Trip with Jiekai - Part 12
Day 6 - Vienna (5/4)

In the morning, to forestall footrot I got 100g of powder (baby, the only type they had) from a pharmacy at a princely sum of €1,59. Gah.


Frontage of Imperial Apartments, Hofburg Palace


Roman foundations


The stallions of the Spanish Riding School train

At the Spanish Riding School, we saw the riders on their stallions, all carrying riding crops. I want to hit someone with a riding crop one day, preferably Jiekai since he's so cock.

The horses just trotted and cantered around the ring. How can people stand 2 hours of this, with almost no variation?! I thought we'd see some jumping, at least, or maybe the horses trotting 6 abreast. The most we saw in 45 minutes was one doing a low gallop, but moving at the speed of a trot; the synchronised hat removals of the riders; the equine equivalent of jogging on the spot; a horse trotting diagonally and a horse dancing - alternating between its forward right and rear left legs and the forward left and rear right legs. Then agian, this was only morning exercise rather than being a show itself. Bah. And maybe it livened up after we left. The best time to see the show is probably then in the last 1/2 hour.

We then went to see the Imperial Silver Collection, where lots of table gold, silver and porcelain was kept. It was overwhelming to say the least, even for those with an interest in tableware - especially considering most of it was sold off in the past.

The next stop was the Sissi museum. Now, I remembered from my 1998 trip that the Austrians had an obsession with Sissi - one of their last empresses who died in 1898. This time, I realised that it was because she was very screwed up. Her life was like a soap opera, and she was very queer - she had her last photo taken at 32, and her last portrait from life made at 41. Why? Because she wanted to be remembered as a young woman (... women). She washed her ankle-length hair with egg yolk and cognac (that's something to try next time), and was also reclusive, hiding her face from people. To top it all off, she died in a dramatic fashion, when an anarchist drove a file into her breast in Geneva.

She wrote lots of angsty poetry, which together with her eccentricity makes her sound like a Raffles Guy. Jiekai said if she had been born in the 20th century she'd have become one.

"Sighing, from my weary head I remove the crown,
Of how many good hours the staff of ceremony has robbed me today!"
- Court ball, 1887

Wikisource has more examples of her delightful poetry, but unfortunately it's all in German. I should've copied more down at the museum.

Meanwhile Jiekai's explanation for the Austrian obsession with her was much simpler: "chiobu". He also remarked that it's ironic that in the 21st century, girls call themselves Princess on their MSN nicks, while real princesses (empress, really, but the principle is the same) complained all the time.

In the museum there was her death mask, which for some reason was made of clay. Bah, the only death masks worth having are those made of precious metals or semi-precious stones. She also had a lot of very pretty dresses, even the black ones. Or especially the black ones.

The Imperial Apartments were nice, but nothing can compare to Versailles. No photography was allowed (bah). They really should wake up their idea, since it's so cheap to just fly to Versailles, where they allow photography.


Audience Chamber
There weren't any security people roaming around, and I was encouraged by another snapper.


Franz Josef's Study
The psycho woke up at 5am (4am?) everyday and slept on an iron bed.


Fountain at the side of Michaelplatz - the prudish Austrians gave the figure a fig leaf. Uhh.


Josefplatz


St Augustine's Church

I tried to find Herzgruftel, where the hearts of the Hapsburgs are stored, but couldn't find it on the Hofburg location map, and neither was the street it was on. I asked people in the area, but got conflicting directions so in the end I gave up.


Heldenplatz
Pictures can't quite capture the expanse and the feeling of standing in this place, carparks notwithstanding


Maria Theresa monument
For some reason, all the monuments in Vienna are tarnished and dirty, and some of the buildings are dirty as well.


Kunst History Museum


Cute.

After that, we went to Schönbrunn palace. Ditto about Versailles. A lot of material was repeated (eg How Joseph II persuaded his brother-in-law Louis XVI to undergo an operation to end his childlessness), which was probably why a combination ticket for it, Hofburg Palace and the Imperial Furniture Collection (wth would want to see that?!) was sold.


I was upset at paying €0.30 (€0.35?) to use this toilet, but this automation amused me.


Schönbrunn Gardens Pool


Boulevard


'Roman' Ruins


An example of a tree with Cotton Balls on it


Palace from the top of the hill


Gloriette


Pool

The gardens were not as massive as Versailles's, but in some ways I preferred them, due to the running water and the less pretentious sculptures, and probably also because the sculptures had more colour (1999 storm be damned, perhaps).

There was also the Schönbrunn zoo, the oldest in the world, but due to lack of time and money we didn't go in.

For dinner, since Jiekai insisted that we let him use up one of his Vienna Card vouchers, we went to the Gulashmuseum so he could get a glass of schnapps. There, we learnt that the first three questions you should ask before sitting down at a restaurant are: "Is there a cover charge?" (it was €3,80 for both of us), "Do you serve tap water?" and "Do you accept credit cards?". Other than that, it was alright since the food was good. I had horse goulash, the underlying flavour of the meat of which I found hard to tell due to the flavour of the goulash - it was a generic red meat taste. At the end of the meal I tried to fill my bottle at the tap, but the basin was too small, so the place was still thumbing its nose at me.

We then went to watch another concert.


Große Solisten 5
Leif Ove Andsnes, Klavier
Robert Schumann: Vier Klavierstücke, op. 32
Bent Sørensen: Shadows of silence
Ludwig van Beethoven: Sonate für Klavier As-Dur, op. 110
Modest Mussorgskij: Bilder einer Ausstellung
The bugger played the same 4 pieces throughout a whole year: the program was exactly the same in Chicago and Amsterdam (after the Vienna concert).

The Musikverein is very subtle in its "no handphones" message - you just hear a loud ring played over the PA system at the start of the concert.

€4 tickets were available for this as well, but I didn't think my feet could stand it after a whole day of walking. In any event, I didn't see anyone standing - they probably all sat down on entering the place.

As I expected, the Bent Sørensen piece was horrible. I don't think Leif Ove Andsnes liked it that much either - he needed a lady to sit beside him and flip the pages of the score for him (he must not have liked it enough to practise it a lot, but included it as the token "cheem" piece to impress critics). I think he hummed a la Glenn Gould during parts of the piece, which improved the piece somewhat (but then I don't see how the song could've been made any worse). During the piece there was also a lot of coughing - the most coughing of either of the two Vienese concerts I went to. I assume this meant they didn't like it either. I was much happier when the Beethoven came on.

Pictures at an Exhibition was played well (except for the Great Gate at Kiev, which sounded messy, but this is what happens when you make a piano do a full orchestra's work), but I much prefer Ravel's orchestral transcription. A piano, no matter how well played, can never produce as rich and varied a sound as an orchestra: the brightness and clarion quality of trumpets, the sense of volume when more instruments are brought into the picture, the light touch of clarinets and some percussion instrument I can't identify, the little flourishes for which 2 hands are not enough, the change in tone when the melody goes from the strings to the brass to unison and back again, the roll of drums and tonnes more besides. The work needs and indeed deserves this. Incidentally, the piece is an example of how you can convey emotion (and probably incorporate some cute musical tricks) *while* being aesthetically pleasing, so it reflects on people's laziness if they do the former without considering the latter - even Baba Yaga's hut is alright after a while, since there's some method to the madness.

I think I'd prefer more modular concerts (more shorter ones). In that way it's easier to listen to what you really want without having to buy a whole package, it's good for those with shorter attention spans (mine's not that long) and marginal utility will not diminish so fast.

I don't know why people like to leave concerts before they end. Then they miss the encores - Leif Ove Andsnes was incredibly generous and gave 3 (I don't know what the first 2 were, since his voice didn't carry as well as his music, but the first sounded Romantic, the second Classical and the third was Traumerei, the first part of which was a bit fast for my liking).


I should've gone to Paris before I turned 18, then admission to everything would've been free.

They have Mozart Manner Schnitten (flavoured wafers) also. Wth.

The Netherlands, Paris, Vienna, Munich and Nuremburg (probably the rest of Europe too) are all quite dog friendly. People bring them onto public transport, into most shopping centres etc. Practically, only the shops in the Muslim Quarter (Lombok) in Utrecht have "no dogs" signs on their windows.

For some reason I had a strong urge to shout "Alsjeblief" at service staff on concluding my transactions, and I did this several times over the next few days.

There were a lot of cock cars in Vienna also (even one with animal ears on it promoting "Lindt"). We found out that they were of the "Smart" brand. Jiekai informs me that he's found out that they're made by Daimler-Chrysler. The website urges one to "open your mind" (because only an idiot would drive the car otherwise).

There were swarms of companies offering tourist concerts, and the representatives were all waiting beside major tourist locations, ready to pounce on hapless tourists. Bah. As My Favourite Misanthrope comments, those are lousier than the real ones. Even if some of them do play in 18th century garb. The concert programs also read like a "best of" list, and you pay more for them (€30 was the cheapest student price for one - compare that to my €4 seats the night before).

There was some stupid "Calling Mozart" project, where 50 small pillars were scattered across "historic" locations in Vienna. On each, a quote by or related to Mozart was emblazoned, as well as a number, the calling of which would presumably get the quote narrated to you. They helpfully reminded the gullible that roaming charges would apply. To their credit, they said that WMAs streams/MP3s were freely downloadable on their website (http://www.callingmozart.at/).

There was an ad for German classes at the http://www.deutschakademie.com/. Unfortunately, that ad was also (only) in German.

I should've tried a Daim McFlurry in Paris. Ah well.

Rinderwurst is spicy. Bloody hell.


Cock files, or things for which I would've pelted Jiekai with the Biggest Snowball In The World, Part Deux, if there'd been snow:

- He didn't carry a proper student ID because he had 40 pounds of meal credit left on it. Hell, he didn't even carry anything with his date of birth (he kept leaving his passport in the hostels) on it, despite being asked for something with his DOB on it on multiple occasions (even though for some reason he travelled with his Singaporean IC as well). Luckily he was not made to pay adult rates.
- He threw a booger onto a Mercedes
- He threw a booger onto the sand ground of the Spanish Riding School training arena
- Jiekai: It's very easy to manipulate women.
Me: So why don't you do it?
Jiekai: Because I'm a very moral person.
Me: Right.
- In the gallery of Schönbrunn he danced the waltz with an imaginary partner.
- He kept going on about returning to every place in the future with his "girlfriend/wife", when he would be very rich and be able to do extravagant things like rent a horse carriage through Schönbrunn gardens, despite my pointing out that he'd never get the time, energy and money all at the same time, even assuming he would find a "girlfriend/wife".
- He walked out of the Spar supermarket with the basket. He says it's happened to him in Oxford at least once.
- He pretended that his right hand was playing Traumerei. I had to smack it.