Friday, May 28, 2004

I suspect that half of my ICQ list is either perpetually in invisible mode or has defected to M$N. The trouble is tracking down the login emails of the second half.

New ambition: Do something to get myself or my exploits onto Ananova's Quirkies section.

***

It's disgusting how unscrupulous companies have screwed up web searches by:

1) Setting up storefronts that merely rip reviews and information off from Amazon.com, then offer you a link to Amazon.com to buy the product just so they get some commission (Example)
2) Including choice keywords (eg MP3, free and download) on pages hawking music CDs to mislead people, thus drowning out any sites that *do* provide the desired MP3s (Example)
3) Generating pages which merely coalesce results from one or more search engines and include excerpts from the search results, so you make absolutely no progress (Example)

Is there no limit to the iniquity of man?

Scum.

***

The British Museum has an excellent site on Mesopotamia where, among other things, you can join cuneiform tablets (which I did by looking at the colour and shape of the tablets rather than examining the writing), learn how to spell the word "sheep" in cuneiform and see a dramatic photo of an archaeologist rescuing a last find as water from a dammed river pours into a site.

Why do we find mime artists annoying? - "Psychologists say we love and hate mime artists because they wear a mask that hides their features and allows a person to behave unpredictably. We also fear they'll make fun of us."

Ancient gods seek place in modern Greece - "On a sweet Athenian spring evening with the sacred rock of the Acropolis bathed in the white light of a full moon, a chorus of voices join in prayer, chanting: “Hail Zeus!” The voices are not those of actors in an ancient tragedy or an Olympic ceremony, but a group of modern-day Athenians solemnly worshipping the Olympian Gods."
So technically it is insensitive and religious discrimination to call the body of Greek myths and legends "Greek Mythology"

We’re Losing Shakespeare! - "The more the language alters, the harder it becomes to understand the past. The English of Chaucer has long since become a semi-foreign language. The same will soon be true of Shakespeare, whom we already need footnotes to help us through. And then Jonathan Swift, and Samuel Johnson, and so on."
Sad, but true. But surely, concluding that "George Orwell saw not only the poverty but the danger of a language that had become purely contemporary. A language without roots, without the authority of generations implicit in its usages, is the perfect instrument for tyranny" smacks of paranoia and an unsound mind. It's just like those who bemoan "cultural imperialism"

The bizarre world of bonkers book collecting - "There's 1934's Correctly English in Hundred Days. ("This book is prepared for the Chinese young man who wishes to served for the foreign firm. It divided nearly 190 pages. It contains full of ordinary speak and write language.")"

(Some links from In principio erat Verbum)

***



Troy review - And you thought *I* was pedantic :)

Choice lines:

"Would Pitt's female fans still have come to watch a near-naked Brad Pitt getting it on with some guy? Sure, why not? It's not like he's ever going to get it on with most of them anyway."

"Achilles, who has a strange combination of nearly Matrix-like powers, utter ruthlessness and male lovers in the original poem, has been turned into "Fabio on the beach" in the guise of Pitt"

"In the Iliad, it says when Helen is in Troy, two old guards catch sight of her and say "it is no shame that men should fight and die for such a beauty as this". I can't imagine that happening with Kruger, who seems to have wandered in from the next-door audition for Eastern European Bond girls."

"I am so sick of stories of women who are enslaved and then fall in love with their captors/rapists/enslavers! Hello, where are all those nutty left-wing liberals and feminists when you need them?"

"The very idea that Hollywood could so alter one of the greatest tales ever told to say that anyone but Clytemnestra killed Agamemnon is, to use an apt Greek word, hubris. It's disgusting. The point that Agamemnon goes home to be killed by his wife Clytemnestra is the basis of the Oresteia - the cornerstone of Western Drama. Benioff might as well make a giant 40 foot robot come in and kill him"

"I was looking forward to Paris dying. But turns out that the writers changed it...grrr. They kill Brad and Eric, but they can't kill Orlando. Were the writers afraid that a few million teen Orli fans were gonna hurt them or something?"

"Granted, it was nice to see lots of splendid muscles from Pitt and Bana, but did Petersen really have to desecrate the Iliad in order to do that? Couldn't he have made a film about bodybuilders or competitive swimmers instead?"

"The Greek kings all look like old bikers. In fact, the Greeks look pretty much like every OTHER people trying really hard to look like Greeks. They're kind of a cross between Minoans, Medieval Europeans, and Vikings. It's a sad day indeed when the Greeks aren't Greek. One of the gang I watched the film with commented that the Greeks looked more like Dwarves from LOTR."

"The swords in the film are made of steel - and definitely not bronze. WHY IN ZEUS’ NAME IS THERE IRON IN THE BRONZE AGE? There's a reason this age is called the BRONZE AGE - they didn't have iron or steel tools yet."

"What on earth were llamas doing running around the streets of Troy? I know they filmed in Mexico or something, but what are South American animals doing in a market place in Asia Minor in in 1200 B.C.?"

"In an interview, Benioff recently said,"This is the mother of all epics, the cornerstone of Western literature. If I screw it up, classicists around the world will issue a fatwa and assassinate me with bronze daggers." He'd better be borrowing Brad's protective armour then. If I were in the mafia, I would seriously start a vendetta against those who allowed this film to see the light."

You learn things prose retellings gloss over (like Achilles' bisexuality).

***

Do girls get caned in sch in Singapore? - "Hi. I'm from Malaysia, and when I was in primary school, I've seen many canings on boys and girls (I often get caned too). That time, I don't really have any feelings on it, but now, when I'm big, I do feel happy when I think of girls getting caned in school. Sometimes, when I return to my primary school, and looked into the class and saw teachers caning girls, I do feel very 'excited'"
Disturbing.

***


Disney movie! What the HELL are you doing taking
this quiz, Goldilocks?! You're not a very
sexual person...in fact, you're probably a
virgin. You'd be better off trying your hand at
voice-overs for a Saturday morning cartoon.


What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

***

Go Gold Ranger!

Gold...Ranger...
Quick as lightning, strong as steel..
Watch out danger, he's for real...
You know when lightning strikes, it's Gold Ranger!

All evil you can't stop him!
Gold Ranger, he's not droppin!
Watch out when lightning strikes, it's Gold Ranger!

Gold....Ranger..
Gold....Ranger..
Go Gold Ranger!

Gold...Ranger Go...
His Power has no fear..
A Golden force is here..
You know when thunder rolls it's Gold Ranger!

When darkness comes to town,
Gold Ranger can't back down..
Watch out, cuz lightning strikes, it's Gold Ranger!

Gold! Ran..ger! Go!
Ranger...danger...Ranger...
Here comes Gold Ranger! Woah!

Gold..Ranger..
Gold..Ranger..go Gold Ranger!
Gold..Ranger..
Gold..Ranger..
Go Gold Ranger!

How come they haven't had cool songs like these since Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie? The newest album I can find is mostly made up of old tracks - the only "new" track is an insipid remix of the Wild Force theme (the original sounds better), and the newest original song on it is "Best of the Best of the Best" (the Astro Delta Megazord finisher theme - that came out in 1998!!!) :( That said, something is wrong with Amazon.com - some of the track previews I clicked on sounded like a black rap song.
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