Thursday, April 13, 2006

Trip with Jiekai - Part 5
Day 2 - Paris (1/4) - Army Museum, Arc de Triomphe de l'Etoile, Eiffel Tower

supplemented with some of Jiekai's pictures in lieu of mine, which have been lost for eternity due to his cockitude

We then proceeded to the Army Museum, where there was lots of splendid armour. Yet, I've seen so much armour over the years (and there was simply so much in the museum) that it got a bit boring, even though I'm one of the few people who are interested in and care about the difference between the Italian and Gothic styles of armour making.

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Knight on horse

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Armour

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Samurai armour

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Knight on horse

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Maybe a Turkish horse warrior

*Armour related to Louis XIII*
This picture has been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

They had some weird armoured hats (not your typical cavalier helmet, but literally a hat made of iron). And the Islamic-style helmets were called "turban helmets". Damn, I should've guessed.

*Helmets with noses*
Now *these* I have never seen before
This pictures have been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

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Guns

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Lancing armour
I had a better version but it's been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

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Gun detail

For some reason the Hotel des Invalides, built as a lodge for wounded soldiers, had a moat surrounding it. Uhh. Maybe veterans were real unpopular in those days.

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Alexander III bridge. This is a very chio bridge.

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Simon Bolivar - a 19th century terrorist

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We shall never surrender (unlike the French)
Ironic statue found opposite the Grand Palais.

Taking the Metro to the Arc de Triomphe de l'Etoile, we passed Franklin D. Roosevelt station. The damn recorded voice on the Metro, showing an utter lack of respect for the man, pronounced it as "Fwah'klorh Roos Fay" (ie They pronounced his name the French way). When I go back to Singapore I'm going to visit Clement Chow Avenue and Beau Liao Road (Jer Voice Road doesn't count since he wasn't French).

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Arc de Triomphe
They were having a ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier when we arrived, so we had to wait a bit.

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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

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Sculpture at the base of the arch

About this time, Jiekai's camera ran out of batteries. There are thus no pictures of the view from the top of the Arch, of the Eiffel Tower at night, or the view from the Tower itself.

At the top of the Arch there were those telescope things allowing you to look at things far away. Unfortunately they cost an exorbitant €1.

*View from the top of the Arch, with the Basilica of the Sacred Heart in the background*
This picture has been lost for eternity due to his cockitude

*Picture of weird sign at the Arch*
If I recall correctly, among the things banned in/on top of the Arch, there were the usual suspects: smoking, eating and drinking. There were also other weirder ones like listening to loud music (they showed a figure with a stereo on his shoulders) and especially a picture of a figure in what appeared to be swimming trunks. I have no idea why anyone would want to visit the Arch in swimwear.
This picture has been lost for eternity due to his cockitude

Addendum:

Here is a picture of the last from Natalie Tran:


Exiting the arch, we came across many Muslim men selling bric a brac. One had put a radio on the pavement from which Bhangra music was blaring. 3 Disney figurines were dancing to the music (Mickey Mouse, Minnie and one more). I asked the guy how they worked, and if the figurines had batteries, and he said it was the magnets serving as the figurines' feet; I pondered for a while but was unable to see how the music powered the magnets, for surely after a while the magnets would settle into a equilibrium position and the figurines would stop jumping (I highly doubt that a Muslim bric-a-brac hawker on the streets of Paris has discovered the secret of creating a perpetual motion machine). There were also one or two Muslim men selling Ah Beng souvenirs of the Eiffel Tower - picture the Eiffel Tower standing on a base from which a light which rapidly changes colour flashes, and one Muslim man selling those plastic figurines you throw onto a wall which will slowly flip down.

Tired after a long day (it was 7+ and we hadn't had dinner, and weren't until we left the Eiffel Tower), I entered a McDonalds near the arch to recharge on a Coke. Amazingly, even though 10 counters were open, each line had a minimum of 7 people, and everyone queueing up was French. I am so reminded of the hamburger scene in the Pink Panther (2006). Looks like the French farmers need to dump more manure on the streets of Paris.

Queueing up for Eiffel Tower tickets, we were suddenly greeted, at 9pm, with many white lights suddenly flashing in turn all over the surface of the Eiffel Tower, in a display calculated to induce epileptic fits in Parisian children. I then realised how the people selling Ah Beng Eiffel Tower souvenirs had gotten the idea (or maybe it was the reverse). The 1812 overture also came to me, as I was put in the mind of V for Vendetta. Thankfully, the epilepsy-inducing lighting came to an end at 9:15, but unfortunately it was repeated at 10pm, 11pm and midnight. There was also a spotlight circling the city of Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower, like the all-seeing eye of Sauron. The best part was that just before the spotlight hit one building, it would light up first, in a typically French (read: pretentious) manner.

*View from the 2nd floor of the Eiffel tower, with the Basilica of the Sacred Heart in the distance*
This picture has been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

*View from the 2nd floor of the Eiffel tower, of the Champ de Mars*
This picture has been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

Sign at the top of the Eiffel Tower: "The Eiffel Tower is a unique monument. Please respect it. No graffiti please". Of course, it didn't work.

*View from the 3rd floor of the Eiffel tower, with the Triumphal Arch in the top left*
This picture has been lost for eternity due to Jiekai's cockitude

There was a couple French kissing on the top floor of the Eiffel Tower. How romantic.

I managed to get handphone reception on the top of the Eiffel Tower, unlike the Empire State Building. Whee.

Just for kicks, Jiekai and I decided to walk down from the 2nd to the 1st floor of the Eiffel Tower. Along the way, we discovered some cunningly-placed information panels, installed in 1989 (the monument's 100th anniversary), which the spoilt people who take the lift down don't get to see! We also saw a painter mannequin perched on one pylon (gah); even worse was how the bottom of the lifts had a mannequin of a lift operator hanging to the controls.

The restaurant on the first floor of the Eiffel Tower was not as overpriced as I expected it to be. €21.50 got you a 3 course meal. But then again, since you've to pay maybe €3 to ascend just to the first floor in the first place (the third floor costs €11 and the second €7), I doubt people would be happy to be fleeced yet again.

On exiting the Eiffel Tower, we were immediately swarmed with 10 Muslim men selling Ah Beng Eiffel Tower souvenirs. Wah lao. They were really desperate to sell their wares - one halved his initial price after only a short, non-commital line from me.

By the time we exited the Eiffel Tower, it was 11:30 or so. Desperate for food, we went to an Italian restaurant ("Iolanda") near the Tower, which was surprisingly alright. They had a bottle of wine on the table - "Tavernello Merlot", billed as the "#1 brand in Italy" (yeah right).

The restaurant cunningly used one of those half past six pseudo-cloth napkins - too thick to be thin paper napkins that are easily tearable, yet not of good enough quality to be reused and rewashed (with sufficient strength, they can be torn). Their cheap tricks don't work on me, hah! I'm not sure why restaurants use them - maybe it's to give a touch of class without the expense of real cloth napkins that can be washed.

At 12:30pm, cafes near the hostel were still making fresh crepes. What a wonderful city.

I did a very stupid thing at the hostel - I stuck a wet sock over the opening of a hair dryer and turned it on. Luckily it worked again the next day. Maybe it was a lousy hairdryer - 2/4 of the power sockets in our room didn't work, and the shower stall door couldn't close properly.


The Paris metro is even more complicated than the Tube, since it also intersects with the RER (suburban train lines).

At one newsstand there was a big poster advertising a porn magazine, and token Xs covered the areolae of the models (they were not big enough to hide all of the brown, however). I didn't think porn was advertised so openly elsewhere in the world outside of Amsterdam's red light district and pseudo-red light district (I would later find a nearly as brazen display in Vienna). Gotta love these Europeans.

Smoking in French is "Fumeur" "fumer". How appropriate.

There's a lot of focus, in Paris, about the period from 1789-1815 (ie the Revolutionary and Napoleonic periods). They seem ashamed of the Ancien Régime, and the long string of French defeats (eg 1871).

Vending machines in some Metro stations sold their drinks for less than in others (€1.50 for 500ml of Pepsi or Pepsi Max, instead of €1.80). This was very odd, since the ones I looked at were all of the same type and maintained by the same company. I've never seen such obvious price discrimination.


Cock files:

- He walked past the entrance of the Conciergerie
- He played with the telescope on the 2nd floor of the Eiffel Tower, swinging it around as he made machine-gun noises
- He paranoidly refused to talk to any strangers (even one who came up to us and asked if we needed any help and might not have been after alcohol money). He also got agitated when I talked to one of the Ah Beng Eiffel Tower souvenir merchants. He obviously thought they would beat me up if I didn't buy their wares, sub-machine gun toting gendarmes patrolling the base of the Eiffel Tower notwithstanding. Either that or call down a whole gang to ass-rape him. I should get him one of those tinfoil hats.
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