"Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it." - Max Frisch

***

Quotes:

There're too many black people there. [Student 2: Racist!] I'm not racist... There's nothing wrong with blacks. But all they do is lie on the streets and rot and harass asian girls.

[Me: All these poets are gay lah] Yah, because how can a straight guy be so brilliant?!

Do they only catch you for downloading music?... Don't download movies from Universal studios... [Student 2: I'm an expert on this. Don't use ***. Use ***. They don't catch people.] Don't download Universal Studios [movies] in NUS. [Tutor: I didn't hear anything]

[The] Indirect test for validity will come out in the exam. It's not like that other things I teach

I like bras. I like to see bra straps. [Me: Is there a punchline?] There's no punchline. it's just something nice to see.

[On our not manually checking results a program outputed] NUS has absolutely failed,with your cooperation, to teach common sense. This was the state of the University 27 years ago, and it is the state of the University now, in my considered opinion... I don't know how it is in other universities. Cambridge, Oxford - maybe it's the same there.

You look at the numbers and you straightaway jump in. You don't think. Maybe due to your primary school training.

[Student: I don't swear... It's in the Bible. Book of James, Chapter 4 I think.] I can't say anything. My knowledge of the Bible is not as good as yours. I will, however, tell a vulgar joke about the Bible. Where in the Bible does it mention constipation? Moses took 2 tablets and went into the wilderness.

the leed content (lead)

When we set an exam paper we have to declare if there's a relation in our class. Then someone else will set the exam paper. Unfortunately that didn't happen to me. I could have saved setting an exam paper.

You can kill the kidnapper but you cannot lie to him. Lying to him has moral implications... 'We're going to let you go'. Then he lets go of the hostage... Either you shoot him and kill him, or you lie to him.

[At 3] We'll break for lunch.

[On faulty bridges etc killing hundreds at a time vs a surgeon killing one] Ethics are more important in Engineering than Medicine. A lot of people don't realise this.

You give this to a person in the English department - they won't find the mistake... Unfortunately English is dynamic. What is wrong with eventually be right... 'Quite fun'?... [Student: It's quite fun to play soccer] No... The plural of sheep is sheep. The plural of goat is goats... [Student 2: *non-soto voce* Fucked up leh] I have learnt Latin. I know the rules.

[On someone having a heart-shaped pattern made of white stones sewn over her butt] USP girls are very perverted... USP guys are even more perverted, but USP girls are more perverted than normal girls.

[On 'straddles', 'strangles', 'strips' and 'straps'] Sounds like names of sex positions.

[On covered calls and protective puts] If you don't understand this, did you do your homework, tutorial by yourself? *Laughs from audience* (tutorials)

Who's that guy? Where does he come from? How come he's on exchange but knows more than half the lecture hall? [Me: When I was on exchange I also knew more than half the lecture hall] That's different. You're Singapore-trained.

[On Barro-Ricardian equivalence] The evidence is quite mixed, but the debate is still going on. Perhaps because some people are quite stubborn.

For some of us T-shirts may actually be consumer durables. You wear the same T-shirt year after year after year.

Here is probably another instance where zee'lerhs economists may have pushed rational expectations just a little bit too far. (zealous)

I was reading your [IVLE] forum posts. You're super well-read huh. [Me: Err. Ok lah. It's what I do instead of doing problem sets.]

[On karma] I'm tempted to make remarks about something in front, but the last time I did that I got an ulcer. (someone)

Going to Bangkok with girls is a recipe for disaster unless you like to shop.

How to define lamb'da? If you're concerned I can give you a textbook but I guess most of you are not very concerned (lambda, interested)

When I first proposed this module they asked me for examples [of the questions I'd set]. I used the names of all the people in the [approval] committee [in my examples]. After that they didn't ask me for any more examples.

Is that book related to what I am teaching? [Student: No] What is so interesting about that book? [Student: Nothing] So you are interested in nothing? It takes all types to make up this world.

[On ethical dilemmas] "There's nothing wrong with calling a woman engineer 'sweetie'." 2 of them [girls] said that. You can call them sweetie. [Female student: But there's nothing wrong] [Male student: Hi sweetie] [Female student: Hi]

[On transitivity] If Siti is the mother of Liwen, and Liwen is the mother of Devi, then Siti cannot be the mother of Devi. Multi-cultural example.

Logic if boring. I'm not sure that it should be in the Philosophy department... Someone asked me: 'I'm not a Philosophy major, why should I take this class?'... I didn't advise you to take this class. For the Philosophy majors, when you read 20th century philosophy. All these complicated arguments. [You can use Logic]

I'll think about it but I think there is something twisted about that argument.

[On a smart econometric trick] Unfortunately, this idea is not mine.

If you have a good suggestion, please tell me. Then I will write a paper.

un're'q'why'turd love (unrequired)

[On Mac users naming their laptops] What's wrong with Mac laptops? Why do they name them? [Me: It's not what's wrong with Mac laptops. It's what's wrong with Mac users.]

[On mobile phone radiation] For me, I don't care. My head was damaged a long time ago in 1973. *writes 'PhD'* Permanent Head Damage.

[On a query about the cancelled lesson] You can come here. I can also come here and we can look at each other.

I have yet to meet a student who doesn't say the workload is too heavy. The students complain the workload is too heavy. The staff complain the workload is too heavy. Everyone complains the workload is too heavy.

[On NTU producing real engineers] When NTU first started, they had to get into the market. They said 'NUS is all the theory. We are the real engineers'... It backfired very badly. All the top students came to NUS... Now the situation has balanced out. They do a lot of research now... Everything has a theory [so theory is important].

[On a 1983 poem about NUS FASS life] 'Lectures, lunch, library and the loo.' Where're you going [in life]? [Student: The loo]

[On an exchange student] All you need to do is breed him with a PRC and then you have a perfect economics machine.

[Me on the worst cheese fries in the world - some fries were undercooked, the rest were not crispy and the sauce was thin and flavourless: Once again, the Gross Gecko disappoints me.] That's why it's grinning. They just cheated your money.

In the exam I'm going to give you an option... The option: 'State the Black-Scholes model.' 5 marks. *Laughs from audience*... Normally I give the formula, so you don't get the 5 points I said. (mentioned)

[On the stats tables] I have seen some students. They open the book for the first time. They go this way *flips book in one direction* Then this way *flips book in other direction*, then they go this way *raises hand*. *Laughs from audience*

If I give you the formula, can you copy it 100% [accurately]?... I find every semester at least 5 students... they drop the square, they drop the minus sign.

The volatility is larger when the exchange is open than when it is closed.

Esprit de l'escalier... Wit of the staircase... [Me: I thought you just upskirted someone]

Everyone hits on you. [Me: Nobody hits on me. Everyone hits {figuratively} me.]

[On Screwed Up Girl and Screwed Up Guy] If anything goes wrong, I'll be one of the most upset people. [Me: Why?] Because it'll start happening again... I'm very stressed.

[Me: What was your Vital Statistic?] 3.6 in Sem 1, 4.2 in Sem 2... [Me: Why?] Because in the first sem I had no idea what I was doing and in the second sem I had no idea what I was doing but I knew how to do it.