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Me: Why do men like Thai girls?
The Associate: Because one day women will open their eyes and realise that Thai girls are: a) pretty, b) kind, c) like to fuck
Me: Used to be men.
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Given that magic stone salesmen are sent to jail, and that I saw "the Crystal healing pack" in Borders today which promised, among other things, to "strengthen your immune system and improve your vitality", I wonder who else is destined for the slammer.
I saw, riding in the front passenger seat of a police car, an auntie with butch hair munching a piece of cake. Uhh.
Now that Christmas is over, I won't have to hear that awful song where a prayer is set to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. Yay.
At Tangs's sleepwear section I saw a bag in the shape of a female torso, complete with 2 breat-shaped mounds. The torso was covered with the stereotypical bra material; my friend didn't know what it was, and when I went to check one training bra, it unhelpfully told me it was made of 'spandex/lycra/cotton'. Since the material looked like a ranger suit, I must assume it was spandex. The whole thing was then covered in lace. My friend said it was "cute" (presumably in the same way Disgusting Chick stationery is "cute"). Naturally, if a male expressed appreciation for it he'd be called a pervert.
I was passed a flyer from "Truespa", "a 16,000 sq ft holistic spa & aesthetics centre", where I was promised treatment to "Give yourself the face, skin and body you've always dreamed of!", and promised that their normal $350/hr "Vela Smooth (TM) Introductory Special!" would be offered to me for 160. Notwithstanding the fact that I'll need a spend a year in there to get "the face, skin and body [I've] always dreamed of", going bankrupt in the process, I'm never paying them a vist because their flyer had a picture of a lotus pod with seeds in it, which reminded me of the breast rash larvae picture. (Oddly enough, the fake breast rash larvae picture is much more disgusting than the real breast larvae video).
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Given how free our police are, I'm surprised they haven't yet cracked down on Falungong as a sop to China, since I'm sure the CCP doesn't appreciate signs like "Heavens will annihilate the CCP. Resign from CCP to ensure your safety".
God knows people have complained in the past, since Singaporeans make police reports about everything. Probably it's because they know how much power Falungong has, and don't want them to campaign against the Singaporean government in other countries with signs calling for the heavens to annihilate the PAP. Or worse, to have people immolating themselves in front of the Istana.
Normal Singaporeans, timid as they are, wouldn't go to such lengths, but I wouldn't put it past Falungong.
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Channel NewsAsia headline: Spitting in public named the most irritable habit in Singapore
Personally, my vote goes to Bad English.
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Dancing UFO - "is an exercise tool designed to effectively reduce abdominal obesity. Small and lightweight hence easy to store and carry, you are able to workout on the run, anywhere, any time.
An unprecedented high-tech innovation, it will help you regain and maintain optimum health."
qI thought it was Japanese at first.
Job re-creation scheme lets SMRT bus drivers become technicians - "From January 3 next year, SMRT bus drivers can enjoy a five-day shift work week, a dual career option and S$1,200 starting pay, along with attractive medical benefits and incentives."
Workers of the world unite: you have nothing to lose but your