"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

***

Interesting information on Romantic Relationships:


Standards for relationships
- ♀ have higher expectations

• Younger ♀ expect more intimacy than ♂ or older ♀ do
• Younger married ♀ more lonely than married ♂

- ♀ standards less likely to be met

• ♂ & ♀ have same expectations
• ♂’s expectations more likely to be fulfilled

Characteristics desired in a mate
- ♂ & ♀

• Honesty
• affection
• kindness
• companionship

- ♂

• Physical attractiveness

- ♀

• Intelligence
• occupational status
• socioeconomic status
• ambition

- ♂ & ♀ agree more important for ♂ to

• Have prestigious career
• Have high-paying job
• Be athletic
• Do chores outside the house

- ♂ & ♀ agree more important for ♀ to

• Be physically attractive
• Do chores inside the house

Relationship initiation
- More common for ♂ to ask ♀ out on date

• ♂ use direct strategies to initiate; e.g. asking
• ♀ use indirect strategies; e.g. hinting

- Dating scripts

• Conceptualize ♂ role as proactive:  ask for date, decide what to do, driving, kissing
• Conceptualize ♀  role as reactive:  getting ready, worrying, waiting, accepting/rejecting advances

Intimacy
- ♀ define as self-disclosure
- ♂ define as physical proximity/sex

Love Styles
- score higher on storge and pragma

• friendship based on interests: Love may take time to develop. Desire a long term relationship based on mutual trust, making a home and raising a family together.
• shopping for a suitable mate: Wants relationship to work well, partners are compatible and satisfy each other’s basic or practical needs. Relationships based on satisfactory rewards rather than romantic attraction.

- ♂ score higher on ludus

• game for mutual enjoyment: Love as series of challenges and puzzles to be solved. Date several partners, move in and out of love affairs quickly and easily. Refuse to make long-range plans, wary of emotional intensity from others

Sexuality
- Motives for sex

• ♂ have recreational attitude

1. Pleasure, tension release is goal
2. Relationship not required

• ♀ have relational attitude

1. Sex conveys intimacy, love
2. Relationship integral

• Older respondents don’t show sex differences

Maintenance strategies
- Wives display more openness, networks & shared tasks
- Best predictor of couple’s commitment is wife assurance
- Wives accommodate to husband’s preferences
- People who score high in expressivity and/or femininity put more effort into relationship

Marital satisfaction
- Gender roles

• Traditional gender roles -> lowest satisfaction
• Androgynous -> highest satisfaction, longest relationship

- Power distribution

• Power differential

1. Egalitarian most satisfied because of equity
2. Husband-dominant next most satisfied
3. Wife-dominant least satisfied

- Characteristics of him but not her

• Temperament

- Types

1. Positive temperament = affectionate, excited
2. Negative temperament = nasty, enraged

- Men’s marital satisfaction tied to own temperament
- Women’s tied to own + husband’s temperament

• Husband’s emotions affect wife’s emotions (but not vice versa)

Conflict management
- Men

• Avoid/distract; avoid escalation
• Coercion, aggression, control tactics
• Negativity bias:  Interpret lack of loving behavior as hostility

- Women

• Negativity
• Positivity bias:  Interpret lack of hostility as love

- Demand/withdraw pattern

• Wife demands (nags)
• Husband withdraws

Gay and Lesbian Relationships
- Relationship development

• Gays emphasize physical characteristics
• Lesbians emphasize personality characteristics

- Relationship initiation

• Out of friendship most common
• Gays place greater emphasis on sexuality
• Lesbians place greater emphasis on intimacy

- Intimacy and sexuality

• Lesbian have greater intimacy then heterosexual couples
• Gays versus heterosexual men

1. Less faithfulness
2. More partners
3. Equal frequency of sex

Reasons for high divorce after cohabitation
- Selection bias

• Less traditional views of marriage
• Women more career oriented & financially independent
• Men less financially successful
• Poorer communication skills

- Qualitative differences between cohabiting & marriage

• Less satisfaction w/ relationship
• Higher rates of domestic & child abuse
• Lower marriage quality

- Changes in relationship between cohabiting and marriage

• Division of labor
• Broadened view of family