"Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts." - Clare Booth Luce

***

I was asking around for where to buy cheap original games, and 2 independent sources referred me to:

Computex Computer Services (aka Ah Lim's shop), in Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre,

and one referred me to this Hardwarezone thread with more information. I called Ah Lim up on Saturday, and he said Knights of the Old Republic II (KOTOR II) was sold out, and to come on Tuesday at about 2pm. I enquired about the price, but he was skittish, only assuring me that he would give me a "very good price". However, someone had told me that you could save $20 by Final Fantasy XI there, so I assumed that buying KOTOR II might deliver similar savings.

So today I boarded the 153 at Bukit Merah. The bus driver was this grumpy chinese woman who, when I asked her where to get off, mumbled incoherently in the hope of fending me off. However, I was not to be deterred, and wore her down with my persistence until, giving up, she read off her time sheet and gave me an ETA for Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre.

The ETA came and went, yet I didn't see any place that looked vaguely like it was Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre. Experience had also given me faith in the helpfulness of bus drivers in hollering from their seats when passengers' destinations were reached, so I held out for a shout that never came. I was deadened by my confusion, and thrown into a state of apoplexy until I reached Hougang Interchange.

At Hougang Interchange, I called up Computex Computer Services and was given vaguely vague directions, and was asked to ask the bus driver where to get off. So I took the 153 back in the other direction. The bus driver this time was a burly and hairy Indian man with a earring in each ear, but he seemed friendly enough. He tried to describe me where to get off, but in the end he said he would tell me when to get off. And so I sat on the bus, looking around as it moved on for the ever-elusive Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre.

When I started to see road signs for Braddel, my Magnakai Discipline of Divination told me that something was wrong. I went up to the driver and asked if we had passed Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre already. He looked confused momentarily, then replied flippantly: "Pass already, pass already".

And so I got off the bus near Carmichael Road (the location of Patch's demesne, incidentally), and trusted in my stout two feet, sturdy (new) pair of walking sandals and battered but reliable umbrella (for the sun was beating down from above most harshly).

After a long and hard trek, with the four winds tousling my long and silky locks, I finally sighted Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre in the distance, and it was plain why the place couldn't be seen from behind the window panes a moving vehicle: coming from one direction, a huge viaduct in the centre of the road obstructed any view of the shopping centre and especially the letters spelling out its name. Meanwhile, if you came from the other direction, you'd only be able to see the letters spelling out the shopping centre's name if you squinted through the back window of the vehicle and knew where to look, since the letters were not present on the other side of the building. Besides which, the shopping centre, or at least the building with the letters and the bulk of the shops, did not front the main road - it was buffered by another building. So only one traversing by land and so familiar with the lay of the land would be able to determine the location of the place, at least on a first trip.

Descending a steep slope, I found myself staring at an unscaleable fence. Cursing my luck, I had to ascend back to the level of the main road before I could descend another less steep slope some way in front, to reach the shopping centre.

Upper Serangoon Shopping Centre itself was an interesting place, run down and with half of the shop units untenanted. Stepping into it was like travelling through a time warp: the place had a seedy 80s feel, complete with the snack bars that you used to find at Bukit Timah Plaza and Katong Shopping Centre (though I think the latter still has them), the smell from which mixed with the generally musty smell of the place emanating from various unmentionables to produce what I call the "Seedy 80s Shopping Centre" scent: one that used to be able to be sampled at Katong Shopping Centre, Bukit Timah Plaza and to a lesser extent, Far East Plaza. Besides the shop hawking half-decade old fashion, a tattoo parlour (where more than half of the photos of satisfied customers' tattoos were of women, strangely), a shop selling school uniforms and the aforementioned snack bars, there was a sauna, relexology centre and KTVs.

Almost immediately after my stepping into the building, the fire alarm went off (it just isn't my day). The tenants seemed unperturbed, however, no one panicked and after a while the alarm was turned off. A faulty alarm, I assume.

While looking for the toilet, I stumbled across 'Hougang de Sauna' which had 2 hostess-type women clad in sultry black clothing leaning on railings in a bored fashion; one was playing with her child. They paid me no attention, because it was obvious that I was more of a tourist than a potential patron: my attention was captured by what seemed to be a Buddhist prayer room: it had a small waterfall and a pond which contained a water jet spouting from the mouth of a golden fish, a garland-draped altar with an idol in the centre and various pots for joss sticks. The room was naturally ventilated, and oddly enough roofed with zinc sheets, some of which had translucent portions to act as skylights. And words on the door announced that the room was open every Thursday, and on the first and fifteenth of the month, from 10am-6pm:

"Rules & Regulations

1. Praying for peace of mind, good health and success in business
2. Seeking of lucky numbers is prohibited [Ed: This struck me as odd because you could pray for business success]
3. Anyone caught with abuse will be barred from worshiping
4. No burning of joss-papers"

In the end, I managed to locate the shop, which had a very friendly proprietor, and bought KOTOR II for $49; not being familiar with the market, I thought it was being sold at $69.90 at least elsewhere, but Melvin informs me that it retails in most places for $54.90. I also got 5 Sony DVD-Rs for $1.40 each (at the NUS co-op they go for $2.20 or thereabouts, even with the discount card). So in the end I saved but $9.90, almost half of which I burned in transport fees, to say nothing of the time wasted. But at least I had an adventure, of sorts.

My recommendation would be that only those living in the East or Northeast visit the shop, unless you're buying large quantities of merchandise. And for those who appreciate clearer directions than on the HWZ thread: the nearest MRT stations are Serangoon and Kovan, and if you go by bus you should stop around the crocodile farm or the start of the long viaduct.

***

Me: I just had an adventure

Someone: wat adventure?
sex ah :P
hahaaa

Me: sex with you ah

Someone: wtf?
how come i didnt noe

was it good?
was i good :P
im bored

Me: I can tell
maybe it was a doppleanger [Ed: Doppelganger]

Someone: so was it good
the sex i meant

Me: not telling
haha

Someone: hahahahhaa
hahahahha :P
okok
u're not the kiss n tell kind

Me: haha you never kiss me what
how to tell


Someone on why he's not doing business: business will confirm get cheated one......... I so gullible.......

***

After looking at many pictures of moobs, I've come to the conclusion that mine don't actually look too bad. Yay.