"O, my America, my Newfoundland,
My kingdom, safest when with one man mann'd,
My mine of precious stones, my empery ;
How am I blest in thus discovering thee !"
- John Donne
***
Someone sent me a profile on the Transpacific Marriage Agency -Japanese women's marriage agency (because the poses were quite suggestive)
The description is quite funny:
"Since 1994 Transpacific Marriage Agency (TMA) has specialized in introducing Japanese women to Western men for dating, romance, love and marriage. TMA's Japanese women clients are among the most beautiful women on earth, both in appearance and in their supportive attitudes towards men. However, they are not "mail order brides." A Japanese woman cannot be bought "off the shelf" – she needs to be attracted to a man for his own merits, not for his money or the country he lives in."
The ticker text is also hilarious:
"TMA's Japanese lady clients are gentle, kind, supportive, well-educated, slim, clean, feminine, and sincerely seeking lifetime partners." (emphasis mine)
"You never have to meet a TMA woman client without first knowing basic information about her and how she looks."
"Japanese women aren't seeking a man just to get a visa to live in his country."
"Japanese women know how to make a man feel like a man, and they can help you achieve your full potential in life."
"Even though Japanese women treat men like men, they maintain their own womanly dignity, spirit and individual femininity."
"Japanese ladies aren't the meek, obedient and completely subservient "girls in kimono" that some imagine them to be."
"The average Japanese woman has $50,000 in the bank. She is not looking for your money."
"TMA has seen many instances of men who were "below average" who succeeded in spite of initial low expectations."
From the FAQ:
"Please try to avoid photos that make you look intimidating, unfriendly, angry, goofy, depressed, or undignified."
"TMA's registration materials for women are all in Japanese -- imagine the difficulties this creates for scammers, almost all of whom are from outside Japan... Japanese women are not poor. The Japanese as a whole are very honest people. They aren't like the many scammers from Russia and various poor countries. The economic and social conditions that exist in those countries simply are not present in Japan. Our Japanese women join for one reason -- to find a marriage partner. They are not economic basket cases desperate for a Sugar Daddy. There is virtually no possibility that any of our women clients would ever try to scam you."
"Once I meet a lady and we like each other, how long will it take for us to actually get married?" (this is a question)
"I'm over 50, but only want ladies in their 20s and 30s. What are my chances?" (this is a question)
"Why doesn't TMA send me ALL the profiles in my preferred age range instead of sending them in smaller monthly profile sets?"
"Do you think YOUR profile will be more likely to be noticed by our women clients if we send it together with 900 other men's profiles, or if we send it together with 30 other men's profiles?... That is a hopeless system with a high failure rate, and we feel it also disrespects both men and women. It treats people like data entries, with photos, on a hard disk. It's a cold and heartless system, and TMA never used it."
"Why doesn't TMA allow me to search its entire database of women for characteristics like height and weight, etc.?" (this is a question)