked person that I love, I abstract (and that is the imminent logic of sexuality) from all the nasty things that are part of the human body – bad odors, remains of dirt etc. I minimally idealize, in a way, the other’s body. Without this, we approach de-sexualization.In spite of all the talk about free sexuality liberated from binary heterosexual restraints, what we are basically dealing with here is an attack on sexuality as such... [to] claim that sexual difference is just one among the oppressive constructs of those in power and that we should playfully engage in multiple sexual identities, that it is just a game, and that everything is open and that if we just get rid of the binary heterosexual oppression we will enjoy full free sexuality, is a great mistake. It obliterates the basic lesson of Freudian psychoanalysis, which is that sexuality in itself is something pretty dark... What many people do not accept is that the problem is not objectification as such – it is not the whole game of sexual seduction, flirting of men and women - it’s that, in some sense, you precisely objectify yourself as you want to present yourself as seductive. The problem is not that there should be no objectification – the problem is that each sexual agent should have the right to control his/her/their objectification... I often detect in these transgender new identities something that I do not like. It is that as once heterosexual standards were imposed oppressing other identities, now, if you read all these texts, in some of them you find the idea that if you are still within the traditional heterosexual sexuality you are somehow retarded. To be truly free, you have to play with your identity and blur all the lines.I do not agree with this. This idea of freely rearranging, changing your body and playing with identities is something that perfectly fits today’s consumerist capitalism with its infinite dynamics. There is a chance that big companies are already playing these games. Probably some of our readers remember a Gillette ad from about a half a year ago, where a father helps his ex-daughter, who is now a boy, to shave herself for the first time with Gillette. There is absolutely nothing subversive in this ‘play with different identities, experiment with yourself’ attitude. It is simply a perfect form of sexuality for the late consumerist capitalism... this type of struggle for free sexual identities is something that can easily be used as a part of capitalist machinery to oppress more dangerous popular demands, even and especially the authentic feminist protests... As it is always the case, the establishment tries to redirect this awakening in such a direction that it will not really change power relations. We will get a quota for women, women will be presented in the media more respectfully. But the same power relations will persist in our society. That is what all these fighters against patriarchy do not often get.In the developed West, the ruling ideology is no longer a patriarchy. It is a kind of false openness which also functions as a way to avoid radical mobilization and radical solutions. When we are focused on whether a woman can wear a beard or a man can put on lipstick, no one wants to talk about the continuing terrifying oppression of women, of the exploding rape culture in  Mexico and South Africa. Let’s focus on the struggles in which the real freedom of people will be decided."

Occupy Democrats Logic - Posts - "Men who don't wear jackets in cold weather do so with the express intent of intimidating women and to make women feel like lesser beings. If you see a man who is not wearing a jacket when you're cold, then call out his toxic masculinity. #ToxicMasculinity"

Professional Privilege Checkers Inc. - Posts - "What are some social norms related to masculinity that are total nonsense?"
"That women get a say on what it means to be masculine."

Exposing Feminism 2.0 - Posts - "Men's suicide rates are far higher than that of women in almost every country. #WhyMenNeedABreak"
"This is the suicide gender paradox. Women often have more suicidal thoughts than men, but men commit suicide more frequently. Moreover, mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are more common in women than in men. Why do men die more then? Because of toxic masculinity."
"If the genders were swapped, she'd probably say that women die more because of the oppressive patriarchy.
When men have issues, it's their own fault.
When women have issues, it's society's fault."
The amazing motivated reasoning of feminism
Amazing. Twitter decided her tweet violated their rules

Lisa Britton on Twitter - "We’re telling girls they are perfect just the way they are, that they can do anything and the future is female! Meanwhile... We’re teaching boys they are inherently bad, they should be ashamed of their masculinity and the future is female! Don’t you see something wrong here?"

Firms urged to crack down on office football chat - "Chat about football or cricket in the workplace should be curtailed, a management body has warned.Chartered Management Institute head Ann Francke said sports banter can exclude women and lead to laddish behaviour such as chat about sexual conquests... Ms Francke is concerned that discussing football and, for example, the merits of video assistant refereeing (VAR) can disproportionately exclude women and divide offices... "It would be so, so negative to tell people not to talk about sport because girls don't like it or women don't like it, that's far more divisive."She said the secret was to discuss sport in an inclusive way and to notice if people were blankly "staring into space" during the conversation. A majority of people responding to a LinkedIn post from the BBC and on Twitter appear to agree with Ms Oatley.Former sports, gambling, charities and loneliness minister Tracey Crouch called the Chartered Management Institute's advice "a load of nonsense"... Office manager Debra Smyth worries that other topics such as Love Island, EastEnders and Game of Thrones could also be censored if sport chatter is banned. "I personally think companies should not dictate what people talk about, as not talking about it will alienate those with similar interests," she said."Where would it end? Banning people with children talking about them so as not to alienate people without children. Certainly not!""
Of course, cracking down on celebrity gossip, shopping or makeup chat would be misognistic and a war on women
Naturally, we are still told there is no war on masculinity
I thought "stereotypes" were bad?

Martin Firrell | socialart.work - "When men hold power they abuse it"
"All men are dangerous"
Of course, I doubt the police will open a hate crime investigation despite their rules

My boyfriend’s wedding dress unveiled my own shortcomings over masculinity - "I found myself unexpectedly uneasy with his new fondness for feminine frocks – a reaction that challenged the progressive ideals I’d prided myself on for decades. I’d long thought I was contributing to a progressive shift in how we define masculinity, finally allowing men to be emotional and vulnerable, or to ask for help, or to hug their male friends … or to wear dresses."
This suggests that feminism can be seen as a shit test

Millennial men need to man up - "Modern feminism spends a lot of time attacking toxic masculinity. And this attack, which often turns into an attack on traditional gender roles, is having serious consequences. It is leading to the churning out of insecure, non-competitive men, who can’t seem to manage basic life skills. It also means that trying to find an interesting person to connect with, let alone a life partner, is becoming more and more of a challenge with Generation Woke.Accusing someone of toxic masculinity has become a way to denigrate any man who doesn’t comply with the modern demands of feminism. It’s a term that can be used almost indiscriminately... What’s odd about the obsession with toxic masculinity is that very few men today actually showcase any of its characteristics. As Forbes reported in 2017, millennial men are redefining masculinity, with fewer than a third of 18- to 29-year-old men claiming to feel ‘completely masculine’. The alpha male is a rarely spotted animal in 2019.But whether millennial men feel at ease with their masculinity is less important than whether we are accelerating into a society which demonises the very characteristics we are born with. Western culture has shifted from welcoming home brave 20-year-old men who have risked their lives in war to celebrating guys who have decided to wear pink hats on a Women’s March. The cultural attack on masculinity is widespread, too, having made its way into education, the workplace and even romantic relationships. Trying to date in a culture that denigrates so many traditional masculine acts, from holding a door open for a woman to paying on the first date, is becoming increasingly challenging. It’s even creating an environment where men are reluctant to talk about things for fear of being accused of mansplaining. Instead, men increasingly seem to be happy riding in the backseat. I, along with many of my female peers, have had my fair share of first/last dates where guys seem to be content with still having their parents pay their bills well into their 20s. Many can’t seem to manage basic tasks of ‘adulting’, like cooking a simple meal or doing their own laundry. I can’t speak for all women, but I would think most are hoping to be someone’s partner, not his mother. I want someone to challenge my ideas and thoughts, not constantly agree with them out of fear of offending me. I want a man to be able to support my career as I could his, while also playing an equal part in our home life. If I fail at something, I want someone to be honest about my shortcomings instead of preaching about the systemic barriers I may face as a woman, just to show how woke he is... If we keep this up, we’ll be cultivating a generation of painfully insecure men who revel in their incompetence. For the sake of the future, I’m urging millennial men to ignore the false messages, grow up and man up."

Stop Lying About Our Sons - "I never thought we would reach a point where it was commonplace to hear social commentators, journalists and presidential candidates awfulize boys and men — our fathers, brothers, husbands and sons — simply because they are male. There were always those fringe women’s studies professors and radical feminists who made their living by hating on men but I couldn’t have imagined that such ugliness would infect the public discourse and be lauded as brave, let alone enlightened."

Dear Men Who Write Articles About How Women Should Behave — Please, Stop
SPOING! It's only okay for women to tell men how to behave

Thread by @TellYourSonThis - "The reason men are so obsessed with achievement is because nobody gives a fuck about men
Including the majority of men
The closest thing you can get as a man to being cared about, is being cared about because you're useful
Implicit to the role of provider is not being loved for who you are, but what you can do.
True love is very rare.
Most people are just using each other out of practicality.
Many people don't even believe in true love.
Some dudes who follow me would give me flak for saying true love.
"No such thing" "soulmate myth" "Disney bullshit"
But I don't care.
I do believe people can like one another deeply for impractical reasons. It's just improbable.
Men have no inherent value.
Women and children are valued simply for existing
This is why boyhood to manhood is an especially rough transition for males.
Because they're no longer loved simply for existing.
Their worthiness must be proved, or they're nothing. And no one cares
If you want to bitch about being a sex object
Try being a success object
At least people actually give a fuck about your existence
You are not defined by what you can do, but by who you are as a person
You are infinitely more humanised
You dont know what it is to be nothing.
Women preserve their value, men create it.
This is why the average woman is more valuable than the average man.
Especially in a society which favours women over men.
And this is why the feminist arguments that focus on inequality are trash.
They only focus on the winners.
Women, in their infinite desire to upgrade, are blind to the men beneath them, and obsessed with the men above them.
This translates politically as demanding special privileges for women in general, because a minority of men dominate the majority of positions of power.
Idiotic.
And those men sure as shit earned their position, because like I said before, nobody gives a fuck about men.
And so when even the remotest inkling of compassion is linked to one's competence, you will literally breathe to succeed, obsessing over achievement.
Men need love too.
Success isn't a lifestyle choice for men
It's a matter of life and death
It's a lifestyle choice for women
A woman who fails in academia or business can just give up and become a mother
She will still be wanted for who she is
Who is interested in a loser man?
Fucking nobody
So of course men will always outdo women at the high end of society
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO
But the flipside to that is men who don't make it aren't even assigned a base level of compassion or human decency
They are an invisible underclass
And you fucks smugly mock them
I had more shit to say but I can't be fucked to make the thread longer, and I'm sure I've already triggered enough people into calling me a bitter incel now, so I'll leave it there for now hahaha."

blog comments powered by Disqus