Tuesday, April 21, 2009

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

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Interesting information on Romantic Relationships:


Standards for relationships
- ♀ have higher expectations
  • Younger ♀ expect more intimacy than ♂ or older ♀ do
  • Younger married ♀ more lonely than married ♂
- ♀ standards less likely to be met
  • ♂ & ♀ have same expectations
  • ♂’s expectations more likely to be fulfilled
Characteristics desired in a mate
- ♂ & ♀
  • Honesty
  • affection
  • kindness
  • companionship
- ♂
  • Physical attractiveness
- ♀
  • Intelligence
  • occupational status
  • socioeconomic status
  • ambition
- ♂ & ♀ agree more important for ♂ to
  • Have prestigious career
  • Have high-paying job
  • Be athletic
  • Do chores outside the house
- ♂ & ♀ agree more important for ♀ to
  • Be physically attractive
  • Do chores inside the house
Relationship initiation
- More common for ♂ to ask ♀ out on date
  • ♂ use direct strategies to initiate; e.g. asking
  • ♀ use indirect strategies; e.g. hinting
- Dating scripts
  • Conceptualize ♂ role as proactive:  ask for date, decide what to do, driving, kissing
  • Conceptualize ♀  role as reactive:  getting ready, worrying, waiting, accepting/rejecting advances
Intimacy
- ♀ define as self-disclosure
- ♂ define as physical proximity/sex

Love Styles
- score higher on storge and pragma
  • friendship based on interests: Love may take time to develop. Desire a long term relationship based on mutual trust, making a home and raising a family together.
  • shopping for a suitable mate: Wants relationship to work well, partners are compatible and satisfy each other’s basic or practical needs. Relationships based on satisfactory rewards rather than romantic attraction.
- ♂ score higher on ludus
  • game for mutual enjoyment: Love as series of challenges and puzzles to be solved. Date several partners, move in and out of love affairs quickly and easily. Refuse to make long-range plans, wary of emotional intensity from others
Sexuality
- Motives for sex
  • ♂ have recreational attitude
  1. Pleasure, tension release is goal
  2. Relationship not required
  • ♀ have relational attitude
  1. Sex conveys intimacy, love
  2. Relationship integral
  • Older respondents don’t show sex differences
Maintenance strategies
- Wives display more openness, networks & shared tasks
- Best predictor of couple’s commitment is wife assurance
- Wives accommodate to husband’s preferences
- People who score high in expressivity and/or femininity put more effort into relationship

Marital satisfaction
- Gender roles
  • Traditional gender roles -> lowest satisfaction
  • Androgynous -> highest satisfaction, longest relationship
- Power distribution
  • Power differential
  1. Egalitarian most satisfied because of equity
  2. Husband-dominant next most satisfied
  3. Wife-dominant least satisfied
- Characteristics of him but not her
  • Temperament
- Types
  1. Positive temperament = affectionate, excited
  2. Negative temperament = nasty, enraged
- Men’s marital satisfaction tied to own temperament
- Women’s tied to own + husband’s temperament
  • Husband’s emotions affect wife’s emotions (but not vice versa)
Conflict management
- Men
  • Avoid/distract; avoid escalation
  • Coercion, aggression, control tactics
  • Negativity bias:  Interpret lack of loving behavior as hostility
- Women
  • Negativity
  • Positivity bias:  Interpret lack of hostility as love
- Demand/withdraw pattern
  • Wife demands (nags)
  • Husband withdraws
Gay and Lesbian Relationships
- Relationship development
  • Gays emphasize physical characteristics
  • Lesbians emphasize personality characteristics
- Relationship initiation
  • Out of friendship most common
  • Gays place greater emphasis on sexuality
  • Lesbians place greater emphasis on intimacy
- Intimacy and sexuality
  • Lesbian have greater intimacy then heterosexual couples
  • Gays versus heterosexual men
  1. Less faithfulness
  2. More partners
  3. Equal frequency of sex
Reasons for high divorce after cohabitation
- Selection bias
  • Less traditional views of marriage
  • Women more career oriented & financially independent
  • Men less financially successful
  • Poorer communication skills
- Qualitative differences between cohabiting & marriage
  • Less satisfaction w/ relationship
  • Higher rates of domestic & child abuse
  • Lower marriage quality
- Changes in relationship between cohabiting and marriage
  • Division of labor
  • Broadened view of family

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