Sunday, February 08, 2009

"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." - Scott Adams

***

Browing the Craigslist Personals is great for amusement.

After checking out several categories, I have come to the conclusion that "men seeking women" is the funniest category.

Here are some I like (with comments in italics):


*** Beautiful & Busty Escorts Models For You ***

"We provide the finest and elegant female escorts & models that are of the sweetest and of genuine character. All our girls are interviewed and carefully selected for their beauty, intelligence and friendly personality."
What about their bust size?


Serious - 44

"I am seeking a serious relationship with a nice caring and atractive asian woman. I attach my pic because I don't want you to be suprised. Only serious respond and no men.
*picture of hand holding a penis*"
See, that's what you get for posting cock pics


Any one there to acompany me to Taipei to Vancouver - 35 (Vancouver)

"I am looking for longterm woman friend. I am looking now to accompany me to Vancouver from Taipei (Eva air on 8th Feb: 12 night)."
Okay... It seems in his book, 12 nights is "longterm"


AMERICAN WHITE GUY LOOKING TO MARRY A FEMALE - 22 (San Diego, California)

"I am a 22 year old white guy, I am willing to marry a female, you could get American citizenship. Let me know what it is you have to offer... I am a good guy. I have pictures and a myspace but i am not going to post my pictures on craigslist...

I am just trying to help you out. And help myself out at the same time. I was there in Singapor when i was in the navy and loved it. I am out of the navy now. I am kind of hurting to make ends meet right now."
Hey at least he's honest. Though one could argue that if he has to say he's a good guy, he probably isn't. But if he's out of the navy so soon it was probably a dishonorable discharge.


Would that be you - 27 (Singapore, West)

"I like cooking, and I can cook darn well (fyi I'm not gay)... Not very good looking but should be considerable I presume, coz I don't think I am that hideous looking... Love to be around my loved ones as much as possible, so that not 1 moment is lost in memory (by this I do not mean I am a control freak or some psycho). "
Wah, I die liao


Live Like a Queen - 40 (Orchard Road)

"Here's what I am offering. You will live the life of luxury in our Orchard Road Penthouse Condo where you will have your own suite, you will have the use of a chauffeured 7 series BMW during the day, the use of all of my clubs, you will have five thousand dollars ($5000/ month) as spending money each month, you won't spend a cent on anything, and all you have to do is be my companion (with benefits, of course). If things work out well, I can be a very generous person.

The initial arrangement will be for 6 months, and if we get on, we can extend it. But please speak English reasonably well."
Shit, man. Who won't want?! And maybe he had too many bad experiences with PRCs


SWM Tennessee USA Seeking SF - 57 (Tennessee)

"I am looking for the love of my life. Is it you? No scams or games please.
"
I have no idea what this fella is trying to do, with such a short and meaningless ad
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