As they build more toilet cubicles for women, I wonder why they're allowing for moral hazard in the first place: why not just get them to finish up faster? Just as clothes expand to fill available cupboard space, I'm quite sure the time spent in the toilet will lengthen in response to increased capacity.

Breakthrough - The Sword of the King - "You have no reason to fear in 2006! And The Sword of the King is a beautiful reminder of that promise! This sword is a replica of the sword of the legendary King Arthur... Display this specially crafted sword in your home as a reminder that this is your year to walk in complete fearlessness, according to Isaiah 41:10!"
Excalibur as a Christian symbol?! Personally I would vote for giving them ploughshares.

Closing the doors of limbo: Theologians say it was hypothesis - "Many Catholics grew up thinking limbo -- the place where babies who have died without baptism spend eternity in a state of "natural happiness" but not in the presence of God -- was part of Catholic tradition. Instead, it was a hypothesis -- a theory held out as a possible way to balance the Christian belief in the necessity of baptism with belief in God's mercy. Like hypotheses in any branch of science, a theological hypothesis can be proven wrong or be set aside when it is clear it does not help explain Catholic faith."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Preaching a Gospel of Wealth in a Glittery Market, New York - "New York has long been acquainted with prosperity preachers, having given the world the Rev. Frederick J. Eikerenkoetter II, the indefatigable man known as "Reverend Ike." Reverend Ike, a religious broadcasting pioneer who favored gaudy suits, fancy cars and aphorisms like, "the lack of money is the root of all evil""
Wah, blasphemy. I have faith that apologists can make white black.

OBJECTIVE: 4 Kidz with Lambuel! - "Hey, Habu... How many gods do you have? Habu says: 'I don't know... I lost count!' Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all? Jesus loves everybody, even the unsaved like Habu! Remember to pray for Habu and others like him that they may find Jesus and accept Him into their hearts!"
Parodies get subtler and subtler by the day, as the real world gets more and more insane.

"Live" With Bambi - "An evening relationship helpline show helmed by the ditzy Bambi, a host who dishes relationship advice with no professional knowledge whatsoever. Her callers are almost always clueless men, because well, quite simply they don't know any better. In this short film, we tune in on how she helps 3 guys with their problems ranging from 2-week relationship failures to sweaty palms."

Web users judge sites in the blink of an eye - Potential readers can make snap decisions in just 50 milliseconds - "Lindgaard and her team presented volunteers with the briefest glimpses of web pages previously rated as being either easy on the eye or particularly jarring, and asked them to rate the websites on a sliding scale of visual appeal. Even though the images flashed up for just 50 milliseconds, roughly the duration of a single frame of standard television footage, their verdicts tallied well with judgements made after a longer period of scrutiny."

Japanese video promoting "Imagination" - This reminds me of the Chinese proverb about the insane granny who was putting the iron rod to the grindstone just to get a needle. All these people must've taken mercury to live longer, but it only gave them brain damage.

Chinese New Year’s Songs - "Just when you thought that Christmas songs in department stores were irritating, check out these Chinese New Year’s songs - all in perfect English, but extremely odd. I recorded from a hokey departmenty store near my apartment on my Zen Micro, so don’t complain about the quality."

Rowan Atkinson - Hell - "I saw someone request more Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean), the man of dry humor, so here he is onstage ... acting as the Devil. This stand-up is from sometime in 1988."

***

Quotes:

[On slacking by doing honours year modules on exchange] I like to shortchange myself. It's my favourite hobby.

F maths - no. Maths - F - yes.

[Me: Do they all look freaky {at bashes, like how people promoting bashes look?}] It's okay to look freaky, but you must look freaky in a good way. They look freaky in a bad way. Like they just fell into a dumpster and came out blue-black.

[Girl to her friend: You need to lose weight.] Did you just say I need to lose weight? You're such a bitch!