Lyric quiz!!
I learnt to play this song a long, long time ago .... beautiful. Don't remember it on the airwaves in singapore though... maybe i was too young. And there's a key change in the song within these lyrics!
"A cold and friendless tide has found you
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down
I'll paint a ray of hope around you
Circling in the air, lighted by a prayer"
And no it's not Take 5 boyband stuff!
Saturday, April 27, 2002
Thursday, April 25, 2002
The word of the day is: "litote"
*primly*
Andrew, I'm glad that I inhabit the part of our brain that avoids boy-band songs like the plague. Although, frankly speaking, I hope the host body looks better than any of us.
How come all you other lobes of our multifurcated brain have fans?
History lesson.
a) Anzac Day is the Australian and New Zealand way of commemorating for themselves and the world that they can send young people to die in needless, mindless conflict like any other nation; although it's particularly embarrassing when your *first* major world conflict with heaps of casualties happens at the behest of a fat aristocrat sitting in Westminster(Gallipoli and Churchill, respectively)
b) It wasn't a war.. it was a Konfrontasi - as Sukarno so charismatically put it during a speech in Singapore - in front of C.K. Tang in the 60s. Indon commandos with bombs were captured off Changi and in Johor, for one, and Australian troops went in to carry out some recon and anti-insurgency work.. at behest of the Singaporean and Malaysian governments.
And finally, what have you got against the "dingy-cargo-pants-worn-out-moccassin-crusty-windbreaker" school of university dressing? Worked pretty well for me/us and I/we were there?:)
*primly*
Andrew, I'm glad that I inhabit the part of our brain that avoids boy-band songs like the plague. Although, frankly speaking, I hope the host body looks better than any of us.
How come all you other lobes of our multifurcated brain have fans?
History lesson.
a) Anzac Day is the Australian and New Zealand way of commemorating for themselves and the world that they can send young people to die in needless, mindless conflict like any other nation; although it's particularly embarrassing when your *first* major world conflict with heaps of casualties happens at the behest of a fat aristocrat sitting in Westminster(Gallipoli and Churchill, respectively)
b) It wasn't a war.. it was a Konfrontasi - as Sukarno so charismatically put it during a speech in Singapore - in front of C.K. Tang in the 60s. Indon commandos with bombs were captured off Changi and in Johor, for one, and Australian troops went in to carry out some recon and anti-insurgency work.. at behest of the Singaporean and Malaysian governments.
And finally, what have you got against the "dingy-cargo-pants-worn-out-moccassin-crusty-windbreaker" school of university dressing? Worked pretty well for me/us and I/we were there?:)
Identify the lyrics anyone? They came from a highly mortifying source (shudder)
http://www.teridianshadow.com Travis ho and linus tan have been working on this, it's terrific! Just caught the fabulous trailer!
Rudely awakened at 1.30pm by a call from tiffany that julia's birthday celeb (planned in a park) was called off due to the weather. Uh-oh, now everyone will think i'm a pig and spend all my time sleeping! I didn't sleep that much, woke up at 10.30 and read pratchett's witches abroad, then started on pier anthony's geis of a gargoyle ( imo PA sucks compared to TP ) and fell asleep reading it.
Also Trying to suppress gagging after today's lunch- sundried tomato and mushroom risotto. The alternatives were: sandwich bar (i already eat sandwiches every school day!), fries, pizza square, lasagna (anything has to be better than pasta here!), and unidentified greasy brown-black chunk of meat. Sushi looked tempting but I'd much rather walk down to a takeaway jap place to eat sushi.
Was very down on tuesday after my feedback interview with problem-based learning tutor... on the verge of skipping rest of the afternoon classes. Went to pig out- got a hot chocolate from Plush Sushi (it has a jap chef who specialises in good sushi/handrolls and it serves pretty good coffee/chocolate too!) and requested funky Paprika Powder! It really gives a boost to the flavour- and gave jiaming a shock when she tried it!
Want to go shopping for cool clothes down in melbourne central, plus more dressy stuff around there, and fleece things and raincoats and sports accessories down in smith street where the warehouses are. Then i keep on thinking how much i'm supposed to spend a week... and realise I usually blow it on weekends at one shot. Have got to reserve some money for a decent haircut this week. Am resolving not to degenerate into a perpetually cap-donning, dingy trackpants-dirty-sneakers-smelly-clothes campus lurker.
Just discovered computer terminals in the student union library are available for playing computer games!!! Now i'll have yet another distraction! But friday... maybe friday i'll go play badminton again.
I'm supposed to start on my next assignment. oh well, i shouldn't put it off.
Andrew gan
Gabriel Bus 165 is marginally more regular than 61. If i were you i'd probably just take a cab since i wouldn't be spending the measly allowance on anything else anyway.
I think i have a couple of those big pitchers that languish unused at home.. i'll have a look when i'm back.
And i'm working on the assumption that anything i blog would register on a very limited number of people (of whom I am obliged to add *swinging on a star apologies again!!!)
Today's Anzac day, national public holiday. It's a "bloody" holiday to commemmorate the violence committed by Australian and New Zealand armies- in world war 1 and 2, several regional conflicts and last in East Timor "peacekeeping".
Intrigued to learn a little about australian soldiers involved in a war between indon-esia and ma-laysia- "There was very little press coverage in Australia at the time, because of the sensitivity of the operations and the cross-border activities. The Australian troops were all sworn to secrecy about having entered Indonesian territory, and it was not until 1996 that the �invasion� was publicly admitted"
If we do turn out to be an MPD I volunteer to be host body!!
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Andrew: it's spelled "jelak", not "gelak"
Pedantry satisfied.
The word of the day is: "encopresis"
Firstly, before I launch into the usual self-involved tirade, I would like to share something that a friend of mine pointed out; namely, that it was somewhat bizarre to have three separate diarists going into three separate narrative threads, with barely any recognition of each other's existence, other than an occasional footnote or aside.
As Gabriel points out, we're not trying to pad it out, we're just cohabiting a "platform for diversely deprived people". Still, in this day and age, everyone with net access can construct his or her own goddamned platform, complete with angsty pastel colours, and tasteful abstract images. What does it say about the three of us, with little in common, and under completely different lifestyle circumstances, crowding out our separate lives on one diary? To some uninitiated observer, we could very well be three aspects of a multiple personality disorder - who just happen to congregate on the same page. It's certainly plausible, although, from what I know of Andrew and Gabriel, I seriously hope that if we ARE an MPD, the host body isn't mine. [NB: The Associate and I have some history about multiple personalities]
As my friend puts it, "It's like sharing the house with a partially mobile piano bench with a nose for table scraps. It's like sharing a subway car with some derelict who you think is passed out, until you notice that his eyes are open, staring right at you, and you don't like what's lurking behind the pupils - then the lights go out. "
Hm. These metaphors a bit too cheem for me.
Anyway, the replacement security guard also bought it today. He was caught sleeping at the job, with his rifle next to him, which an observant customer noted to a teller(the armed guard sits in a chair just by the door to the back office behind the tellers section, which customers get a fairly clear view off through the transparent screen). My assistant manager was incensed by this, and the fact that it wasn't the first time this bastard had been chided for sleeping on the job in plain view, which, obviously wasn't good for our bank's public image. The security company sent a senior officer over to haul his somnambulant ass off, and he was replaced by the first garrulous armed guard in my tenure to date... this crusty old veteran who normally does CIT routine, rather than static building guard. (CIT: Cash-In-Transit - ie. escorting armoured vehicles on cash runs). He fits in perfectly with all the classic fantasy archetypes: think of David Gemmell's Druss or the classic grizzled veteran mercenary - with the seamed features, wiry, shoulder-set look of capability.. and the shotgun;) He's actually killed a robber before(shotgun blast to the head), and was quite cheerful about it, and having to be shipped out of Johor following the incident(as a necessary matter of policy against aggrieved vengeance-seekers, security guards who actually take a life in the course of duty are immediately reassigned outside the state). This bugger is the second person I know to have taken another human life(funnily enough, that makes both the people I know who've taken another human life Muslims - which I hope doesn't indicate something. *wryly*)
The new guard gave Hasan(the other garrulous security guard, and who has turned out over the months to be someone I can really talk to. Some day I shall dedicate a rant to his fascinatingly storied existence) a highly amusing lecture. It reminded me of something straight ouf of an old John Ford war movie, or some hard-core grilling shit. It went along these lines:
(The veteran) "So how long have you been a guard?"
(Hasan) "Three months"
"And how long more do you want to be a guard?"
"Don't know.. maybe a few more months"
"Why?"
"Well.. because I'm scared.. so many robberies now... not safe to be a guard"
"WHY??? DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE???" (delivered in this stentorian, Voice-From-Above thundering denunciation of Hasan's manliness, or lack thereof.)
This was followed by an incredibly learned lecture on security awareness, the importance of gut instinct, how to spot for tell-tale gun imprints underneath clothing, some thoughful abstract musing on the role of man in this uncertain, tumultous world, and culminating in an earthy conclusion about having seen it all in 23 years as a security guard.
Perhaps I should shift the focus of my future workplace rants away from security-guard related incidents:)
Oh, and in a final aperitif - the other male in my position within all of XXX bank's branches in the Klang Valley resigned. That means I'm the sole male PFC(Personal Financial Consultant) in the Klang Valley region(encompassing KL and Selangor). My assistant branch manager suggests the branch put up a plaque designating me an endangered species.
As my senior aptly puts it: "You are now The Last Panda."
Pedantry satisfied.
The word of the day is: "encopresis"
Firstly, before I launch into the usual self-involved tirade, I would like to share something that a friend of mine pointed out; namely, that it was somewhat bizarre to have three separate diarists going into three separate narrative threads, with barely any recognition of each other's existence, other than an occasional footnote or aside.
As Gabriel points out, we're not trying to pad it out, we're just cohabiting a "platform for diversely deprived people". Still, in this day and age, everyone with net access can construct his or her own goddamned platform, complete with angsty pastel colours, and tasteful abstract images. What does it say about the three of us, with little in common, and under completely different lifestyle circumstances, crowding out our separate lives on one diary? To some uninitiated observer, we could very well be three aspects of a multiple personality disorder - who just happen to congregate on the same page. It's certainly plausible, although, from what I know of Andrew and Gabriel, I seriously hope that if we ARE an MPD, the host body isn't mine. [NB: The Associate and I have some history about multiple personalities]
As my friend puts it, "It's like sharing the house with a partially mobile piano bench with a nose for table scraps. It's like sharing a subway car with some derelict who you think is passed out, until you notice that his eyes are open, staring right at you, and you don't like what's lurking behind the pupils - then the lights go out. "
Hm. These metaphors a bit too cheem for me.
Anyway, the replacement security guard also bought it today. He was caught sleeping at the job, with his rifle next to him, which an observant customer noted to a teller(the armed guard sits in a chair just by the door to the back office behind the tellers section, which customers get a fairly clear view off through the transparent screen). My assistant manager was incensed by this, and the fact that it wasn't the first time this bastard had been chided for sleeping on the job in plain view, which, obviously wasn't good for our bank's public image. The security company sent a senior officer over to haul his somnambulant ass off, and he was replaced by the first garrulous armed guard in my tenure to date... this crusty old veteran who normally does CIT routine, rather than static building guard. (CIT: Cash-In-Transit - ie. escorting armoured vehicles on cash runs). He fits in perfectly with all the classic fantasy archetypes: think of David Gemmell's Druss or the classic grizzled veteran mercenary - with the seamed features, wiry, shoulder-set look of capability.. and the shotgun;) He's actually killed a robber before(shotgun blast to the head), and was quite cheerful about it, and having to be shipped out of Johor following the incident(as a necessary matter of policy against aggrieved vengeance-seekers, security guards who actually take a life in the course of duty are immediately reassigned outside the state). This bugger is the second person I know to have taken another human life(funnily enough, that makes both the people I know who've taken another human life Muslims - which I hope doesn't indicate something. *wryly*)
The new guard gave Hasan(the other garrulous security guard, and who has turned out over the months to be someone I can really talk to. Some day I shall dedicate a rant to his fascinatingly storied existence) a highly amusing lecture. It reminded me of something straight ouf of an old John Ford war movie, or some hard-core grilling shit. It went along these lines:
(The veteran) "So how long have you been a guard?"
(Hasan) "Three months"
"And how long more do you want to be a guard?"
"Don't know.. maybe a few more months"
"Why?"
"Well.. because I'm scared.. so many robberies now... not safe to be a guard"
"WHY??? DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE???" (delivered in this stentorian, Voice-From-Above thundering denunciation of Hasan's manliness, or lack thereof.)
This was followed by an incredibly learned lecture on security awareness, the importance of gut instinct, how to spot for tell-tale gun imprints underneath clothing, some thoughful abstract musing on the role of man in this uncertain, tumultous world, and culminating in an earthy conclusion about having seen it all in 23 years as a security guard.
Perhaps I should shift the focus of my future workplace rants away from security-guard related incidents:)
Oh, and in a final aperitif - the other male in my position within all of XXX bank's branches in the Klang Valley resigned. That means I'm the sole male PFC(Personal Financial Consultant) in the Klang Valley region(encompassing KL and Selangor). My assistant branch manager suggests the branch put up a plaque designating me an endangered species.
As my senior aptly puts it: "You are now The Last Panda."
!@#$%^&*()
I come back and I start griping. Argh.
I come back and find that the straw for my gigantic Dunkin Donuts drink pitcher (bought in 1994 when I was in the USA) , useful for pouring copious amounts of drink to sip slowly and complete with insulation, is *still* missing. On inquiry, I find that the straw had been the one given to me to consume the Thai coconut my mother gave me (which was very good, by the way). And it was reasonable to assume that the straw was disposable. So now my pitcher is useless without the straw. Argh. I wonder if they sell this sort of gigantic pitchers (preferably with insulation) over here. Oh Powers That Be, do leave a comment here if you can help me in my predicament!
[Update: I have plundered my Disneyfest straw. It's a bit too long and it's ridged, so orange pulp gets stuck in it, but it's better than nothing!]
The cab fare back was $7.90 including surcharge, and I saved at most half an hour. I think maybe I'll take the bus next time, and try my luck with the 165 instead of the 61. My brother in law has just kindly given me another $5, so I'll get to ride back tonight.
And lastly, I got poked twice yesterday. Because I neglected to acquire a copy of the documentation for my 1989 Hep B jab, I had to go for screening. On arriving at Maju, who should I find grinning at me but the likes of Yong Gen and Jason Lau. Wonderful. Luckily the real medic took my blood, as my vein was hard to locate. The Temporary Support Staff (TSS) like the aforementioned were horrible and kept "topo-ing", and most people had to be shot at least twice. Steven, the last, with beautifully prominent veins, was missed twice, sadly. And after that I had IV (I think Tuesday is the official IV day), and I got poked in the wrist by Steven, who had no one left to poke. The wrist, where flesh is scarce and consequently, injections hurt a lot. Ugh. And I failed my own attempt, so I've to do 2 next week.
And my parents are arguing about inconsequential things again.
On the bright side, even after my rant, I have 2 solid hours at home to slack. Yeh. Daniel and Steven asked me to go to a LAN shop to play counterstrike, but I think they'll gleefully ravish the food I will bring in later.
I come back and I start griping. Argh.
I come back and find that the straw for my gigantic Dunkin Donuts drink pitcher (bought in 1994 when I was in the USA) , useful for pouring copious amounts of drink to sip slowly and complete with insulation, is *still* missing. On inquiry, I find that the straw had been the one given to me to consume the Thai coconut my mother gave me (which was very good, by the way). And it was reasonable to assume that the straw was disposable. So now my pitcher is useless without the straw. Argh. I wonder if they sell this sort of gigantic pitchers (preferably with insulation) over here. Oh Powers That Be, do leave a comment here if you can help me in my predicament!
[Update: I have plundered my Disneyfest straw. It's a bit too long and it's ridged, so orange pulp gets stuck in it, but it's better than nothing!]
The cab fare back was $7.90 including surcharge, and I saved at most half an hour. I think maybe I'll take the bus next time, and try my luck with the 165 instead of the 61. My brother in law has just kindly given me another $5, so I'll get to ride back tonight.
And lastly, I got poked twice yesterday. Because I neglected to acquire a copy of the documentation for my 1989 Hep B jab, I had to go for screening. On arriving at Maju, who should I find grinning at me but the likes of Yong Gen and Jason Lau. Wonderful. Luckily the real medic took my blood, as my vein was hard to locate. The Temporary Support Staff (TSS) like the aforementioned were horrible and kept "topo-ing", and most people had to be shot at least twice. Steven, the last, with beautifully prominent veins, was missed twice, sadly. And after that I had IV (I think Tuesday is the official IV day), and I got poked in the wrist by Steven, who had no one left to poke. The wrist, where flesh is scarce and consequently, injections hurt a lot. Ugh. And I failed my own attempt, so I've to do 2 next week.
And my parents are arguing about inconsequential things again.
On the bright side, even after my rant, I have 2 solid hours at home to slack. Yeh. Daniel and Steven asked me to go to a LAN shop to play counterstrike, but I think they'll gleefully ravish the food I will bring in later.
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
Hallo everyone!!!!
I would like to imagine aaaaall of my friends in singapore are reading this and following my activities and life here closely, but i know this is as far away from the truth as possible ... i can probably count the bloggers on balderdash like the dear owner gabriel, uh oh, i better use their nicks "the associate", "aureate", "flippant", kai ren. If you Are reading this and you're not mentioned here, do post or post a comment or tell me!!
Anyway on Saturday i was rudely awakened when albert called me about getting a present for julia, turned out to be eleven o'clock already. DId some study and met him (he was late as usual) to go shopping... eventually bought a big stuffed doggy (almost a metre in length). I bought bubble solution from toys r' us! Went down to crown, originally supposed to eat the buffet but it was a little more expensive than eating main courses from cafe grekko's so we went to the latter. Very fun, took lots of pictures, got to meet more chinese international/local students.
After dinner we went walking down the river to burn off the jelak food. Stopped by a street accordion player and asked her to play a few favourite songs, and gave some money. Then went to starbuck's for coffee stop. Thinking of going clubbing but apparently they need ID like driving licence or passport. All of us didn't have either so we couldn't, anyway some weren't very keen on clubbing. Went home.
Sunday morning I went horseriding with wanyan in ponylands under the uni horseriding club. It was drizzling, and i had to borrow this stinking dirty coat - wanyan said it reminded her of this exotic culinary expression she had just read in a book- "leather soup". Quite fun, i learnt how to control the horse, how to "rise to the trot"- basically adopting standing position then sitting then standing, by pushing off with yr toes in the stirrups. This is so you can stay in rhythm with the horse when it starts to trot. And my horse went into an almost-canter. She had a lovely name- "Pearl".
I went to sleep after the ride, had a headache because i had a helmet that was too small and compressing my temples.
At night I talked to my brother for 2 hours, then went to jiaming's house- she decided to cook dinner- all the asian food i never got to eat. The oddest mix of shows were on TV- notting hill, american pie (with all the explicit scenes), a period drama. Just managed to catch the last tram back down elizabeth street.
I can't remember doing anything special on monday.
And i told my brother and albert about gabriel's posting to medics... they want to know how you find having to inject other people.
I heard people in 1st yr med in monash uni already know how to draw blood.
I would like to imagine aaaaall of my friends in singapore are reading this and following my activities and life here closely, but i know this is as far away from the truth as possible ... i can probably count the bloggers on balderdash like the dear owner gabriel, uh oh, i better use their nicks "the associate", "aureate", "flippant", kai ren. If you Are reading this and you're not mentioned here, do post or post a comment or tell me!!
Anyway on Saturday i was rudely awakened when albert called me about getting a present for julia, turned out to be eleven o'clock already. DId some study and met him (he was late as usual) to go shopping... eventually bought a big stuffed doggy (almost a metre in length). I bought bubble solution from toys r' us! Went down to crown, originally supposed to eat the buffet but it was a little more expensive than eating main courses from cafe grekko's so we went to the latter. Very fun, took lots of pictures, got to meet more chinese international/local students.
After dinner we went walking down the river to burn off the jelak food. Stopped by a street accordion player and asked her to play a few favourite songs, and gave some money. Then went to starbuck's for coffee stop. Thinking of going clubbing but apparently they need ID like driving licence or passport. All of us didn't have either so we couldn't, anyway some weren't very keen on clubbing. Went home.
Sunday morning I went horseriding with wanyan in ponylands under the uni horseriding club. It was drizzling, and i had to borrow this stinking dirty coat - wanyan said it reminded her of this exotic culinary expression she had just read in a book- "leather soup". Quite fun, i learnt how to control the horse, how to "rise to the trot"- basically adopting standing position then sitting then standing, by pushing off with yr toes in the stirrups. This is so you can stay in rhythm with the horse when it starts to trot. And my horse went into an almost-canter. She had a lovely name- "Pearl".
I went to sleep after the ride, had a headache because i had a helmet that was too small and compressing my temples.
At night I talked to my brother for 2 hours, then went to jiaming's house- she decided to cook dinner- all the asian food i never got to eat. The oddest mix of shows were on TV- notting hill, american pie (with all the explicit scenes), a period drama. Just managed to catch the last tram back down elizabeth street.
I can't remember doing anything special on monday.
And i told my brother and albert about gabriel's posting to medics... they want to know how you find having to inject other people.
I heard people in 1st yr med in monash uni already know how to draw blood.
Monday, April 22, 2002
Sunday, April 21, 2002
Ooh, I feel so warm and fuzzy (really!) in a wunnerful sense inside, like poohbear on a honey high or uh cookie monster with a cookie jar....
Ann posted on caramel:
You know, Andrew, you were at Artists' Jam, on spiritual wings. Someone wrote, on the whiteboard:
Ack.--Andrew Gan (in spirit)
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
Ann posted on caramel:
You know, Andrew, you were at Artists' Jam, on spiritual wings. Someone wrote, on the whiteboard:
Ack.--Andrew Gan (in spirit)
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
I bought a SMAC (Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri) novel from the EMF in Holland Village. I just wonder if I'll ever get down to reading it, or if I'll ever see the other books in the series (this one is book 1 of 3).
More weird stuff.
Hope I get at least 2 nights off so I can come home and bum for 2 hours each time! Am I not sad? :) Hot nights on the town never appealed to me anyway, nor did pool. And it's too short for a movie.
More weird stuff.
Hope I get at least 2 nights off so I can come home and bum for 2 hours each time! Am I not sad? :) Hot nights on the town never appealed to me anyway, nor did pool. And it's too short for a movie.
The word of the day is: "threnody"
Spent weekend vegetating at home bonding over my large stack of "to-play" computer games and catching up on some VCDs an animes. Thankfully, my father is away in Australia this weekend, so I have been able to avoid the usual weekend-wasting sessions of family bonding, family lunches, family outings which cut into my valuable entertainment/privacy time. (Some might say my priorities are a little in(per)verted. Gruthokk to you all.) Managed to finish up Freedom Force, and am now in that terrible, ennui-pervasive period where I have to make the leap into another game - it's hard for me these days to really get immersed into a new game per se, and I find myself having to make the effort to actually pick one up, trudge through the learning curve, etc etc. Currently have reduced the pack down to Incoming Forces(light, mindless graphics-heavy shooter), Jedi Knight 2(extremely looong but good game, with funky lightsaber battles), Heroes of Might and Magic IV(although as a long-time HOMM purist, I find the new design revamp a tad.. unsettling) or Might and Magic IX(old-school RPG with new-school graphics). Either way, I have to get into one soon, otherwise I'll degenerate into another week of coming home, not having a game to eagerly anticipate continuing, and wasting a night staring at ICQ or news websites.
Shall make a final decision by tonight, after finishing Death to Smoochy(Edward Norton and Robin Williams; a "poisoned yet delectable bon bon of a movie that will appeal only to the darkest and most jaundiced of hearts"), and possibly Changing Lanes(Morgan Freeman, a good character actor, and Ben Affleck, who turns out to be capable of good character acting, in this movie). Maybe I should start in on Full Metal Panic as well, although once it's irrtiating to start on an anime series knowing that you haven't got the complete run(13 episodes to go). Also the *last* time I started a new anime series(last week, Vandread Second Stage); I somehow ended up watching all 26 episodes in an 11 hour marathon orgy of viewing. Perhaps I should go easy on my stimulation centers this weekend, and instead go for a one-shot movie, such as the Cowboy Bebop movie or Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust.
Basically, these days, I'm trying to find a compromise between my life, the all-pervasive sense of failure and my original stated philosophy of little victories and little stimulations - a simple job, simple pleasures, and the use of entertainment as a soporific against the shards of failed ambition and failed expectations. Also, they keep the recurring suicidal thoughts at bay. That, plus my inability to escape the visceral feeling that suicide these days has really gone out of fashion as a statement of intent - it seems to be less of an extreme, intense life-changing(or ending) action/emotional throb of suffering, but more of a ubiquitous cultural norm, like Levi's blue jeans and Sony Walkmans. The same goes for nihilism, Goth, Christianity, conservatism, liberalism, and wearing black.
After all, I need something to keep my inadequacies at bay, and what better way to buttress off depression, frustration and angst than by using sloth, indolent gratification, and media-generated self-indulgence? Using one weakness to compensate for another. Reminds me of the interesting moral paradox from Aristotle's Ethics(I think..) - imagine a person who is both misguided and indolent - he is misguided and thus has confused wrong and right, but is too indolent to perform his "moral duty"; ie, what he thinks is right. Hence, a good outcome is achieved since his indolence prevents him from acting misguidedly. Two wrongs DO make a right:)
And there; I've fulfilled the customary "angsting-on-a-blog" genuflection for the week.
"Anytime you can give the appearance of being a team player while making your co-workers look bad, you have done your job."
Spent weekend vegetating at home bonding over my large stack of "to-play" computer games and catching up on some VCDs an animes. Thankfully, my father is away in Australia this weekend, so I have been able to avoid the usual weekend-wasting sessions of family bonding, family lunches, family outings which cut into my valuable entertainment/privacy time. (Some might say my priorities are a little in(per)verted. Gruthokk to you all.) Managed to finish up Freedom Force, and am now in that terrible, ennui-pervasive period where I have to make the leap into another game - it's hard for me these days to really get immersed into a new game per se, and I find myself having to make the effort to actually pick one up, trudge through the learning curve, etc etc. Currently have reduced the pack down to Incoming Forces(light, mindless graphics-heavy shooter), Jedi Knight 2(extremely looong but good game, with funky lightsaber battles), Heroes of Might and Magic IV(although as a long-time HOMM purist, I find the new design revamp a tad.. unsettling) or Might and Magic IX(old-school RPG with new-school graphics). Either way, I have to get into one soon, otherwise I'll degenerate into another week of coming home, not having a game to eagerly anticipate continuing, and wasting a night staring at ICQ or news websites.
Shall make a final decision by tonight, after finishing Death to Smoochy(Edward Norton and Robin Williams; a "poisoned yet delectable bon bon of a movie that will appeal only to the darkest and most jaundiced of hearts"), and possibly Changing Lanes(Morgan Freeman, a good character actor, and Ben Affleck, who turns out to be capable of good character acting, in this movie). Maybe I should start in on Full Metal Panic as well, although once it's irrtiating to start on an anime series knowing that you haven't got the complete run(13 episodes to go). Also the *last* time I started a new anime series(last week, Vandread Second Stage); I somehow ended up watching all 26 episodes in an 11 hour marathon orgy of viewing. Perhaps I should go easy on my stimulation centers this weekend, and instead go for a one-shot movie, such as the Cowboy Bebop movie or Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust.
Basically, these days, I'm trying to find a compromise between my life, the all-pervasive sense of failure and my original stated philosophy of little victories and little stimulations - a simple job, simple pleasures, and the use of entertainment as a soporific against the shards of failed ambition and failed expectations. Also, they keep the recurring suicidal thoughts at bay. That, plus my inability to escape the visceral feeling that suicide these days has really gone out of fashion as a statement of intent - it seems to be less of an extreme, intense life-changing(or ending) action/emotional throb of suffering, but more of a ubiquitous cultural norm, like Levi's blue jeans and Sony Walkmans. The same goes for nihilism, Goth, Christianity, conservatism, liberalism, and wearing black.
After all, I need something to keep my inadequacies at bay, and what better way to buttress off depression, frustration and angst than by using sloth, indolent gratification, and media-generated self-indulgence? Using one weakness to compensate for another. Reminds me of the interesting moral paradox from Aristotle's Ethics(I think..) - imagine a person who is both misguided and indolent - he is misguided and thus has confused wrong and right, but is too indolent to perform his "moral duty"; ie, what he thinks is right. Hence, a good outcome is achieved since his indolence prevents him from acting misguidedly. Two wrongs DO make a right:)
And there; I've fulfilled the customary "angsting-on-a-blog" genuflection for the week.
"Anytime you can give the appearance of being a team player while making your co-workers look bad, you have done your job."
ah... i was posted to hq 4sab, signal company =) supposed to be a storeman... and now under training (by my upper-studies) to become the next store ic..
supposedly, ill be going for the storeman course in june or so, but at that time id noe almost everything bout storemanship (hehe actually now i already do more or less)..
my typical work day is quite nice..
0620: wake up
0630: breakfast parade (take attendence)
0650: go back bunk for area cleaning (sleep)
0745: first parade in no4
0800: start work
1000: canteen break
1030: continue work
1130: lunch break
1330: continue work
1500: canteen break
1530: continue work
1700: dinner break
1710: last parade
and thats it! mwahahahah =)
the work itself is pretty minimal too usually.. just loaning stuff, checking eq, maintainance etc..
the only prob now is that my unit is handling ndp (national day parade) this year, so got a LOT of work coming up..
and then shifting camp soon too! UGH. more work..
and another top secret activity that i cant say much about... =) just a lot of work..
handphones can be used all the time (silent mode during parades), and i charge my phone all over (in bunk or store usually)... =P
my company quite cool, got 4 platoons or so, but each platoon is roughly the size of a section in bmt =) (at least my store platoon and the hq platoon)..
my bunk overall is ok, but thats cos the fridge, tv and playstation makes up for the lousy cupboard, sponge matresses and lousy fans.. lucky we'r shifting soon hehehe =)
ah, takes me 45 min or more to reach an mrt station, so travelling out is a big bother.. i get 2 nights off a week (tues and thurs) but they only start next week since newcomers' first month cant take nights off, leave or off supposedly..
next week, i start a 2-week run of being duty storeman, meaning i wake up early, end late, do area cleaning for the store, stay in store during meals etc.. =(
oh well, i already have 1 day off (i think) credited cos we all worked very hard recently, and i heard our oc is going to give us another 3-5 days off for our efforts..!
ah, i like my unit a lot more than bmt!
being c9l2 is great too, during the brigade's live runs (on tues and thurs mornings), i dont need to run, warm-up is selective (i do if i want), and exercises all no need.. then cant do pushup, situp etc, ex guard duty, and a LOT of things.. as my upper-study said, everything i dont wanna do, no need to do. if they force u, just say ur back pain, then they cant do anything to u.. whee =)
[Ed:
I say you chao keng, you say I chao keng.
Actually, only Somchaya chao keng chao keng, hey!]
supposedly, ill be going for the storeman course in june or so, but at that time id noe almost everything bout storemanship (hehe actually now i already do more or less)..
my typical work day is quite nice..
0620: wake up
0630: breakfast parade (take attendence)
0650: go back bunk for area cleaning (sleep)
0745: first parade in no4
0800: start work
1000: canteen break
1030: continue work
1130: lunch break
1330: continue work
1500: canteen break
1530: continue work
1700: dinner break
1710: last parade
and thats it! mwahahahah =)
the work itself is pretty minimal too usually.. just loaning stuff, checking eq, maintainance etc..
the only prob now is that my unit is handling ndp (national day parade) this year, so got a LOT of work coming up..
and then shifting camp soon too! UGH. more work..
and another top secret activity that i cant say much about... =) just a lot of work..
handphones can be used all the time (silent mode during parades), and i charge my phone all over (in bunk or store usually)... =P
my company quite cool, got 4 platoons or so, but each platoon is roughly the size of a section in bmt =) (at least my store platoon and the hq platoon)..
my bunk overall is ok, but thats cos the fridge, tv and playstation makes up for the lousy cupboard, sponge matresses and lousy fans.. lucky we'r shifting soon hehehe =)
ah, takes me 45 min or more to reach an mrt station, so travelling out is a big bother.. i get 2 nights off a week (tues and thurs) but they only start next week since newcomers' first month cant take nights off, leave or off supposedly..
next week, i start a 2-week run of being duty storeman, meaning i wake up early, end late, do area cleaning for the store, stay in store during meals etc.. =(
oh well, i already have 1 day off (i think) credited cos we all worked very hard recently, and i heard our oc is going to give us another 3-5 days off for our efforts..!
ah, i like my unit a lot more than bmt!
being c9l2 is great too, during the brigade's live runs (on tues and thurs mornings), i dont need to run, warm-up is selective (i do if i want), and exercises all no need.. then cant do pushup, situp etc, ex guard duty, and a LOT of things.. as my upper-study said, everything i dont wanna do, no need to do. if they force u, just say ur back pain, then they cant do anything to u.. whee =)
[Ed:
I say you chao keng, you say I chao keng.
Actually, only Somchaya chao keng chao keng, hey!]
Bookout post:
Restored post
2 weeks down, 10 to go (with the last being a 2 day week)!
I was the Platoon I/C this week. Boy. Oh boy. Command, especially of the military sort, is just not for me - I'm too soft. My platoon mates (and even the Bruneians) commented that I often looked very mentally stressed. For some reason, the platoon was amused when I "hushed" them, and some decided to shout "hush" at various times, and mutter "hush puppies" at others. I don't really get it. They also said I'm longwinded. Also, "You're very comical as an i/c, although you don't know that" - Daniel. On the bright side, I was on MC for one day, had an off pass the next and was on guard duty one night, so I didn't have to be the i/c for that long :) Marching at the side of the platoon is cooler as you don't have hot bodies around, but you've to look out for superiors to greet.
We're starting to get into the rhythm of our course, but there's simply too much to study, in both theory and practical aspects. I missed the lesson on Bandaging of Wounds on Monday due to my MC, and wonder if I'll ever catch up. And I'm horrible with my hands, so I'm terrible at tying bandages and tourniquets.
I really do sweat a lot, and quite a few people have commented. Maybe it was the stress of being Platoon I/C this week. A sizeable number of people have been wearing just one set of Number 4 for the whole week - ugh - but I refuse to do that. Right now I think I'm going to go with 2 sets a week. Sounds disgusting, but such are our circumstances. And I hate wearing my jockey cap all the time!
I've been making do with public phones all week. As I predicted, no one bothers to march all the way down to the godforsaken one that I use (one of the 2-3 working phones there) - so far I've seen at most one other person on each day, so I've been able to chat merrily, for at least half an hour each day. Time to stock up on phonecards!
To this date, I've not actually drawn any of my slave (pittance) allowance. And prior to Tuesday night, I'd only gotten $200 from my parents since enlistment, so I've been living on hongbao money all the way :) When I casually mentioned this to my parents, I got $50 from each. Heh.
Lately, I've taken to sleeping on the floor. It's actually much cooler, though all manner of insects may crawl over you as you sleep.
On Tuesday, I went down for the PSC LMS (T) (I cannot be bothered to spell that out) scholarship interview. And I saw Kam Zhiming. Hahahaha. After the interview, I went down to RJ (yet again), in Number 4 for the first time, to get some stuff for the GP Application Question from Mrs Chan. I wonder how many people stared at me. Even though I took that little side trip, I still managed to finish everything and have lunch and booked in an hour earlier than I had to.
After I came back, we had our first IV (Intravenous Infusion). Erk. The catheter still hurts when it is embedded in the vein, so it's not just a quick "ant bite" (as injections are usually described - but what sort of ant?). For the first 3 IVs, we will be using the smaller needles (luckily). Because of the smaller needles, my response was quite muted - some strangled cries (not full voiced), no screaming and controlled writhing. I'm quite happy about my performance actually. And my buddy was very nice about it (for his trouble, I accidentally poked him in the wrist with the needle...). I just dread the larger needles, and it's terribly unfair - female trainees get to use the small needles for all their IVs.
We were finally knocked down - of all reasons, for some people making comments on how some of the permstaff were playing basketball while we were waiting for our computer lessons 2 storeys above.
A popular place to hide handphones is in your underwear - while you're wearing it. Ugh.
My brother in law gave me $10 as a taxi subisdy for my next night off! :)
Ever since I brought in my "Off!" insect repellent to spray every night, my sleep has not been interrupted by leg scratching sessions (though it has by wheezing and coughing bouts). However, some of the hardcore blood addicts still bite even if the repellent has been sprayed. Bloody buggers.
I saw and talked to my sec 4 classmate Tan Yong Chye Charles! Seems people pop up everywhere. He's learning to be a storeman in SMM. It's ironic - all the fit sportsmen get downgraded because of their injuries.
I think that the Recruits' Messes in BMTC are better furnished than the Officers, Warrant Offciers and Specialists' Mess here. Aww.
Kumar says the AJC uniform is thick, waterproof and fireproof as well. And he was surprised when I asked if the supplier was "Finest Fashion".
On Wednesday, Kumar and I were in the second shift of people guarding the MOPs and Fieldpacks in the training shed during lunch time. In the end, nobody relieved us so we spent 1 1/2 hr there while everyone else slept in the bunk.
It's really disgusting - I'd brought my singlet out to the drain to wring, and presumably as I wrung it, a giant spider crawled on. When I returned to the bunk, it crawled down my leg until I flicked it off with the singlet, whereupon it crawled under the bed. I thought I'd lost it, but later when I took my boots out to put on, it was lying motionless there. Daniel then came and stepped on it. And on the same day, our ceiling lights, for some reason, started attracting not only the usual flying insects but new guests - honeybees. Go figure. Stupid monsters.
We were supposed to have another night off on Thursday, but the whole of my bunk did not get to have it because apparently in the other bunks during area cleaning, many people were lying on the beds and complaining of chest pains. Our bunk only had 2 non-bunk cleaners present - one had just returned from the toilet, and I was cleaning up the ichor of the giant spider. Oh well. Later that day, before the night off, we saw one platoon get pumped in civvies - is that allowed?
Our latest computer lesson had a survey programmed in, with a box to collect comments. I doubt anyone reads what we might type in, though.
During Stand By Bed, some people didn't have any soap, so they split their buddy's bar into two and took one half. Too bad they got caught!
The whole of Friday was spent doing CPR. Suspiciously, all the mannikins in the CPR centre are female. The tests for CPR were rather hard, and I think quite a few people will have to come back on a future Sunday to retake the tests after failing. After CPR, I went off guard duty. No more carrying of rifles! Instead, prowlers walk around with truncheons and a searchlight (and don't need to don webbing either). Much help the truncheon will be against intruders. I had the sentry position, so I got to be blown by a powerful fan during each of my two 2 hour shifts. I got scolded for sitting down, while Frank on the previous shift got away with sleeping - flat on the ground with legs sticking out of the sentry post. Anyhow, Detail 3, the one I was in, is the worst as you get the least sleep: Before 10pm, they hold frequent turnouts to prevent you from sleeping so the only time you can sleep is after 10pm, but that is when detail 3 starts its work. So detail 3 gets a maximum of 4 hours of sleep while the other 2 details get up to 6 hours of sleep.
Someone bought a prawn cake (the fried dough fritter with a unshelled prawn stuck on top) and threw away the whole prawn, not just the shell. What a waste.
Quotes:
"Go back to bunk and tactically use your handphone."
"Why, today, all very excited? IV?"
"[On IV] Remember to put off your handphones before you start. [Trainee: Sergeant, no handphone] Don't bluff. (turn)"
"[On IV] Because of this, you want to AWOL?"
"We come here learn medic skill, not medic song (to learn, skills, not a)"
"[At 9:55am] Section 8, go for a 20 minute break. Come back at 10:45. How long is your break? [Trainees: 20 minutes]"
"[On the double decker beds] Please, those who sleep on top, don't fall off the bed"
"You know, you like unit man already. Everytime, [you want to go to the] 'bunk'. (you're like a)"
"Your POP... 24km route march, full battle order, stretcher and MOP... No lah."
"Saturday lunch is usually very nice one (nice)"
Restored post
2 weeks down, 10 to go (with the last being a 2 day week)!
I was the Platoon I/C this week. Boy. Oh boy. Command, especially of the military sort, is just not for me - I'm too soft. My platoon mates (and even the Bruneians) commented that I often looked very mentally stressed. For some reason, the platoon was amused when I "hushed" them, and some decided to shout "hush" at various times, and mutter "hush puppies" at others. I don't really get it. They also said I'm longwinded. Also, "You're very comical as an i/c, although you don't know that" - Daniel. On the bright side, I was on MC for one day, had an off pass the next and was on guard duty one night, so I didn't have to be the i/c for that long :) Marching at the side of the platoon is cooler as you don't have hot bodies around, but you've to look out for superiors to greet.
We're starting to get into the rhythm of our course, but there's simply too much to study, in both theory and practical aspects. I missed the lesson on Bandaging of Wounds on Monday due to my MC, and wonder if I'll ever catch up. And I'm horrible with my hands, so I'm terrible at tying bandages and tourniquets.
I really do sweat a lot, and quite a few people have commented. Maybe it was the stress of being Platoon I/C this week. A sizeable number of people have been wearing just one set of Number 4 for the whole week - ugh - but I refuse to do that. Right now I think I'm going to go with 2 sets a week. Sounds disgusting, but such are our circumstances. And I hate wearing my jockey cap all the time!
I've been making do with public phones all week. As I predicted, no one bothers to march all the way down to the godforsaken one that I use (one of the 2-3 working phones there) - so far I've seen at most one other person on each day, so I've been able to chat merrily, for at least half an hour each day. Time to stock up on phonecards!
To this date, I've not actually drawn any of my slave (pittance) allowance. And prior to Tuesday night, I'd only gotten $200 from my parents since enlistment, so I've been living on hongbao money all the way :) When I casually mentioned this to my parents, I got $50 from each. Heh.
Lately, I've taken to sleeping on the floor. It's actually much cooler, though all manner of insects may crawl over you as you sleep.
On Tuesday, I went down for the PSC LMS (T) (I cannot be bothered to spell that out) scholarship interview. And I saw Kam Zhiming. Hahahaha. After the interview, I went down to RJ (yet again), in Number 4 for the first time, to get some stuff for the GP Application Question from Mrs Chan. I wonder how many people stared at me. Even though I took that little side trip, I still managed to finish everything and have lunch and booked in an hour earlier than I had to.
After I came back, we had our first IV (Intravenous Infusion). Erk. The catheter still hurts when it is embedded in the vein, so it's not just a quick "ant bite" (as injections are usually described - but what sort of ant?). For the first 3 IVs, we will be using the smaller needles (luckily). Because of the smaller needles, my response was quite muted - some strangled cries (not full voiced), no screaming and controlled writhing. I'm quite happy about my performance actually. And my buddy was very nice about it (for his trouble, I accidentally poked him in the wrist with the needle...). I just dread the larger needles, and it's terribly unfair - female trainees get to use the small needles for all their IVs.
We were finally knocked down - of all reasons, for some people making comments on how some of the permstaff were playing basketball while we were waiting for our computer lessons 2 storeys above.
A popular place to hide handphones is in your underwear - while you're wearing it. Ugh.
My brother in law gave me $10 as a taxi subisdy for my next night off! :)
Ever since I brought in my "Off!" insect repellent to spray every night, my sleep has not been interrupted by leg scratching sessions (though it has by wheezing and coughing bouts). However, some of the hardcore blood addicts still bite even if the repellent has been sprayed. Bloody buggers.
I saw and talked to my sec 4 classmate Tan Yong Chye Charles! Seems people pop up everywhere. He's learning to be a storeman in SMM. It's ironic - all the fit sportsmen get downgraded because of their injuries.
I think that the Recruits' Messes in BMTC are better furnished than the Officers, Warrant Offciers and Specialists' Mess here. Aww.
Kumar says the AJC uniform is thick, waterproof and fireproof as well. And he was surprised when I asked if the supplier was "Finest Fashion".
On Wednesday, Kumar and I were in the second shift of people guarding the MOPs and Fieldpacks in the training shed during lunch time. In the end, nobody relieved us so we spent 1 1/2 hr there while everyone else slept in the bunk.
It's really disgusting - I'd brought my singlet out to the drain to wring, and presumably as I wrung it, a giant spider crawled on. When I returned to the bunk, it crawled down my leg until I flicked it off with the singlet, whereupon it crawled under the bed. I thought I'd lost it, but later when I took my boots out to put on, it was lying motionless there. Daniel then came and stepped on it. And on the same day, our ceiling lights, for some reason, started attracting not only the usual flying insects but new guests - honeybees. Go figure. Stupid monsters.
We were supposed to have another night off on Thursday, but the whole of my bunk did not get to have it because apparently in the other bunks during area cleaning, many people were lying on the beds and complaining of chest pains. Our bunk only had 2 non-bunk cleaners present - one had just returned from the toilet, and I was cleaning up the ichor of the giant spider. Oh well. Later that day, before the night off, we saw one platoon get pumped in civvies - is that allowed?
Our latest computer lesson had a survey programmed in, with a box to collect comments. I doubt anyone reads what we might type in, though.
During Stand By Bed, some people didn't have any soap, so they split their buddy's bar into two and took one half. Too bad they got caught!
The whole of Friday was spent doing CPR. Suspiciously, all the mannikins in the CPR centre are female. The tests for CPR were rather hard, and I think quite a few people will have to come back on a future Sunday to retake the tests after failing. After CPR, I went off guard duty. No more carrying of rifles! Instead, prowlers walk around with truncheons and a searchlight (and don't need to don webbing either). Much help the truncheon will be against intruders. I had the sentry position, so I got to be blown by a powerful fan during each of my two 2 hour shifts. I got scolded for sitting down, while Frank on the previous shift got away with sleeping - flat on the ground with legs sticking out of the sentry post. Anyhow, Detail 3, the one I was in, is the worst as you get the least sleep: Before 10pm, they hold frequent turnouts to prevent you from sleeping so the only time you can sleep is after 10pm, but that is when detail 3 starts its work. So detail 3 gets a maximum of 4 hours of sleep while the other 2 details get up to 6 hours of sleep.
Someone bought a prawn cake (the fried dough fritter with a unshelled prawn stuck on top) and threw away the whole prawn, not just the shell. What a waste.
Quotes:
"Go back to bunk and tactically use your handphone."
"Why, today, all very excited? IV?"
"[On IV] Remember to put off your handphones before you start. [Trainee: Sergeant, no handphone] Don't bluff. (turn)"
"[On IV] Because of this, you want to AWOL?"
"We come here learn medic skill, not medic song (to learn, skills, not a)"
"[At 9:55am] Section 8, go for a 20 minute break. Come back at 10:45. How long is your break? [Trainees: 20 minutes]"
"[On the double decker beds] Please, those who sleep on top, don't fall off the bed"
"You know, you like unit man already. Everytime, [you want to go to the] 'bunk'. (you're like a)"
"Your POP... 24km route march, full battle order, stretcher and MOP... No lah."
"Saturday lunch is usually very nice one (nice)"