"'White House'
Obama: ... well first off, that sign's gonna have to go..."
I can't find the original source though.
***
Dilbert: I'm going to a singles' mixer tonight. Do you have any advice?
Dogbert: Don't I always? It's all about knowing what a woman needs. Find a woman who looks hot, carve her out from the herd and read this.
Dilbert: What is it?
Dogbert:It's the ultimate pick up line.
*At mixer*
Dilbert: Um... Hi. Excuse me. 'Criticism completes me'
Woman: (thinking): He's a keeper.