Articles of Faith of the Apathetic Agnostic Church (The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic)

1. The existence of a Supreme Being is unknown and unknowable.

To believe in the existence of a god is an act of faith. To believe in the nonexistence of a god is likewise an act of faith. There is no evidence that there is a Supreme Being nor is there evidence there is not a Supreme Being. Faith is not knowledge. We can only state with assurance that we do not know.

2. If there is a Supreme Being, then that being appears to act as if apathetic to events in our universe.

All events in our Universe, including its creation, can be explained with or without the existence of a Supreme Being. Thus, if there is indeed a God, then that god has had no more impact than no god at all. To all appearances, any purported Supreme Being is indifferent to our Universe and to its inhabitants.

3. We are apathetic to the existence or nonexistence of a Supreme Being.

If there is a God, and that God does not appear to care, then there is no reason to concern ourselves with whether or not a Supreme Being exists, nor should we have any interest in satisfying the purported needs of that Supreme Being.


The Last Question
Isaac Asimov

Copyright (c) 1956 by Columbia Publications, Inc
Used without permission for educational use

"The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way..."

A most intriguing short story. With an unexpected and amusing end *g*


Meditation 84

An imaginary dialogue with an imaginary deity

As mentioned in previous Meditations, there are a number of billboards erected along America's highways, with some 20 different messages, all signed God. Following is an imaginary dialogue between GotB (God of the Billboards) and AD (Agnostic Driver,) using just the undedited words from those billboards for GotB's side of the conversation. Be amused, or be offended.

GotB: We need to talk.

AD: I don't think so. These billboards are more than enough. If you actually "talked," I'd probably think I was crazy. Just like most of those who claim you talk to them. Why should I listen to an unprovable invisible entity?

GotB: I don't doubt your existence.

AD: That's because I possess objective reality. You don't. Your attributes seem to be more imaginary than real. Humans really were not made in your image.

GotB: Don't make me come down there.

AD: Is that a threat? You like to make empty threats don't you. And some of your followers say you are a loving god.

GotB: I love you and you and you and you and...

AD: You have a strange way of showing it. It seems to me the love is demanded, not given. But enough of these signs. I have to concentrate on my driving.

GotB: Need directions?

AD: No thank you. I know where I'm going.

GotB: Follow me.

AD: As I said, I know where I'm going. And following the invisible won't get me there.

GotB: My way is the highway.

AD: Right; you've certainly marked it as yours with all these billboards you've excreted along the wayside.

GotB: Will the road you're on get you to my place?

AD: I hope not. I'm not planning on an accident. Though with this g@%d#@*# traffic...

GotB: Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.

AD: So you've fallen back into threat mode! If you really can influence rush hour, consider making it shorter. Then there will be a lot less swearing. Anyway, there are evils in the world that you should be more concerned with than the occasional curse.

GotB: What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?

AD: Oh I understand those three words alright. They say a lot about the personality your believers have given you. It is the words that follow them that I question. For example: "Thou shalt not kill." How many people did you order the Israelites to kill in the Old Testament? And that after you had given out the commandment. It really amounts to "Thou shalt not kill unless ordered by a voice in your head claiming to be god."

GotB: Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test.

AD: I've probably read more of it than most of your followers. As to the test, will the science questions be real? Or the ridiculous Genesis version?

GotB: Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding.

AD: No. The real question is why so many of your followers think the scientific theories of creation necessarily exclude god. Why can't they understand that while the creation story in Exodus is a myth, it maypossibly express an even more profound religious truth. Considering god working through science would be a much more intelligent religious view than that blindly accepted by the idiots who erected that sign in your name.

GotB: That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.

AD: Are you taking offence because I referred to certain of your followers as idiots? As long as they try to stuff their foolish religious views down my throat, they will never be loved by me. Not even liked! But other than applyingthat rule to them, I'll admit it is pretty good guidance. Too bad you didn't think of it first. But of course, your preachers claim in their sermons that you did.

GotB: Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.

AD: Before the game? Does this mean you've softened the fourth commandment? So you really are into sports? And which team is it that you really listen to the prayers of?

GotB: C'mon over and bring the kids.

AD: Catholic priests? Jehovah's Witness Elders? Do you really think I'd let the kids anywhere near a church?

GotB: Tell the kids I love them.

AD: Yeah - right! It's bad enough we have to protect them from your clergy...

GotB: Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.

AD: I don't think so. We don't accept that whole "wife as property" concept.

GotB: You think it's hot here?

AD: You really have to get those idiots who put up these billboards to change them with the seasons. It exposes the ineptness of it all when this particular sign is snow covered


I should spoof those highway billboards someday.


Lastly, a better essay than I'll ever write - short, sweet, lucid and to the point:

Why I Am Not A Christian, by Bertrand Russell

"What really moves people to believe in God is not any intellectual argument at all. Most people believe in God because they have been taught from early infancy to do it, and that is the main reason.

Then I think that the next most powerful reason is the wish for safety, a sort of feeling that there is a big brother who will look after you. That plays a very profound part in influencing people's desire for a belief in God. "

He doesn't touch on alleged 'experiences', though. This site does, though. Interestingly:

"epileptics have historically tended to be the people with the great mystical experiences. The Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, wrote of 'touching God' during epileptic seizures. Other religious figures from the past who may have been epileptic include S Paul, Joan of Arc, S Theresa of Avila and Emanuel Swedenhorg, the eighteenth-century founder of the New Jerusalem Church... Neurosurgeons who stimulate the limbic system during open-brain surgery say their patients occasionally report experiencing religious sensations. And Alzheimer�s disease, which is often marked by a loss of religious interest, tends to cripple the limbic system early on... anyone who still doubts the brain�s ability to generate religious experiences need only visit neuroscientist Michael Persinger at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ontario. Almost anyone can have a mystical experience just by wearing his magnetic hat. Persinger uses transcranial magnetic stimulation to induce all sorts of surreal experiences in ordinary people... For non-religious people, it is the feeling of a ghost, but religious types identify the presence as God."