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A joint effort by Enming and me - an effective way of relieving exam stress!
REVIEW OF THE MUSIC VIDEO “APACHE” BY THE TOMMY SEEBACH BAND
The short version: "it looks pretty screwed... Asian Prince could have starred in it..." - En Ming
Another short version: "The 70s was a really bad decade. I'm glad I didn't have to live through it" - Brother-in-Law
The long version:
(Ed: added in December 2013, not least since the original site is now down)
One look at this video reminds me why I am happy I no longer live in the 70s…from bell-bottoms to tasseled cowboy shirts and big moustaches, it clearly was the decade that taste forgot. It was also the decade of social activism…maybe…and whatever it is, because this apparently is some Native American Rights song…a touching anthem on the rights of the Apache.
Ah, here we are, opening in a forest clearing where we see this band playing.
On guitar, a rather regular-looking guy, considering it is the 70s.
On drums, we have a balding dude in a SAF chao-peng-kia (smelly boy soldier) pair of glasses who looks again, like a pedophile or a homosexual. But according to some Internet forum he was retarded, so he can be forgiven for looking funny.
The guy on bongo drums appears to be Smokey the Bear, or Chewbacca, depending on your pick.
The leading man of the band plays a three-tiered keyboard, and is dressed in the getup of a cowboy complete with tassels hanging from his sleeves, shoulders, collar and waist. His wide-gapped smile, big hair and moustache make him look like an idiot. Or perhaps, a pedophile, or just a plain creep. His hips swing to and fro in a manner that might be considered sexy – if only he were 10 years younger.
All of these happy musicians have a vaguely glazed look on their face - whether this is from smoking too much pot or due to their having suffered brain damage while writing and rehearsing for this song is uncertain. So they’re busy gyrating and grooving in the middle of nowhere and moving a little to their vaguely Western-sounding rock tune, which since is called “Apache”, is entirely appropriate. Then the lead singer turns to me, smiles his wide grin, as if hoping I enjoy the corny music as much as he does.
Then we see some scantily-clad, vaguely Native American woman with a hairband - who we can tell is just a white woman with a really good tan, comes out from behind a tepee which looks designed by and to fit a 5 year old child.
The lead singer, who I shall call Rhinestone Cowboy, turns to the screen, and says, “Apache…” while waving with a lustful look on his face.
Two more scantily-clad, “Native American” women emerge from behind the tent, and start dancing a rather badly choreographed, though elaborate dance, perhaps meant to imitate some obscure Apache scouting ritual. This being the era before boob jobs became popular, they all look quite modestly-endowed.
Rhinestone Cowboy then laughs (which is when we start laughing too).
The scouting ritual continues apace.
Another guy on an electronic guitar, looking like a mop-haired druggie, does a little riff…
Then we see the scantily-clad “Native American” dancers, coming into the foreground of the video, I have no idea if this is supposed to be a way you shoot a music video where it takes the focus off your band, but boy is it innovative!
Then the dancers surround the singer, performing their authentic Native American scouting and bird call ritual dance… Rhinestone Cowboy stands around, gyrating his hips as usual and looking very pleased that he’s getting all the attention since his brethren have slaughtered all the young Apache males.
They do so for quite a while, with Rhinestone Cowboy occasionally belting out an “Ohh!” into the camera with expansive hand gestures, before the lead singer (if he can be called that) hisses the word “APACHE!” and then lets out his loud, maniacal laugh, glorifying as he is in the decimation of the Native American tribes…
The dance continues…before the Rhinestone Cowboy launches into a heroic speech about the rights of the Apache: “Brave warriors, riders of the plain…”
(Meanwhile we get to peer up the crotch of the most normal guy in the group)
… and he dances into the midst of the authentic Native American women and engages in an exchange of cultures between the West and the Amerindian, participating in their ancient and arcane dance ritual…continuing his impassioned defense of the Native American Apache and how they must be free to “make their own lives” while the dancers keep chanting “Apache pache boy” around Rhinestone Cowboy, perhaps initiating him into their tribe officially…
Then he laughs again…perhaps in joy at the success of his initiation…
The video ends with the Native American woman surrounding Rhinestone Cowboy in an elaborate ritual proclaiming his status as the Great White Warrior for defending the rights of their tribe.
To which he responds again in much laughter, and chases the dancers around his multi-tiered keyboard in an re-enactment of an ancient wildebeest hunting ritual…
He shall from now be known as APACHE PATCHY BOY!
Evaluation: This is no doubt a racist music video commissioned by the US government (or the New World Order, if you like) to rub salt into the wounds of native Americans by humiliating their culture and traditions!!!
The bowdlerized Apache rituals and distorted characterization of the Other are clear evidence of the possession of a Native American form of Orientalism by the makers of the music video.
Thus are potential enemies of the Illuminati warned off and prevented from interfering with Zionist plans.
Wha!! OMG!!11!!OMG1111!!!OMG111!!11one11!~!!one!!eleven!!!11!!!!
Watch the music video now!
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"i'm just disgusted by the interest generated and the obvious we must bring him down at all cost attitude.." - Essentially, that's the reason why I (and a few others, I hope) are so repulsed by the whole Cheng Zhang affair.
Some say that as a future policy maker, he cannot hold racist views. Yet one can think abortion is morally wrong, yet disagree that it should be banned. One can also think that all non-believers go to hell, and that one has a personal duty to save them, yet not institute a policy of mass conversion if one is in a position of power. So why can't one be racist in personal belief yet be neutral in decision making? Besides which, a cursory search would reveal that current governmental figures have also had a history of making remarks that could possibly be construed as racist.
Some also mock his lousy password protection (only his root domain was protected, and then with an easily bypassed javascript hack), yet if your obviously private diary with a rudimentary, if ineffective lock is on the shelf and your mother picks it up and reads it, is she to blame to violating your privacy? Or are you to blame for leaving it open to the world (or your household, at least)?
Besides which, his blog was called "cLuB mAmAsAn DoLlY" (god, you'd think they'd
know not to take his posts seriously with such a name).
Another interesting insight: "How much of this persecution has to do with some innate anti-gahmen sentiment, anti-elitism sentiment? If it was just another guy on the street, would you be baying for his blood?"
Perhaps it is due, as AcidFlask observes, to the puncturing of the myth of infallibility in a meritocracy. In any case I am heartened by the few voices of reason which have joined mine in the SPUG thread
Another soundbite: "has anyone even considered the notion that u can make racist comments without being racist? esp when u're pissed off at someone"
Thoughts on Young Republic:
"Just to point out that public policy is never made in
a vacuum. It's never made solely on one person's input (possibly unless your surname is Lee or Goh).
Attempts to root out racism in people are usually fruitless when it comes to choosing decision-makers, simply because people will lie when asked if they're racist.
It's much better to check policies and laws for racist effects, and correct those. The best way to do that is to involve different, interested parties (here, people of other races) and allow them to participate in the decision-making process."
"Even if he has done wrong, allow me to point out a few people and organisations that have done much much worse. The ST Forum has published the letters of a number of homophobic people and organisations with the intent of spreading hatred towards these homosexuals. I would strongly urge that if a witchhunt is going to be launched, do not apply any double standards and go after them as well. Particularly Focus on the Family and their homophobic supporters."
"But I'm just thinking, remember some months ago when somebody posted that Michael Barr article on the "racism" of Lee Kuan Yew on this mailing list and commented on it? I think it was *** but can't remember exactly. In any case, for the interested ones the url is here: http://www.sfdonline.org/Link%20Pages/Link%20Folders/Human%20Rights/barr2.html and the argument is exactly as per what Gabriel says: that one can be racist in the sense described by Barr and *** without letting that influence his policy decisions.
Looks like Cheng Zhan isn't really that different from the great and illustrious founding father of our nation. Especially regarding the comments on sociology. Just a thought."