Sunday, November 30, 2003

Differences between Men and Women - Boys Toys are so much Better than Girls Toys

Have you noticed at Christmas that boys get toys that are just so much better than girls toys? Boys will get things like Lego or Construx, models of air planes and air-craft carriers, rocket kits, chemistry sets, electronic boards, robots and cars that actually drive. Girls on the other hand get junk like little Barbie dolls, or even worse horrendous little fake babies that pee and poop when you feed them. If they are real lucky the girl might get a play house that they can pretend to be a bitter married middle-aged house wife in.

Boys toys are better for two reasons:

1) They are just plain funner. I mean seriously, what's cooler: constructing and blasting a model rocket thousands of feet into the air, watching it come down on its parachute (if it deploys properly - its even funner if it doesn't deploy), or mindlessly brushing the nylon hair of the useless hunk of plastic that is a Barbie, muttering how pretty she is all the while resenting her long legs and big bust.

2) They are educational. Chemistry sets, lego and construx are all preparing the little scientists and engineers of the future. They all teach the basics of science and engineering: the driving forces behind civilization. What are Barbies and other dolls teaching little girls? How to feel bad about themselves because they cannot possibly achieve the ideal that Barbie creates? Or with the pooping baby: seriously, there will be more than enough time in the future to clean up poopy diapers. Same with playing house. Come on now, how boring and pointless is that. I play house all the time now and it sucks big time.

Little girls, get out there and make something! Use lego, contstrux, even popsicle sticks. Then once you make it, blow it up! Like the boys do! Believe me, its a lot of fun. A lot funner than those rancid pooping babies that's for sure. Parents take note.

This all leads to a much larger social issues as well. It is because of how we condition our children with these gender roles from such an early age that you don't see nearly as many women in the useful jobs like scientists or engineers. Women generally go into more pointless 'nurturing' and 'people-oriented' jobs like school teachers and strippers. It sickens me. There is nothing sexier in this earth that a woman in a lab coat with splash goggles or a hard-hat on, but damn are they hard to find (and if you do find them, they are taken!).

These toys also leads to how women and men differ as consumers. Any TV commercial you see directed towards woman will be one of these 3 types of products:

1) Stuff to make women look pretty - Things like clothes and cosmetics. I find cosmetics hilarious: little greasy creams and paints that women spread around on your face to try and cover and mask up their natural features. Think about how ridiculous it would be for men to put on makeup (ok, straight men). I hope one day women come to their senses and scrap this bullshit. Anyways, my point is that the unholy obsession with Prostitute Barbie, with her raccon eye shadow and strumpet lipstick is partly to blame for this state of affairs

2) Stuff to keep the house clean - Notice even today how all household cleaning commercials have still have only women in them. If I was a woman, and not even a feminist I would be outraged by this. As a man I'm outraged because I do lots of cleaning, but is there ever a man with his arm in the toilet up to his elbow scrubbing away? No! But playing house has conditioned women to accept this sorry state without question.

3) Feminine Hygiene (this one maybe doesn't have anything to do with toys - is there a menstruating Barbie out there? I would not be suprised if there was) - We won't even go too far down this road, 'cept to say there should be laws against these commercials.

Young girl to her mother says: 'Sometimes I feel, you know, not so Fresh-'

Me watching commercial: 'NOOOOOOOO! THE HORROR! LALALALALAL'

Me: *Flips channel to good old wholesome show with people being blown to bits*

Men on the other hand get all the cool adverting directed towards them: beer, cars, TVs, computers, electronics, food, you name it. Any funny and clever ad, (and they are few and far between) will be directed towards men. If I was a woman, I would once again be outraged by this, but since I'm a man I just sit back and enjoy.

So in conclusion I just want to say to all of you parents of little girls out there - think carefully before you buy your daughter the all new Pooping Menstruating Barbie for Christmas, or whatever girly bullshit you were thinking of buying her - her entire future is at stake.


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