There's this jokes mailing list called Buffalo's Chips, and the jokes come in clean (non-offensive) and adult (offensive) versions. The clean ones are all bad jokes and almost all are either corny jokes, puns or both. Meanwhile even stuff like "Murphy's Law For Witches", which seems totally harmless, goes on the adult list.
Are there good non-offensive jokes out there?! Perhaps, due to the march of political correctness, anything remotely funny is considered offensive, so to be safe, we are left with corny jokes (which offend no one except those with a sense of humour) and puns (which only offend the words themselves). Everyone is then happy, having escaped offence. Except for people with a sense of humour.
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Toons on Drugs
Speedy Gonzales
Hey, c'mon. Was there ever a rodent when Amphetamine abuse is so obvious? And did you notice, he runs out and gets the food for everyone, but does he ever eat any?
Elmer Fudd
No question, the boy trips on Ecstacy. I mean, listen to that laugh, would you?
Wile E. Coyote
Now here's a total PCP burnout case. Not only does he feel no pain, but he's too brain damaged to know he's licked.
Yosemite Sam
Another Angel Dust suspect. His aggression knows no bounds, but despite being shot by cannons at point blank range, he just gets madder and meaner.
Snoopy
Of course, likes to trip out with grass. Mostly, he's pretty mellowed out, but when he gets his paws on that Hash Oil, hey, its WWI flying Ace time.
Olive Oyl
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the heck are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for dating her.
He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the stuff in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse!
Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side: Are they gay? I mean, take a look at BooBoo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
Droopy Dog
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
Dopey (Dwarf)
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra 'scripts' for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.
Daffy Duck
If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him.
Shaggy
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats (scooby snacks) consumed per episode smokes pot. And look at the way he and his friends painted that van!