"It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave." - Homer

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Quotes:

You're the only person I know of in Singapore who I can disagree with and not piss off

A lot of what activists do in Singapore is just active civic participation in other places.

Ça va?... Only if you're feeling well, then the class will start. (We will only start the class if you're feeling alright)

[On choosing 1, 10, 100 or 1000] All of you have just declared how many words you want to say in français

[On thinking] In America they go 'err'. In France they go 'uhh'.

Parler... We are 'er' specialists.

Le Pull. This one *points to La Poule* is [a] live chicken. We still want to buy our sweater... We nearly started buying chicken[s] in that shop.

Look at all these good students, seated with their books. Today, we will cross the barrier, and go somewhere else. In our minds.

[On the only girl present] It is very rare at Alliance to have boys dominating... So we will exploit her.

It is better for you to have your break now. Because you are going to conjugate [later]

Un arbre... À droite est un petite maison... Petite means small. It can also mean pretty... I didn't say mini. Petite maison.

[On drawing] Un petit chien, un petite chat... If you cannot use either, here's another option: un petite kangourou... out of the 3, nobody should have a tiger or what.

We have some nice names for dogs. Milou. [Female student: So cute! *squeals*] Midor. Half gold, half wolf.

[On practice] I would like you to label items in your home environment... Find a way. Don't get chased out.

We have all worked very hard. ***, not so hard. Come up.

When you make a mistake about numbers, it's a nice observation, students always miss by 10. (with)

[On referring to the textbook] Le look pastoral... You have the Bible open.

[To me] Your second sentence... You have what we call FSS. Foreign Speech Syndrome.

[Student: J'ai deux voitures bleue. Paul est mon ami] There's a link. I have 2 cars. Paul is my friend. Maybe Paul gave me 1 car.

If you say "J'aime chemise", we will think someone's name is chemise. Hi chemise.

[On repeating a phrase fast] [On a marker] Throw the pen down and sharply say 'I love Classical Music'

[Student: Vous être jolie] Where is the passion?

[Student: Je peux aller des toilettes] You are able to go to the toilet. [Student: I want to go to the toilet]

[Me: J'air dix pomme de terre] You want us to be impressed by that?

***, you will speak English to her. But she will ignore your English and only reply to you in French. This will train your brain to ignore the English.

We ignored this hostile language called English. One will start in English. The other will reply in French. Then one replies in French. Then the other replies in French. It means English has been defeated.

I have a feeling that an ambulance is coming. Someone has been stabbed... he only has a few words left. 'Je. Parle. Français'.

[Student, choosing to initiate the conversation: Why're you so late?] *laughs from everyone* [To the partner:] You give him power [by letting him start]. But at least he went beyond 'hi'.

If you're going to France, you better buy this [eau de toilette]. You better not buy this [eau des toilettes].

In 3 examples you had 3 wrong points of emphasis. Je peux aller aux toilettes. I can go to the toilet. Je peux alles aux toilettes. I can do a lot of things, including going to the toilet. [Student: Can I say 'J'ai besoin aller aux toilettes?'] You already have 3 options, you want a 4th one. Next time just say 'Excusez moi. Les toilettes'

What is the difference between the vécés et des toilettes? We will not go into that now.

[Student: Combien ça fait?] Wow. You were trying to do [it] without looking at the book. [Student: I was looking at the board]

[On introducing self to classmates] Bonjour. [Other student: Bonjour] Au revoir... [Teacher: ***, why don't you start with the girls?]

Cette robe bleue avec ces chaussures? Hum hum. [Teacher: No, not hum hum. Mmm mmm.

[Me in labelling stuff at home in French: I think I'll label stuff in the office] Me too. [Me: Home is for resting]

[Me doing the 'ignore English' exercise: Je ne parle {pas} anglais] Too bad.