"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." - Leo J. Burke

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Was Winnie-the-Pooh a Good Muslim?: An application of Muslim Hermeneutics to a Bear of Very Little Brain

"In recent years a growing trend among many Muslims has been to make the claim that Jesus was a ‘good Muslim’.[1] Others have described him as ‘a prophet of Islam’. Their method has been simple: by mining the New Testament Gospels they have sought to show that Jesus fasted, prostrated when he prayed, gave to the poor, and a wide range of other Islamic practices. Some have even tried to claim that Jesus gave instructions about how to conduct oneself when on hajj.

The question we want to address in this short paper is why stop with Jesus? Why not see if one can demonstrate that other famous literary or historical figures were also Muslim? It is in that light that we have settled upon one of the world’s most famous literary figures as a test case; we refer to none other than Winnie-the-Pooh. Literary giant, poet in his own right, screen star, philosopher and hero to millions of children, could it be that the secret of Pooh’s success lay in daily submission to Allah?

The method we will apply to decide whether or not Winnie-the-Pooh was a good Muslim is the same that the likes of Rahman and McElwain have applied to Jesus. We will comb the two major works of sunnat al-ursine that have been transmitted to us for any clues that Pooh held Islamic beliefs or engaged in Islamic practices.[8] If enough examples can be found, then perhaps we can look forward to such works of erudition as The Muslim Pooh, Mysteries of the Bear, or The Gospel of Piglet [Ed: HARAM!] springing forth from the pens of Muslim authors in years to come. Let us now turn to the texts before us...

Allah’s presence in these books is metaphorically symbolised by the figure of Christopher Robin. This kind of metaphorical device has a long tradition in Western literature and the symbolism can be easily demonstrated. Let us begin with the map (WTP, xii-xiii) on which can immediately see that Christopher Robin’s House lies in the East. What stronger clue could this be that the House is none other than the Ka’aba and Christopher Robin symbolic of Allah himself?...

Pooh’s humility is clearly evident on every page. From his favourite epithet (‘I am a Bear of Very Little Brain’) to his willingness to accept correction from Rabbit and his other Companions, his humility is an example to us all. It is also another clue that Winnie-the-Pooh was, indeed, a Muslim...

Not content to give Eeyore a cup of soup, a warm blanket, or even a holiday in the sun, Pooh decided that he would give his friend a house. Whilst we do not know Pooh’s net disposable income, this surely exceeds the 2.5% usually recommended for zakat. In his charitable giving to the poor, Winnie-the-Pooh was not merely a good Muslim, he was an exceptional Muslim...

Stoning is one of the severest penalties in Shar’ia and it is worth asking what it was that caused Pooh to believe that it was his Islamic duty to stone Eeyore. Was Pooh a jihadi attacking the infidel?... When Winnie-the-Pooh discovered the extent of the sin, he dutifully applied Islamic Law and stoned Eeyore. What greater sign could there be of a bear’s devotion to Islam than the willingness to lay down his friend’s life for his beliefs...

The greatest prophet in Pooh’s day was Owl, whose reputation as a person of letters was unequalled in the One Hundred Acre Wood. If we can show that Pooh respected the wisdom of Owl (PBUH), then this demonstrates that Pooh believed in and followed the prophets...

In order to show that Winnie-the-Pooh was a Muslim, we have quoted only those parts of the texts that serve our cause and have ignored those parts which are either of no use or, worse, are counter-productive. Sentences have usually been quoted with no regard as to their surrounding context.

Secondly, at its heart, our hermeneutic is entirely circular. We have assumed that Winnie-the-Pooh was a Muslim and then read that assumption back into the text. Instead of reading the text within its own interpretative framework, we have imposed one from outside. This is not exegesis but eisigesis. Of course every reader brings assumptions with them to any text, but when one’s assumptions entirely drive one’s reading and do not allow the text to speak for itself, then any conclusions derived will be seriously skewed."


Unfortunately these 2 objections apply to all apologetics