Civilization Anonymous

Rob T.: By the time I got to the industrial age, I was a full-blown junkie. There were times when I'd play the game 2, 3 days straight. Wouldn't get up to eat, wouldn't get up to go to the bathroom.

Off-camera: You didn't go to the bathroom for 3 days?

Rob T.: I said I didn't get up. *starts crying*

...

*Guy in chair rocks back and forth muttering "One more turn"*

Edna N. (old woman): I thought I was able to handle the power. I've always been a kind and gentle person. But when I was finally able to split the atom, I built me a bomb and I dropped it on every mo-*beep* who got [in] my way!

Voiceover: They come from all walks of life. Doctors, lawyers, politicians - all with one thing in common.

...

George W. (face pixellated): I was a big fan of the, the religious aspect of Civ IV. A big fan. Dating back to the Church in Rome. Uh, did you know that they spoke Latin back then?... Latin. I love the sound. I love all the Xs. I love that J. Lo! She's got, she's Latin.

...

Sid M.: Hi. My name is Sid.

Everyone: Hi Sid.

***

I still prefer Alpha Centauri, though. It had more character.

Distinct factions with personalities, better quotes (narrated better too, despite Leonard Nimoy), fungus, mindworms, sea cities, customizable units, espionage, technologies like Monopole Magnets, REAL terraforming (who needs windmills and cottages when you can construct thermal boreholes and drill aquifers?), nerve stapling, a Planetary Council which could do a few funky things, and societal decisions like adopting Eudaimonia. Oh, and it didn't have 7 religions which are essentially all the same (it'd have been nice to rule as a Confucian Despot, oppressing my people under the guise of 'Confucian Values'), which might be why there's no concept of religious conflict (damn, I want to start a Holy War!).

But at least there's a 200 page manual.


If our society seems more nihilistic than that of previous eras, perhaps this is simply a sign of our maturity as a sentient species. As our collective consciousness expands beyond a crucial point, we are at last ready to accept life's fundamental truth: that life's only purpose is life itself.

-- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, "Looking God in the Eye"