Balderdash: N. China - Day 9, Part 1

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

N. China - Day 9, Part 1 - Great Wall (Mutianyu)

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright

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N. China
Day 9 - 7th November - Great Wall (Mutianyu) (Part 1)

Today I woke up early to venture to the Great Wall with Charis. While Badaling was the most popular part of the wall, we decided to go to Mutianyu, a less touristy and restored section.

I had originally intended to go to Simatai, but I kept hearing conflicting reports. Some said it was closed (for redevelopment - someone had bought the land and was building a result) and others not. Others said one could hike past.

While exiting my hostel I had a look at the Hutong it was in.

碾子胡同 (NianZi Hutong) alley

Especially given how dark it was there wasn't much to see.

At the bus station, while waiting for Charis I went to McDonalds.

"Livey Forever
hi, im not here to waist your time and no this ainta
there girl i know that heart thats in your chest it ca grab your waist next thing you know youll have y you do deserve to get down ouve been working ha"

I was very puzzled by this and thought they'd hired a Japanese to write copy, but it turns out that this gibberish comes from the "lyrics" of a song called "I'm Lovin' It", as transcribed on Sogou (whose domain name is somehow sohu)

A bit more digging reveals that it's a badly transcribed Justin Timberlake song of the same name. Presumably they typed "I'm lovin' it" into a search engine (it being McDonald's slogan) and pasted the rubbish they found onto their wall.

My policy when travelling is to, as far as possible, not eat things I can find in my own country. This was why I went to McDonald's, as its menu had the magic word: 猪 (pork).

I ordered a hot plate chicken thigh McMuffin and a REAL sausage McMuffin with egg.

hot plate chicken thigh McMuffin

REAL sausage McMuffin with egg (pork) wrapper, with cute pig on it

REAL sausage McMuffin with egg (pork)
This was much nicer than a 饼 (bing) and anyway the Muffin was a sort of 饼 anyway.

I was in glee and this guy walked past and gave me a strange look. He was probably wondering which destitute province I had come from, it being my first time seeing McDonalds.

The taste was pure and it occured to me that the probably reason why I dislike McDonald's breakfast in Singapore is that the shit faux pork taste in the chicken patty.

Interestingly at the bus station one tout tried to get me to go to Jinshanling and hike. I was surprised, as usually the Chinese don't like to hike.

We took the bus in the direction of Huairou, from which we would take other transport. There was a Singaporean in front of us on the bus who had worked in Beijing for 4 years, and he said he was going there for the third time. The first two times he had turned left, but this time he would go right.

He also said NEVER to let the PRCs know you were foreign, or they would swindle you, and that he told them he was from Fujian.

He said we should get off at Mingzhu and take a taxi. So we did, and he excellently bargained the 17-18km ride down with the driver to 40￥.

Mutianyu plaque

Mutianyu area map

Entrance to Mutianyu wall area

“城石夢華中”
Weird UNESCO sign for "China Stone Museum" (which is definitely not UNESCO listed - I suspected a scam)
At first I had a lot of trouble searching for the middle character. Then I realised that it should be read right to left, and Google finally coughed out results.

Camels you can ride (?!)

The cable car service policy tells them that they can't keep money they pick up, "unify our thought" (maybe this is a Borg reference) and provide a "homy" (homey) and grateful environment
This goes beyond linguistic issues and into cultural territory