"Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic." - Ambrose Bierce

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And now for something totally different.. - "So I looked at the competition on W4M and thought, "What the hell, let's give 'em something different..."
Me:
Neurotic
Socially inept
No career or career goals to speak of
Slightly below average intelligence
No interest at all in art, sports, or anything that would make me remotely interesting
Absolutely no sense of humour
Great cleavage
Low standards
You:
Emotionally unstable
Problems with commitment
Devious
Extensive record of infidelity
Arrogant
Extremely skilled in emotional manipulation
Morally bankrupt"
HWMNBN: the girl's description actually sounds a lot like you
­i hope yo uarne't moon lighting

"An Insult to Every Black Man in America" - "Slave owners beat their slaves, says attorney Randall Vogt. Therefore, it's "justified" for black men to beat their sons. Vogt is defending Isaac Cortez Bynum, who beat his 2-year-old son to death, and says he'll use a "post traumatic slave syndrome" defense "in a general way" in Bynum's Beaverton, Ore., murder trial. "If you are African American and you are living in America, you have been impacted," says Joy DeGruy-Leary, assistant professor at Portland State University's Graduate School of Social Work, who originated the slave syndrome theory. The boy's autopsy showed he had been abused over a lengthy period and had suffered brain injury, a broken neck, broken ribs, and scores of whip marks all over his body. When shown the boy's autopsy photos, DeGruy-Leary said the injury pattern "falls in the rubric" of "normal" for descendants of slaves."

Scots BA pilot sues after colleagues tell him: 'Scotland's a welfare state paid for by the English middle classes' - "A Scottish pilot is suing British Airways over claims he was racially abused by his English middle-class colleagues. Captain Douglas Maughan alleges he was sent offensive letters and called a 'Jock' who should go back to Scotland."

Is Accessibility Killing PC Gaming? - "PC games tend to be more about choice and cluster in a good number of complex mechanics. Console games meanwhile aren’t actually dumber as many PC gamers allege, but they do tend to offer more linear and action-based gameplay... The renewed focus on creating deep but accessible game experiences is to my mind the real reason that games are changing and that PC games are often being said to be getting consolified – but there’s a real difference between a poor console port and a game which has been designed to make the best of both worlds... PC games aren’t dying and I hope they never do, though I did admittedly say the same thing back when the word went around that the adventure game genre was being put in its coffin."

What The Hell Is Wrong With Japanese Games? - "Scanning over the usual top RPGs of the western world indicates to me that developers and audiences favour a game where at least some form of cinematic realism is forever in the foreground. Western audiences can accept magic-wielding Dungeoneers it seems, but lose faith when NPCs carry swords bigger than a schoolbus. That 'I-swear-I'm-not-compensating-for-anything-honest' look may work for Sephiroth, but not for Minsc. The opposite seems to be more or less true with Japanese games, where it's fine to have players fighting epic sword battles while crashing motorbikes into each other – that's far above just cinematic realism and well into pure cinema"

True Barbecue - The Great American Cooking Tradition - "Moving forward to nail down what true barbecue is, it's time to look at the regional variations. In Texas we have beef, particularly brisket. In the Carolinas we find pork, either whole hogs or pork shoulder. As you start moving towards Kansas City you find ribs, generally pork ribs but beef isn't unheard of. Out in western Kentucky you find Mutton. The thing all these traditions have in common is low cooking temperatures over a long time with the introduction of smoke to flavor and tenderize. They all start out with tough and unruly cuts of meat and end up with tender, pull apart delicacies."

Octopus survives 5 days on the run - "Five days later, he was spotted by a staff member making a dash for the door... Another octopus named Harry - after Harry Houdini - escaped from the same tank. He was found halfway up a staircase."

Woman batters man with bagel; Mom turns kid's Xbox off, gets taco thrown in face
Why is throwing food at people a criminal offence?!