"The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection." - Henry Ward Beecher

***

Quotes:

[Student on his weekend: I downloaded music] Ah, tu as... l'activité illégale. Tu as le pirate.

[On going to the Singapore Expo] 'Je suis allée le palais des expositions' [Student: Cos it's so huge] [Student 2: So grand] As you know we use very nice words in French. (au)

Combien de paires de chaussures tu as? [Female student: I cannot count...] La société décadente [Male student: Cinq. Je suis garçon]

Combien de sac est-ce que tu as? [Female student: Dix plus...] [Male student: Une]

[On her weekend] C'est tout? [Student: Non.] Ah. Qu'est-ce que tu as fait? [Student: That's all]

You did lesson 29? [Me: Oui] You finished lesson 29? [Me: Oui] Any questions about lesson 29? [Student: Say yes]

You forgot about it for now. [Student: So it won't be tested...] But a few weeks ago I told you that tests are like women - unpredictable... Take out a piece of paper. For the test.

If you have more than 2 mistakes, je confisque la salade. [Student: *starts eating it*]

I don't care if the guy was bisexual... The guy was cloned.

[On a test submission] 'I like very much the French lady because they are so easy'... What kind of? Are you criticising my country?

[On a test submission] Spanish. 'Interesante!'

[Teacher: Voiture.] I used to be able to pronounce this correctly.

[On 'Mes dernières vacances'] I thought you hated Malaysia. [Me: Precisely. This is why] [Student 2: I wrote the same thing.]

[In French] A. Double P. R. E. N. D. R. E... [In English] Apprendre. [Student: See, isn't that easier?] Are you criticising the teacher, ***? Remember there is a test in a few weeks.

You're early today... [Female Student: Just for you... Like the French... I'm regularly irregular] That's an excellent definition of women. I've never heard a better definition in my life. I will pay you to repeat that.

[Student: Il est sept heures] Deuxième possibilité? [Me: Il est dix-neuf heures] Autres possibilités? [Student: Trick question...] [Female student: Men, always trying to trick] Discrimination.

[Teacher: Il sont assis où?] C'est quelque chose

[Me on 'les seins': I don't know why it's masculin] Because it belongs to men.

[Female student] The French. Very tricky. [Me: And you married one.] I got tricked into marrying one. By the time I found out it was too late.

[On a 10 digit phone number to be transcribed] I only have 0.

Please. 'Qu'est-ce que tu a faire'. No, because... [it] means you are dead. (?)

I'm ***... Not 'girl' [Me: You are the youngest one here] Then call you what, uncle? [Me: How about *** {who is 20 years older than me}?]

[Me: C'est tout?...] You're becoming addicted to my tests.

Madame? [Student: Qui?... It's like calling me 'Auntie'] Auntie, can we start?

[Student on the test: We have to translate?] What do you think you have to do? You give up [on] the test and I do [it] for you?

You are going to be good in bed tomorrow? That's the weather forecast?

[On a wrong expression] You don't know it in French. So you do it in Italian.

[On gender] Africa is a mess. Most likely you don't need to know. You [can] just remember 2 or 3 countries.

[On gender] Mongolia is big. It's one of the biggest countries in Asia. [Student: It's part of China] You say that to the people there. They will come after you.

[On England being feminine but the UK masculine {Great Britain is feminine}] They're not European, and we don't want them to be European. They are American. So you see, it makes sense.

This TV is not working. [Students: Yay.] [Me: On va sortir] [Student: Bonne soirée]

[On a muted video and, perhaps, my ideas] No, she is not a lesbian.