"I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse." - Charles V

Je parle espagnol à Dieu, italien aux femmes, français aux hommes et allemand à mon cheval.

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Quotes:

What do you mean she doesn't write like a lesbian? [Student 2: All the lesbians I know write well] That's because you were from XXX. A lot of lesbians I knew couldn't string a sentence together.

I'm thinking of all my ex-boyfriends [Me: How many were there?] Not many. Two.

My friend checked her out. You know women check each other out. She was so angry, the China prostitute. She just turned away.

[On Geylang] You know what's the cheapest? $2. The Bangla woman.

Does she have a boyfriend? [Me: Yah] Before or after exchange? Before or after exchange? Before and after exchange are very different things.

[Me: Who is his Lady Love?] ***. So nice right. I also want. [Me: A Lady Love?]

[On the Christian chain of being and things below animals] Below the line you have things of negative value, like people who don't believe in God.

[On one member of the 3000 member IPCC panel] Insofar as he has anything to do with it, you can call him the first Nobel Prize winner in Singapore.

Eating a sweet wrapper can cause an entire forest to be cut down (sweet)

If we are that bad, if we are the thing causing species to go extinct, maybe it's a good thing if we go extinct.

If we do become exist from our doing (extinct)

[On development vs conservation] If you start to feed the poor people, they're going to demand more and more. You don't want that.

The presentation by XXX would get an A. Not a big A, but not a little A either.

alterations in fore'rer'sers (forests)

This paper is a scientific paper. It had 3000 scientists who likely had nothing better to do.

When you burn your pig swamp (peat)

[On Chinese New Year] In the sort of arm-twisting match this morning, which I lost, we will not have a tutorial next week.

How come people discriminate me? (against me)

Curse of the Golden Lotus (Flower)

[On Jay Chou in 'Curse of the Golden Lotus' (sic)] He acted so well. [Me: *cough*] For a first-timer. And for a costume drama.

If you are a woman of sustance, you will look pretty. You don't need to wear a Chanel.

Q&A, and I asked for the questions beforehand so I can give a satisfied answer (satisfying)

10 years ago, our President, Mr Ong Teng Cheong, who had already passed already (has)

The emergence of Economic man. Or ladies.

There are a lot of im'pee'dee'mernt (impediments)

Full-time wives (housewives)

Someone said she's quite hot. For Econs... [Me: In the land of the blind. What do you think?] No comment. I want to accumulate good Karma in my last semester. [Me: You must say 'Gabriel is nice']

[On tutorials] You can also make nasty questions to your friends. (ask, of)

Our website. Some of your photos are so outdated... Sometimes it would be better not to see your photos. So confusing.

[On combining participation and essay marks] If someone is very disturbing, I sull'tract marks for the essay (disruptive, subtract)

same poo'lease'see prescriptions (policy)

I do not want to impose my view upon you, but I organise the module, so the module is heavily influenced by my views (views, am organising)

[On South Korea in the early 80s] It was prohibited to read Marxian literature. Some students were very curious... They put Marxian literature in the black market... Discussed them in small rooms and restaurants... They were instructed in the view of the government, but many students doubted, so they turned to Marxian literature.

Till the 1970s the North Korean per capita income was actually higher than the South Korean [one]

To be exploited seems to be better than not to be exploited.

[On Xu Rong and the Economics Grad Room] Take out the specs. She looks like those in the other room.

The renowned loo'ver museum (Louvre)

excess sensibility (sensitivity)

Self-control problem. How do you protect yourself from yourself?

[Me: Ethics and the Environment.] That's not an Econs module right. [Me: Where's the ethics in Economics?]

Janice Pear (Peh)

loss adversity (averseness)

[On economics] The moment she starts differentiating, it becomes so difficult. They don't know how to teach differentiation. They should just shut up, and let us go home and figure it out.

[Me: *Expounds theory on frigid girls and chocolate*] What's your major? [Me: Economics] [Student 2: It's a very odd question to ask after that.]

Jackrabbit? That's the one - Alice in Wonderland one.

During exams... We do mindfucking raw. No condoms, baby.

Girls love to go commando. [Student 2: Yes, usually they'll go commando after guys steal their undies]

[On California Girl] It's an ABC Ah Lian accent

Let's play w'year'wolves (werewolves)

Looney New Year eve (Lunar)

When you said 'Sourpuss' I saw this [Sourpuss's] face floating in front of me.

[Me: You orientalise yourself.] I don't. [Someone: You do, dear.] What's wrong with that? I'm Asian. [Me: You're like an Asian in America.]

Gabriel, no one can resist sexually harassing you. [Student 2: For a change.]

Where are you from? Campus Crusade. Are you related to the Priory of Sion?

You know how my parents taught me sex education? 'Here's a book I got you from America'

Long skirts turn on guys. Short skirts turn on guys even more. No skirts turn on all guys. [Female student: Why am I having this conversation with a bunch of guys?] [Student 2: We're in USP. We're having an intellectually stimulating conversation.] [Female student: It's stimulating. I don't know about intellectual.]

[To an Indian:] I always wondered. Is your dick black or white?... [Student 2 on girl behind: Now she knows what guys talk about.]

I have seen many facets of XXX... The block 16 level 2 toilet... [XXX: I've never seen you in my toilet before.] You don't bathe with your glasses, do you? [XXX: Oh shit.]

He said, 'Hi, I'm from Campus Crusade'. I said, 'Hi, I'm from Campus Jihad'. The whole lecture theatre started laughing... A lot of people asked me if they could join.