Wednesday, April 16, 2008

"A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers." - H. L. Mencken

***

Honey, will you marry... Oh. Never mind... - "Hajji, of Hackney, east London, had concealed a $12,000 engagement ring inside a helium balloon. The idea was that she would pop the balloon as he popped the question. But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring -- and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend -- sailing away over the rooftops... "But I had to tell her the story -- she went absolutely mad. Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring.""
He's better off marrying someone else.

eSnailer - "Q. What is eSnailer? A. Start by addressing the envelope below then write a letter to a friend or relative. We will print, envelope, stamp, and send your letter via regular U.S. postal mail 100% free of charge. You pay nothing!"

Why first-born children have higher IQs - "According to new research due to be published this week in the journal Intelligence, the oldest children in families are likely to have the highest IQs, and the youngest the lowest. The research is based on more than 1,000 children whose IQ was tested through childhood and adolescence up to the age of 18. The Dutch study shows a birth-order effect on intelligence in each of the tests. Overall, the IQ of the first-born child was higher than the second-born, which, in turn, was greater than that of children who had two or more older siblings. This is only the latest research to suggest that the order of birth can have a fundamental effect on diverse factors, ranging from the risk of cancer, asthma and eczema, to weight and even premature death."

Shock confession of maths prodigy Sufiah Yusof who turned to life of vice - ""Guys are much better in bed with an escort than a girlfriend. I have men who are thrilled about my passion for mathematics. In fact one made me recite equations while he pleasured me, then I gave him oral sex while he chatted about algebra. It drove him wild."... "I have a nice life and I am in control," she says. "I hate this stereotype society has of escorts being exploited. It is so far from the truth."
The next bit is even better:

myAsylum: Sufiah: Black Magic Woman? - "'Based on discussion with Islamic medical practitioners and several divine guidance, we are convinced that Sufiah is under the influence of black magic. For that reason, a delegation from Malaysia headed by Ustaz Trimizi Zainal will depart Malaysia on 19th April to treat Sufiah using Islamic Medical practice. Ustaz Trimizi Insha'Allah will be in UK for 1 month and Insha'Allah he will treat Sufiah for the whole of the duration.'... Unless these morons plan to abduct Sufiah, Rambo-style, to some undisclosed location to carry out their "exorcism" treatment. Abducting somebody on religious grounds may be (almost) acceptable in Malaysia, but certainly not in the UK."
From the website: 'Assalamu alaikum, A team of Islamic medical practitioners will be arriving in the UK sometime this month, Insha'Allah. They will be organising mobile clinics at locations throughout UK. Treatment will only be limited to those who have been affected by jinn and black magic. Question and answer sessions on sihir will be held prior to any treatment session. The discussion will include a short video footage on one of Ustaz Trimizi previous sessions, evidence of sihir in Islam, current efforts to promote Islamic medical practice to the west etc. Modern medicine do not have the answers to every disease especially those relating to "paranormal" factors.' Malaysia Boleh!

World's top 20 tourist attractions include a few surprises - "Would you be surprised to learn, as I was, that nine of the world's 20 most visited tourist attractions are in the United States? That eight of these premier worldwide sites are theme parks? Or that such culturally significant destinations as fabled Angkor Wat, Machu Picchu and Petra aren't even on the radar screen for the top 20?"

Lungless 'Jabba' frog offers evolution clue - " Bickford surmised that the frog had evolved to adapt to its difficult surroundings, in which it has to navigate cold, fast-moving streams that are rich in oxygen. "It's an extreme adaptation that was probably brought about by these fast-moving streams," Bickford said, adding that it probably needed to reduce its buoyancy in order to keep from being swept down the mountainous rivers."
And now we have another missing link!

A life to die for - "IT is a job many men would die for. The job description - flirt, party, and drink with beautiful women on a full-time basis - may be enough to make some draft a resignation letter from their current job. The pay? Over six-figures a year if you're an above-average worker. Higher if you're really good at it, putting you on the same pay scale as some CEOs. And this doesn't include the gifts you receive from satisfied clients, which can include luxury cars, and even property. The best part? No experience or educational qualifications are required. On paper, working as a male host in one of Japan's host clubs seems like a dream job... While some hosutos are known to offer sex as part of their 'service', many in the industry frown on the practice. This is based more on economics than moral principle, though. Once a host sleeps with a client, she has no reason to patronise the club any more."

J.K. Rowling Tries Not to Cry in Court, Calls Potter Encyclopedia 'Theft' - "J.K. Rowling says the Harry Potter characters she created are as dear as her children, too precious to allow an inferior Potter encyclopedia to be published without letting the world know the ordeal is draining her of her will to write... She also said she recently started work on her own encyclopedia but does not expect to complete it for two to three years. If Vander Ark's lexicon is published, "I'm not at all convinced that I would have the will or the heart to continue with my encyclopedia," she said. The case caused her to stop working on a new novel, as well, she told the packed courtroom."
Boo hoo. Let's all buy a Harry Potter lunchbox, or she will lose the will and the heart to continue with more works.

Female millionaires set to rise - "Women are set to represent more than half of Britain's millionaires by 2020, according to a UK think tank. High divorce payouts and longer lives will mean 53% of millionaires will be women, says the Centre for Economics and Business Research."
Add the number of wives of millionaires and it's clear that women are doing very well out of 'patriarchy' indeed.

Fainting Fireman Sues to Get Job Back - "A firefighter fired for fainting is suing the city of Saratoga Springs. Nathaniel King lost his job with the city fire department in December when he failed to complete newly required paramedic training, according to a lawsuit filed against the city in state Supreme Court in Saratoga County. Now he's suing to get his job back and for back pay. The problem is, needles are his nemesis. During paramedic training, King fainted dead away every time he had to give an injection or start an intravenous line."

The Smell Test - Weird News Story Archive - "Alan Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation of Chicago wants to know what odors turn people on. He has been subjecting volunteers to various odors while measuring genital blood flow to gauge their sexual arousal. Hirsch says women are turned off by cherries, barbequed meat, and men’s cologne. Like men, women are apparently aroused by the smell of lavender and pumpkin pie, and also cucumbers and baby powder. But the most arousal in women was elicited by the odor of Good ’n’ Plenty candy."

Open Source Living - "Open Source Living is a community-driven dynamic archive of Open Source software spanning all major platforms. Through a simple, elegant and efficient presentation of resources and information, OS Living aims to highlight small and large OSS projects, to inform and raise awareness to OS ethics, and to reinforce the credibility of OSS as a viable alternative to corporate funded, closed source software."

High-Speed Chase: Supersonic Sheep Impresses Police Pursuers - "If sheep had Olympic Games, this one would be a gold medalist. A runaway sheep chased by police in northern Germany reached speeds of 45 kilometers an hour before jumping over the police car."

Center for Bible Engagement - Biblical Engagement - "The lack of biblical literacy in America is at epidemic levels, says Ron Rhodes, President of Reasoning from the Scriptures Ministries. And when he talks about the lack of Bible reading among Americans, he is not talking about the population in general - he is talking about people who call themselves born-again Christians. In an interview with Assist News Service Rhodes quotes a recent poll, which indicates that 35% of born-again Christians do not read the Bible at all. In addition, Rhodes indicates that among those who say they read the Bible, the vast majority only read it during the one hour they attend church each Sunday morning."
Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
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