"It's a sad state of affairs when you need to use SAF kenging methods to get time off from your Wife
Iirc there was a study that found that men couldn't relax when they were "chilling" with their partner The only time their stress levels went down was when they were chilling alone and Wife was doing housework
Hypothesis: When you are "relaxing" with Wife you need to entertain here and expend cognitive load to engage her topics, most of which you probably are not interested in.
Also have to process the right thing to say to avoid offending her, as well as avoid steering talk down paths of female logic that will lead to suboptimal outcomes (such as putting an idea in her head that will make you do more work)
On the other hand these concerns aren't present when you are with buddies or alone, therefore cognitive load while with partner is high, because it's basically work.
When she has to work on something, you can rest easy because you know she is distracted
i realise i am okay with baby being fussy- the issue is the wife difficulty multiplier that comes with it
women have this strange idea that working a problem means making noise about it"
Referenced study:
Time spent in housework and leisure: Links with parents' physiological recovery from work