"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." - Sir Barnett Cocks
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Michael Jackson coverts to Islam changing his name to Mikaeel - "The skint superstar, 50, donned Islamic garb to pledge allegiance to the Koran in a ceremony at a pal’s mansion in Los Angeles, The Sun can reveal."
Joe in Singapore: An American Student in Singapore: Closing Thoughts - "This place really is—in virtually every sense—one giant corporation. The locals will even tell you– they all pretty much know it. It has—truly, in all seriousness—all of the hallmarks of a modern multinational. All of its activities are closely controlled and monitored by smart, if bureaucratic, central management. They test out new projects with pilot programs and evaluate results with Swiss watch precision. There are corporate slogans and marketing jingles and buzz-words that filter down from the top (political leaders) through middle management (schools, the media) to the worker bees (everyone else). The place is fixated on market share and constantly monitors its standings and rankings in various metrics compared with regional competitors like Hong Kong. They even have community racial harmony dialogue meetings, their state-run version of those wonderful corporate “diversity training” seminars we’ve all come to know and love."
YouTube - Destroyed in Seconds- Exploding Cigarette - "See how a giant cigarette spoils "No Smoking Day" in Thailand!"
Smoking is dangerous.
Malaysia outlaws yoga for Muslims - "The Islamic authorities have issued a ruling, known as a fatwa, instructing the country's Muslims to avoid yoga because of its Hindu roots... the council chairman Abdul Shukor Husin said practices like chanting and what he called worshipping were inappropriate and they could "destroy the faith of a Muslim"... Professor Osman Bakar, from Malaysia's Institute of Advanced Islamic Studies: "Islam is a complete way of life. Islam is able to cater to the needs of Muslims; spiritual needs, intellectual needs and other needs, material needs. So there is no need to bring in elements from outside""
Malaysia Boleh! From Fox: "Recently, the council issued an edict banning tomboys, ruling that girls who act like boys violate the tenets of Islam."
Razor-blading every last man in the book - "Chichester District Council, as we reported yesterday, has strongly advised against the use of the phrase "man in the street" lest women be offended by not being in the street too... Perhaps the most famous bungled quotation in history, Neil Armstrong's "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." How would you like future schoolbooks to put that? "That's one small step for me; one giant leap for us"? Sounds more like The Two Ronnies... English lacks the distinction of Latin homo (human) versus vir (person with willy). So from the time of the Lindisfarne Gospels (those bright pages from the Dark Ages, finished by the year 721), we have happily used man to mean "person" (as the Germans do today). Someone will have to go over the illuminated parchment pages with a razor-blade scraping every man out again... If we remake our language, literature risks being misunderstood. So when Hamlet exclaims: "What a piece of work is a man!" Shakespeare is made to sound like a sexist instead of a Renaissance humanist. That is a pity."
One comment: "I have sometimes wondered why they don't go the whole way and call the female of the species a woperson - or perhaps a woeperson!"
Another: "For Lord's sake is there not more important things for council folk to be doing?! Coming to collect my rubbish more than once a fortnight might be a good start!"
Eternal Bachelor: Breakfast-time Misandry - "'So (gormless bitch's name), what do you think is wrong with men in this country?'... 'Well, you know, they take themselves too seriously,' she replied - in an English accent, so she wasn't offering an international view on the subject - 'and they're too caught up in work and the rat-race.'... If you want women's approval, you're out of luck. They're never happy. You're either an immature slacker, or a career-driven git who takes himself too seriously. If you fall into the first category, no woman will marry you. If you fall into the latter category, many will marry you but then divorce you on the grounds that you are who you are. And they'll take all your fucking money, obviously."
Ex-wife given £50,000-a-year maintenance for her three HORSES as part of £1.5m divorce deal - "Lawyers believe the case could break new ground in divorce cases with couples claiming maintenance for their pets as well as themselves and their children... 'During the marriage the horses played a major part in the wife’s life with the consent and encouragement of the husband,' Britain's most senior family judge Sir Mark Potter said... Judge Segal said: 'In any event, the wife does not want a 9-to-5 job, because this would not give her enough time with her horses.'"
The UK: the best jurisdiction in the world to get divorced in! Where infidelity doesn't matter and women can get maintenance for life.
TABLE OF OFFENCES FOR WHICH JUDICIAL CANING IS AVAILABLE IN SINGAPORE
Amsterdam After the Mushroom Ban - ""Paddos now dominate the market for trips, and that has only advantages," says August de Loor, a veteran drugs consultant. "LSD use is down over the last couple of years, and we have seen the concentrations of LSD in a trip decline, because the relatively light paddo has become the norm." Rogier Bos, speaking for the expert body that advised the minister on the issue, agrees. "If these consumers switch back to LSD, public health will suffer.""
Jeff Varasano's NY Pizza Recipe - "This pizza is modeled after Patsy's on 117th street in NYC. I have been working on this for SIX years, but FINALLY I can report that I have achieved my goal. Many people have tried my pie and swear it is not only the best pizza they've ever had, but a clone of the original Patsy's recipe. This margarita pie is incredibly light and perfectly charred. It took just 2 minutes and 10 seconds to bake at 825F."
I'll try this as soon as I get an oven which can reach 441 degrees Celsius
Comics I Don’t Understand
Sachiko McLean: very busty Asian nude model, pianist, singer and belly dancer - "In addition to being a very busty Asian nude model with very long hair and a very hot body (36DD - 21
- 32 "), Sachiko McLean is also a classically trained pianist and singer in English, Mandarin Chinese and Japanese, and a belly dancer as well. She is also an outspoken social and political commentator, and a passionate defender of human and women's rights. That's why she's the thinking man's glamour model."
HWMNBN: "women should hav elonger hair than men
so she should be your ideal woman"
What Happy People Don’t Do - "Happy people spend a lot of time socializing, going to church and reading newspapers — but they don’t spend a lot of time watching television, a new study finds. That’s what unhappy people do."
My Mercs, My Rolex, My 50 boyfriends - "Valentane Huang says she doesn't care what people think, and it's difficult not to believe her. While others may be more circumspect, the 25-year-old Miss Singapore World 2008 finalist coolly reveals that she has had 50 boyfriends. She has been dating for just over 10 years, since she was 14... Her father was aware of all her boyfriends. She said he didn't mind as long as she didn't get pregnant. She said the vast majority of her relationships, many of which lasted three months to half a year, were non-sexual. Most of the men she didn't even allow a kiss on her cheek, she claimed. 'I'm not saying I'm a virgin. I'm just saying I did not have sex with most of them.'"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
US officials flunk test of Amerian history, economics, civics - "US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday. Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI)... "How can political leaders make informed decisions if they don't understand the American experience?" he added."
YouTube - Egyptian "Hulk" Claims God Gave Him Strength of 30,000 Men, 260 Horsepower - "Reporter: This is the "Incredible Hulk" or the Samson of our times. He got married 28 times and has fathered 35 sons and daughters. The eldest, Sameh, is 24 years old, while the youngest, Sayyed, is only three. Medical tests have proven that his strength equals 260 horsepower. He can bend a metal coin with his eye socket or his tongue. Then he breaks it in two with his bare hands. Sayyed Muhammad Ahmad Abdallah is a gifted man. Allah has bestowed upon him great strength, but he uses it only to do good. This is a man on whom Allah has bestowed the strength of 30,000 men, or 260 horsepower. Allah has also blessed him with a faithful and humble heart, as well as good values and self-restraint."
If he can't shake hands without injuring people how come he can have sex?
Unlike Samson he has a shaved head. Maybe I should shave my head too.