"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all." - Woody Allen

***

Quotes:

Your blog is damn hilarious. You're the only person I know who takes picture of girls during lecture and bitch about them (then bitches)

Gabriel, where're you going? [Me: To meet someone.] UD #6? [Me: Go and die lah.] UD #7? [Me: GO AND DIE LAH.]

If you don't get in [to the management committee] you can come to my room later. [Student 2: How about me?!] You're a guy! [Student 2: I thought you're gay.] You're not my type... Then I have to answer to *girlfriend's name*

omg i think most girls in arts are so contemptibly stupid. They giggle a lot and ask stupid questions in *** class

There are some people out there protesting against globalisation. Are they all kooks or could there be some truth to what they are saying?

[Showing the circularity of Applied Maths] We've done the work. Now we back away and see if it says what we wanted it to say.

Did Marie do something wrong? *long silence* I want to know what you think. This is not a rhetorical question.

She had baby fever. She couldn't wait. They're so darn cute and cuddly, she couldn't wait.

[On having a baby when you know it'll be blind if you could wait and have a normal one] It's hypothetical. This is a Philosophy class. You could stick your hand up and say 'I think she was right', but I wouldn't believe you.

[On changing potential lives' possibility of coming into being by means other than waiting a month] You can do all sorts of things. If you jump up and down *jumps* before you... have sex, it changes the position of the sperms and which child you create.

Unless you wanted to say that a life blind would be a life not worth living - which would probably get you into trouble with disability rights activists.

[On an omnibenevolent being being considered good for not violating rights] If I say to you: 'Congratulations, you made it through the day without violating anybody's rights', then I would be being sarcastic.

[On Job and skeptical theism] 'Who are you?'... It goes on like this for 4 chapters or so... What's more amazing is at the end this actually satisfies Job. 'Ok. I get it, I'll shut up'.

[On questions on readings] Remember to give me your questions. Some of them were really good. I hope none of you thought I was going to respond to all of them.

[Student: Out of curiosity, can we know what's your religious inclination?] Erm. Err. Ah. It's not really relevant. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you at the end of the term. You get to guess.

I made a comment that it was a poor article... Like it was written by - no offence - an undergraduate. One girl rose her hand and said 'He's my Geography Professor'. Excellent article!

The only reason I listen to my MP3 player is so that I won't have to look at people on the way to school, and if I see someone remotely familiar I will just ignore them.

I think that's bullshit really. *buries head in hand in embarrassment* A load of crap. *Laughs from students*

[On romanticisation] English undergraduates always go to India for a year doing their gap year. It's disgusting... They come back, 'What a great experience it was'... They like to say all the horrible things [that happened to them]. They repackage it. It sounds so good... The idyllic setting of the kampung: people are unemployed. They have no job.

[On people not raised in kampungs not knowing what they're missing out on] I use MSN. All my friends are online... I ask my parents: 'How do you know your friends are alive?'

Someone explain the concept of a void deck to me. [Me: It's where Malays have weddings and Chinese have funerals.] That's exactly what someone else said.

The joke about Malaysian cats. They're always scruffy and not well fed. Singapore cats are huge.

I live in Chinatown. There's a lot of people sitting there. I go to school and they're sitting there. I come back and they're still sitting theredown. [Instructor: Every now and then you check their pulse to make sure they're still with us.]

[On entertaining tourists] Geylang. For the food, of course.

One thing about Orchard Road... It's more real to you than Chinatown... It's lived-in. Traditional heritage, you guys can't connect with these types of places... the state policies meant to preserver heritage distances it from the people.

[On the Old National Library] A lot of the older generation. They go there to hang out after school, to pick up chicks. (went)

[On not wanting precendents for destroying historical buildings] In England, it's very difficult to do anything, because everything is a protected building... To do any kind of renovation to your room, you need special permits.

'That's the way it works. You can't change anything'... Both from Singaporeans and non-Singaporeans. Non-Singaporeans have this mentality. It's very strange.

[On 'character'] People who live in Rome hate Rome. Especially tourist areas. The roads are historically preserved... 1 1/2 cars at a time... The electricity sucks. You get blackouts every now and then for no reason.

Beijing does not have the best reputation when it comes to - anything.

[On the fading potence of threats] How many of you think that Malaysia is going to invade? Who fears a Communist uprising?

Who here has a positive image of what Singapore's future will be like? Wow. Not even 1 hand. What do they teach you here at NUS? I'm telling on you all.

[On Singaporean apathy] You can't change anything... The more you think about it... The more depressing it is. You just switch off.

small and incre'mittal (incremental)

Why was it so easy to knock down the library? Enough people don't care enough... It's in line with government policy.

There're a lot of intelligent people here... They criticise the government here and do exactly the same thing their government wants them to do.

[On the transience of heritage in Singapore] A lot of it is social engineering. Think of the implications. You depend on the government for your house... The only thing that is not transient is the state... Things are constantly shifting. You have nothing to latch on to.

The Jackrabbit? You don't know what it is? [*** has it,] No wonder *** is always smiling.

*** was wearing a jacket. She zipped it up and said 'Are my boobs big?'... [Female student 2: Her boobs are very saggy.]

[On the sex bible] It's cheaper than my bio textbook... Reminds me of the song 'A Whole New World'.