I have been attached back. This gives me one less reason to complain about 42's torture of me, however futilely. I'm quite sure there is/was *some* way I could complain about what they did, but I don't know how. On the bright side, though, since I returned, I haven't been tortured too badly, both because of block leave and my CSM going on course. However, improbably, the madness of my company has recently reached new heights (or depths). Among other things, they want to check our bags before booking out, have roll calls after booking in and disallow staying out for medical appointments. They actually wanted to stop us leaving the day before our proper day of leave or off, but thankfully they revoked that draconian order. Hopefully, saner heads will prevail and these rules will be relaxed over time, but then we have no power, as tattooed invisibly all over us are the words: "Property of the SAF".

Even if you do accept that National Slavery is essential to guarantee Singapore's safety, we have to ask ourselves: are these ridiculous and unnecessary measures truly necessary to maintain Operational Readiness? Or are they just the sadistic whims of a few people inflicted on the rest to no practical end? Happy soldiers are (more) willing and (more) effective soldiers, so making them miserable does not help you fight a war. There is a reason why the Navy and Air Force are professional organisations made up, for the most part, of regulars, while the Army is just a place where regulars torture NSFs and everyone wastes their time.

Someone formerly from 42SAR was posted to 2SIR, and he tells me that, contrary to what people say about infantry, 2SIR is actually quite slack. They aren't obsessed with BUC, there's no RT (maybe just for his company), there's more freedom and they're less regimental.

Commanders like to say that if their men fail their IPPT and SOC, it is their failure as commanders for not training their men. All very noble and admirable, but unfortunately, the men are the ones who suffer for their commanders' "failures". Taking the blame is nothing - it's the punishment that kills.

Just as Ivan reminds me of Julian, I realise that Vincent reminds me of Luther. It's not just that they are both tall - they both can be corny (the latter more than the former), and have a knack for making certain types of statements which I am at a loss for words to describe.

One reservist MO was giving out his namecard to all the patients he saw. And one reservist corporal was marking geography essays. The joys of reservist life.

We were discussing how to raise productivity, and hit on the idea of using computers to answer calls, as many companies do nowadays. On calling, you caller would hear something like this: "Welcome to the Armour Medical Centre. For English, please press 1. For Mandarin, press 2. If you want Malay, you've dialed the wrong number. Please put down the phone." The caller would then be invited to press a number corresponding to which unit he wished to reach, and put on hold, to be treated from time to time to placating messages such as: "Thank you for waiting. All our operators are currently unavailable. Your call is important to us. For your convenience, a fax line is also available at ***", until someone bothered to pick up the phone or the caller grew so fed up he put down, and soothing music like songs from the recently cut Army Songs album, or "Medics of the Field", the official song of the SAF Medical Corps.

I noticed that SFI's proclaimed mission is to "provide safe and wholesome food". Notice it says nothing about tasty food. I was also always under the impression that safe food is a non-negotiable item. Further, this mission implies that SAF food in the past was neither safe nor wholesome.

I was having a hair cut at the 46 barber, and I noticed that due to the dearth of reading materials, people usually read what's available while waiting. Old issues of 8 Days and Cleo seem to be all that the barber stocks (since she probably reads both), and most people would have read the former, so you see men reduced to reading Cleo when they would not in any other circumstances. The looks on their faces range from bewilderment to disinterest. Meanwhile, I am mostly smiling condescendingly for among other things, half the magazine is ads, and 3/4 of the remainder is disguised ads (features or pictures of products, with prices and availability).

The ever efficient SAF shot an arrow to someone, and eventually it was passed along to me. That in and of itself wouldn't have been so bad, but I had to do the same task 3 times in a row, increasing in intensity, tedium and detail each time, which meant the first 2 times (and 1 1/2 hrs) were wasted.

The putrid miasma of Singapore, especially that in my camp (all that reclaimed swampland, you see) seems to have given me back my slight cough.

"Lithographer" is an SAF vocation. I am speechless.

The SAF should, in addition to the SAF Counselling Hotline, set up an anonymous channel for complaints. The chain of command just doesn't cut it.

People say I looked rejuvenated after my trip. Let's hope this burst lasts till next June.

The guys got 3 days off for not more than 24 hours of work during the Army Half Marathon. Wah.

Tri-Circle brand locks are very lousy. With his skeleton key, Law managed to open Zhenhao's lock after the latter locked himself out of his cupboard.

On Wednesday and Thursday, I was giving reservists jabs at Khatib and Maju. They get half a day off, and half a day of pay, just to spend 5 mins taking an injection (or two, as the case might be). Wah. Also, the driver who drove me on the first day understood English better than he spoke it, and sensed I had the same problem for Mandarin, so he suggested I speak to him in English, and that he'd reply in Mandarin, which was an excellent arrangement. Later on the same day, the clerk who was with us treated us to some snacks from the canteen because he was ORD-ing in 6 days time. The Khatib canteen had some really innovative food, all of which I was trying for the first time - I had sardines wrapped in a pancake, pastry with some bland mildly salty potato filling and sasane (however you spell it - the chewy thing with sesame seeds on the outside) with a coconut filling (instead of the usual peanut or lotus paste). And then on the second day, Channel 8 was filming at Maju, and I also saw Johann there.

Bob is gone for 2 months, so I should be able to sleep on 2 mattresses. However, others keep stealing them before I can take them, and worse, someone is trying to evict me from my secret garden, reducing me to mono-syllabic utterances. Gah!

The E-Mart in my camp sells Seventeen magazine. Why this is so puzzles me, as I am probably the only NSF who has ever bought this magazine, and then only twice.

I think I am very much a goody two shoes. Maybe 2 year soldiers are more willing to take risks as they have less to lose. At the same time, nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, more attention seems to be paid to me since I am the No 1 enemy of 42SAR.

An X-ray of my soles revealed that I have "bilateral accessory naviculae". So now I know why it always hurts so much.

I was sending this guy to Tengah Airbase at night to report sick, and noticed one medic staring at me. After a while he said, "You're Gabriel Seah right? I'm from RJ too. 1 year your junior". For the life of me, I didn't know who he was. It seems my wanted posters are distributed far and wide (and how come my fellow RJ-ians always get cushy postings?! Gah).

I wonder why the SAF let the Straits Times do a story on DB. Probably it was for PR reasons, but what the article did not say was more telling than what it did. It was interesting to find out what Jehovah's Witnesses do in DB - they get a special T-Shirt and to tend the nursery, cook the food (so there's no cookhouse there?) and feed the fishes. I wonder what happens to non-Jehovah's Witnesses conscientious objectors.

Other interesting facts about DB:
- they get 5 slices of bread for breakfast (we get 4)
- they wake up at 6am (5BX personnel wake at 5:25am, and the rest at 5:45am, at least on paper)


Life

Often, joyous events themselves do not give one that heady a thrill, but recollection of them gives one the time and perspective to appreciate them, and for the events to gain the shimmer that only nostalgia can give falsely them. On the other hand, with time, people remember their past sadness to be less intense than it was, as time has dulled their memory and they desire to be happy.

I wonder why some people like to try to interfere in matters that, if allowed to go on uninterrupted, either will not, or have an infinitesimally small chance of, affecting them. This is all the more puzzling and unpleasant when the gains to others of allowing these events to continue far outweighs the expected loss to the antagonists. Perhaps, in addition to desiring to eliminate, as far as possible, even the smallest of risks to their well-being, these people like to scold others to feel important, and have a fixed idea about the perfect order of the world, and any attempt by others to upset it upsets them.

It's funny. Some people profess to be very religious, but they don't even seem to make the slightest attempt to do the basics of what their religion asks of them.

Piffling matters, observations and thoughts

Timothy Ang's doing history at Cambridge. So maybe my sister will get to teach him. Haha.

A lot of people on Friendster put their real photos up. I'm surprised as people are usually skittish about letting others see their true visage.

I heard the MMPR communicator ring tone play several times while in the MRT one day. Looks like there are other fans out there.

Some people think that only attachments greater than 1MB in size are considered "large". These people apparently have never had to deal with 700kb of attachments flooding their Hotmail Inboxes, almost filling them.

I was eating Walkers Sensations Four Cheese and Red Onion crisps which "combines smooth Red Leicester, full-bodied Cheddar, mellow Gouda and piquant Parmesan. Sweet, tangy red onion is added to make this a deliciously indulgent treat." Unfortunately, I've never tasted the first and can't remember what the third tastes like.

Current affairs

Some teachers attribute the bad english of JC students to their not studying Literature for their O Levels. Pffth. I didn't do Lit for my Os. All you need is adequate exposure and practice. I think the poor English is due more to the failure of our policy of bilingualism (which also contributes to a low level of Mandarin, albeit not as low as English).

"If you can die for your country, why can't you die for yourself?" - Rock Band "Hell On Earth" leader Billy Tourtelot. Indeed.

Why do hackers always hit opposition, anti-PAP and Civil Society websites, and not those of the PAP or government?


OB Markers

Someone was telling me that his female significant other, despite being Malay, dislikes Malays for the same reasons that most Singaporeans who dislike them do. I found this quite interesting, for they tend to be a close-knit lot. Also, it's high time that we face "sensitive" issues instead of clamming up and citing vague threats and concerns. Throwing a veil of silence over something and pretending that it does not exist does not make the problem go away - in fact it is merely a temporary escape, not a solution and meanwhile the problem will stew and grow. Indeed, the artificial silence may merely serve to emphasise the problem more: "It's like being overly polite to someone blind, disabled, etc. You both know he's blind, but you're making him feel worse by trying to be nice and "sensitive" and not talking about it". Imposing a blanket ban on dialogue and discourse regarding racial and religious matters does not make racists or fundamentalists any less prejudiced. Lacking a healthy outlet, such sentiments will fester.

The recent "shocking" study that showed primary school kids only mixed with members of their own race showed that decades of smothering all non-sanitised dialogue on racial issues and trying to force the races to mix does not increase racial understanding. There is a lack of statistical evidence, but from anecdotal evidence, I think it safe to conclude that, and I think Singaporeans will probably agree with me, despite the attempted social engineering, Singaporean society today is not a truly multi-racial one, though neither is it a pluralistic society a la Colonial Malaysia (but then take away government racial quotas on HDB flats and other such policies and we may lapse yet further). Most people have few friends of other races and racist talk and jokes continue to circulate like wildfire. Just because Singaporeans can't say these things publicly does not mean they don't in private, and indeed forbidden fruit is always sweeter. Seeing racially balanced groups of friends prancing about on television does not make people form similarly balanced groups in reality.

Perhaps our society just isn't mature enough to accept this level of healthy discourse, which is truly a pity.

"it IS true that singapore has experienced less racial clashes than neighbouring countries. and in major global events when race becomes
a sensitive issue, singaporeans have managed to stay indifferent, or at the very least, civil." True, but we are not, and never were, the only multi-racial society, and many of the rest are not in as much trouble as the government would have you believe would ensue with its heavy hand lifted.

Of course, all this is debatable, but we will never have hard data to evaluate and perform cost-benefit analysis, so.

In a similar vein, whenever calls go out to liberalise society, a chorus of voices always shouts in unison that our society is not "ready" for the said measures yet. Was Singapore in the 1960s ready for a multi-racial policy? Is our workforce today "ready" to accept CPF cuts? These policies were rammed down the throats of the populace without so much as a "if you please", so why can't they government do the right thing and liberalise society today? Is the spectre of economic or political catastrophe the only thing that can galvanise them?


Quotes:

You don't watch wrestling? [Me: No, my mental state has not degenerated to that level yet.] Oh my god. Your supersonic English

Japanese guys like to degrade Japanese girls. They like to make them pose in degrading positions.

Has Melvin gone back to bunk? [Me: No, he's still here.] He told me he wanted to book out. [Me: He doesn't like to book out. He likes to stay in bunk and eat instant noodles and sleep.] So that his tummy will get bigger and bigger.

Army trains you to eat fast then go back to bunk and sleep.

There are some people who spend 5 hours a day looking for new porn websites... I used to do that during my holidays. [Someone: That was before you discovered child porn. Just go to Kazaa.] **** also looks at child porn. [Someone: I only look, I don't collect. You have... how many gig?]

[Someone: Every site I visit is child porn.] That's because the only sites he visits are child porn ones.

Every new technology is used for child porn. World wide web... Gnutella... Kazaa.

[On child porn] How come I've never seen it? [Someone: That's because he only plays Neopets.]

Who's Duli Yang? [Me: Duli Yang, Maha Mulia, Seri Paduka] Ok, ok, I know.

[On Close Combat Training] Please ensure you have a good view of us jumping in the field and groping each other.

Eh look at the rape high school club. [Someone: Got rape primary school club or not?]

[On our proficiency test] Can moderate what. All fail, then moderate.

[Me: Is Wang trying to corrupt you?] Watersports.

Let's go and look for child porn now [Someone: Third on his list. After scat and watersports]