"We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - gunpowder and romantic love." - Andre Maurois

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Quotes:

What does belief mean? *Student walks into room* *Points at student* What does belief mean?

Is *** flat?... I don't notice. [Me: What makes you so sure I notice?] You're a guy.

The last time I can recall being picked up was [by] this ang moh guy. He turned out to be an exchange student in PGP. He asked me to go back to his room and I freaked out and ran away.

Any questions? If there aren't - this is sorta a threat - I'm gonna move on.

[On a cheap Christian trick to deal with diversity] Moral faculties weren't the only thing affected by the Fall... Cognitive faculties were affected by the Fall. So if not for the Fall, everybody would believe that Christianity is true with the same amount of certainty that they believe my hair is red [Ed: It's not]... [Anyone who is redeemed can think properly and realise Christianity is true.] Something similar could be working in any religious tradition that has given it some thought. Even pluralism.

Here's what I wanna see in tutorial. When I walk in I want to see 3 hands shaking in the air waiting to ask me questions, and I haven't seen that for a while.

There's this weird notion, I don't know where it came from, that you can alter your beliefs at will... If I sa to you, 'Form the belief that ***'s shirt is orange'. Nah. Nyah... It seems green. How can it be orange?... You don't become convinced at will... I will damn you to hell if you don't believe that ***'s shirt is orange.

[On only teaching the Right Hand Rule] I don't teach them because most of them are useless, and you just end up memorising more and more rules.

[Student: Professor, are we going to be assessed on the working of these motors?] I haven't even finished the explanation and you're worried about the exam... I will tell you the answer 1 day before the exam... Otherwise this will degenerate into your schoolwork where you only do the minimum.

[On macaroons] Those of you in your group projects [groups] can chew on it and bond.

[On fundraising] Our prof is very nice and always buys stuff to support us. But this doesn't mean you cannot support us also.

[On the welfare survey] Why don't you just write, like, 'change the whole committee'

All of you have seen this TV show called Survivor right... [To a PRC] The latest is Survivor China. You should watch.

Thank you for filling up our in-class survey... We'd like to reward you by [presenting stuff]

[On kebayas] Because of modern ideas, more and more Nonyas don't wear the silk shirts [inside] anymore and just wear their undergarments... Over the years it becomes more and more revealing.

Why is the tree always fellating the Care Bear?... [Me: It's not fellating it. The head is in its mouth.] Yeah, the head. Precisely. [Me: Not that head!]

For the youngs, the Chinese New Year is a joyous occasion (young)

[On calling someone 'Bobbie Jack'] This is just to make the length of our names equal

[On sources for a presentation] We researched on other people's research

[On Thais] They actually gather food from the forest and go fishing. This happens in Woodlands and Boon Lay... It's kinda cute. Sorry, city girl here.

[On Golden Mile complex] The housewife we interviewed recommended that we try the food... But we couldn't go in, because we had no idea what the signboards was talking about (were)

[On a karaoke bar in Golden Mile] This photo was taken by ***. Apparently this was the closest she could go before her eardrums explodes (exploded)

This is different from the dominant form of Buddhism in Singapore, Mahayana Buddhism, which originated in Singapore. [Group mates: China.] *Jiggles body* Smart.

There's generally this conception that Thai monks are more powerful than Singaporean monks.

[On an abbot] He complimented Singapore because he thought we had a very good government - half democracy, half dictatorship... He encouraged us to get married for the good of our nation.

[On Funkygrad's 'Personality' section] It's all girls lah. And the worst thing is we don't even see these girls around.

[Student quoting Funkygrad: 'We found out that abstinence from sex is almost non-existent at the National University of Singapore (NUS).'] Hey, I abstain from sex. I feel the need to declare that. I feel so misrepresented.

[On Arab Street] He saw a need to start cafes selling sheesha and playing very loud Arab music... There were complaints, but they didn't care. They continued playing Arab music so loud everyone along the street could hear.

This gah'r'ih'sh looking shophouse (garish)

They actually opened a pub 20m from the Sultan Mosque, which I find very disturbing... Beer and 'Divine Pleasures'.

In 1994, National Day Parade... They had this float depicting the origins of the races in Singapore. Malays migrated from Java... And the Middle East.

The community is very small and close-knit. When you go for a family function you find you are looking at the whole Arab community.

[On Streetdirectory.com] I'm supposed to take a bus from this place called 'Building is now unoccupied'