"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination." - Thomas De Quincey

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"Choose Your Own Adventure" Books That Never Quite Made It - "You're the star of the story! Choose from 20 tragic endings. DON'T BOTHER. You die in most of the endings anyway."

Buridan's Ass - "The passing of Buridan's ass theory is a tragic shame, primarily because this theory is the best possible way to understand most romance novels, especially those of Brenda Honnefleur. The heroine in each novel is torn between two equally suitable mates and often resigns herself to life alone instead of selecting one... Buriden's ass theory can be applied to more than just relationships. Douglas Coupland's novel Paradise by the Refrigerator Light concerns Ellie McDaniel, a graphic design student and poet who cannot decide whether to major in art or English. Instead of pursuing a double major, she simply drops out of school, smokes tons of marijuana, and eats tremendous amounts of microwavable tater tots.."

YouTube - Tits for Tots - "There are millions of girls out there who are learning as they enter their teens that they're gonna be flat chested for the rest of their lives. This means no good-looking boyfriends, no immediate hiring in meaningful job interviews, no quick access to the VIP section at exclusive clubs and Hollywood premiere parties. They will instead have to learn how to dance, and flirt, and have actual engaging conversations with hundreds of overweight, overbearing, nerdy or just plain moronic men. But we can stop this wretched madness right now."

Japan massage - "Girls hitting dudes in the nuts. Beacuse the dude pays for it"
Damn Japs.

Real Life Simpsons Intro - "Someone went through a lot of trouble to very accurately depict the Simpsons intro with real life actors."

Doonesbury@Slate - "Situational science is about respecting both sides of a scientific argument, not just the one supported by facts! That's why I ALWAYS teach the controversy! Like the Evolution controversy, or the Global Warming controversy... Not to mention the Tobacco controversy, the Mercury controversy, the Pesticides controversy, the Coal Slurry controversy, the Dioxin controversy, the Everglades controversy and the Acid Rain controversy."

Hey,Dudette! - "The tendency towards unisex names is useless in this regard if everyone needs to quickly identify a person's sex and thenceforth refer to them with sex-based pronouns. Living in a patriarchy we simply cannot imagine a circumstance in which knowledge of a person's sex might be irrelevant or unnecessary. But let us pretend for a moment that such a circumstance is possible... traditionally inclusive terms like he and him can also be used inclusively without regard to sex. In the event that there is a bona fide reason to communicate another person's genital status, it is as simple to say that "Same is female," or "He is female, as it is to say that "The surgeon is female," or The attorney is female." Having once established a person's sex, it is no more necessary to refer to them in terms of their sex, than it is in Hofstadter's satire, to refer to people continuously in terms of their race."
What is this woman smoking?!