Melbourne was fun. A bit short, both due to some bad planning and the evils of the SAF, but fun.

It was actually my fifth time on the continent, making it the continent I've visited the most (excluding Malaysia and Singapore from Asia). Time to go to Latin America and Africa!

It was the depth of winter, and the cold air was invigorating. Winter is always so fun. You can walk a lot and not sweat or smell much (except for your feet). And it's always nice to see the mist of your breath in front of you.

My family is in possession of many pullovers, stored in the cupboard. Most of them were bought in the 70s, some in the 80s. On inquiry, my father replied, "You tend to buy a lot of rubbish when you're young". So we have many ageing scratchy pullovers with designs that nobody would be caught dead in. I've got to get new ones before the next time I go overseas.

Supposedly, Australians are lazy. I don't know how true that is, but they are certainly more lively and bubbly than strait-laced Singaporeans. But then it's the culture.

I realise that, this trip, I took relatively fewer photos - less than 15 in fact. Unlike London, Melbourne doesn't have sights that I'd been dying to see half my life, and 19th Century (at the best) Gothic revival architecture cannot compare to Romanesque, Gothic, Baroque and Rococo (I'm not really sure about Mannerism).

On some streets, there were LCD signs indicating how many parking lots there were free in nearby buildings. Very useful.

The people in Melbourne mostly seem chubbier than over here. Hmm.

As usual, there were schoolgirls roaming around town. I think they were in "Winter Mode", though many of them surprisingly weren't in stockings. When Summer comes, they will switch to "Summer Mode", and their socks, hitherto rolled all the way up to the knees, will go down, and their hemlines, heretofore just above the knees, will go up.

Everyday, there were a lot of SIA people loitering in the lobby. I think the Grand Hyatt is their hotel of choice in Melbourne. My sister calls SIA "Sex In the Air", because supposedly when the SIA girls bend down, their Sarong Kebayas go floppy and you can see inside. I've never actually seen this, so I think she's just being prejudiced again. Though I think all SIA girls have red-painted toenails and too much makeup. Anyhow, their advertising campaigns nowadays focus less on the girl and more on the service, so.

Breakfast everyday was the same, so it was rather boring by Friday, but at least I got to try Eggs Benedict. Nice.


Tuesday

If you thought Singapore had weird fines, in Melbourne you can be fined $100 for not giving up your seat to an elderly or disabled person, and up to $500 for cheating on your tram ticket (not paying the fare, that is, since all tram fares are a flat fee).

Early in the morning, Andrew came down to bring me to his University, though he took a long time to get ready (his hair. What else?!). I got to meet 2 of the members of his quintet, whom I always hear about - Sarah and Chenyi, and I crashed a diabetes lecture, but didn't understand a thing, so I was just scribbling a line or two and examining Sarah's pencilbox to rate its "Screwed Up" Factor.

Some people are squeakier than I thought. :)

The thing about Melbourne, especially the University, is that there are SO MANY Asians, especially those of Chinese descent. It's even more than Sydney, though it's not as bad as Concord College, where Jessica Tay said 100/110 of her level was made up of Malaysian and Singaporean Chinese. Which kinda explains why they were offering scholarships, so. :)

Andrew brought me to Victoria Market, where we got sugar rushes from sharing Baklava. He then saw a picture of a rabbit above some stall and got very excited, until he realised, at the same time that I pointed it out, that it was a fresh meat stall, so that meant that they had rabbit mea... Yes.

I also got to see "Mind Games", the shop from whence the Associate got his nickname. There was "Impossipuzzle" - impossible jigsaw puzzles. The worst one was of Baked Beans. I'd have gotten one for my sister and brother-in-law, but they're past their jigsaw puzzle phase.

We then went to Mekong for lunch. It was better (and cheaper) than all the Vietnamese restaurants my Viet-crazy sister and brother-in-law go to.

The Melbourne Museum wasn't bad. "The Italians", an exhibition of 3 Centuries of Italian Art, from the 16th to the 18th, was on, and it was rather good. Above, in the Life section of the museum, there were tons of pictures of naked people of varying girths in various poses.


Wednesday

Some men were running around in shorts in 10 degree Celsius temperature, but then they were mostly deliverymen, so I suppose they could stand it. There were also some women walking around in skirts - without stockings. I wonder how *they* coped.

I knew that Australia was a pretty informal country, but I was rather surprised when I saw 2 ladies wearing, with their skirted office attire, sports shoes.

I went to the Aquarium in the morning. I think, by now, I've seen enough aquariums to last me a lifetime. Anyhow there were 2 simulator rides inside, and I realised that I'd been on one before in Sydney. At the end, I was thinking of buying a plush dolphin, seal or shark but decided it wasn't worth it.

McFlurry flavour check: 3 - Oreos, M&Ms, Crunchie. Cf London: 3 - Dairy Milk, Smarties, Crunchie ; Sydney: 4 - Oreos, M&Ms, Milo, Nerds ; Hawaii: 6/8 - Oreos, M&Ms, Butterscotch/Butterfinger (I think), Orange Dream, Some Mint Concoction... ; Singapore: 2 - Oreos, Choco-Mint. Yeah, I'm an Oreo freak.

In the afternoon I went on a half day tour to Phillip Island. For some reasons, most of the tours from the various companies didn't include a visit to the Seal Rocks Sea Life Centre, to spy the seals from afar, not at that time of the year anyway (only from October to March). But that was a moot issue, since the roof of the place had been blown off by a mini-tornado the day before my tour.

The tour guide and the bus driver were the same person - a little odd, in my limited experience, and possibly unsafe, but it worked out quite well. Actually the job is rather daunting - not only do you have to drive and guide at the same time, you've to remain chirpy and cheery in the face of a mostly unresponsive group and conduct what amounts, most of the time, to a monologue.

The Grayline bus driver claimed that, for a few years in the 90s, Melbourne came out as the best place in the world, among 100 big cities, to live. Ooo.

Quite a few Melbourners have horses. I think it would be a fine thing to have a horse. Probably expensive, though. Apparently they don't keep sheep around Melbourne because the soil gives them footrot. Maybe I should've gotten a sample to get Ex-Footwear 2 weeks.

In the suburbs, I saw a petrol station run by 7-11, and in the city a Shell Select Convenience Store without an adjoining Shell station. Encroachment!

We stopped at a farm for about 40 minutes, and there I bought one of the few things that I got this trip - a "lucky" bag. A Kangaroo scrotum. Allegedly, these were worn by Aborigines for luck. I have my doubts about the veracity of this fact (and a few about the origin of the pouch), but I bought it anyway. Screwed Up Girl actually asked me to get her something, but I didn't in case Yechao got jealous ;)

After that was the Koala Conservation Centre, we got to the highlight of the day - the Penguin Parade. Basically, at sundown, the Little Penguins (I knew they were called Little Penguins, but I didn't know they were so... little) will come in from the sea and waddle back to their burrows. Photography (even non-flash) and video recording is forbidden there. Ostensibly, this is to "respect" the penguins, but the real reason is that they want you to buy the photos that they've taken, and buy their souvenirs. They already show precious little respect for the penguins by letting visitors see them, and charging a A$14 fee too. Furthermore, they've installed floodlights and built boardwalks so visitors can see the penguins better. They've already taken tons of pictures and videos - what's a few more? If they need the money, I'm sure many would be willing to donate, but resorting to such sophistry is really rather disappointing [NB: I actually left these comments on their feedback page. I wonder what the response will be]. Incidentally, the woman at the information counter gave me a brochure in Japanese - do I look Japanese to you? Gah.

On the way back to the Hyatt (after I went to 7-11 to get a small pack of Kettle and Fanta Passionfruit), I saw a shop selling crossbows and helmets. I want! I wonder if David still has the scythe I helped him bring back from Plaak.


Thursday

My father and I walked around for a while Monday morning, but we didn't really have time to go anywhere because I was going to meet the last of Andrew's quintet for lunch.

We happened to walk to St Patrick's. Although it was Gothic Revival, it was quite impressive. Much better than "St Paul's" (hah!) anyway. 2 schoolgirls were standing around a man playing with the organ, whom I presumed was the organist, so I went to ask some questions. It was rather interesting, using (something)-pneumatic transmission (the console was located a storey below the pipes). They've also put in brass instruments, making the organ even more versatile! There are also a lot of stops - apparently it has the same stops as the one in Leipzig, so you can get the "true" Bach feeling.

"Organ
The organ has 76 speaking stops involving almost 5000 pipes, 24 spanish trumpets and a four manual console. It was installed in 1962 to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary o the episcopal consecration of Archbishop Mannix and was refurbished in 1996-7.

The Cathedral Organ

The Cathedral Organ was built by George Fincham & Sons, Melbourne in 1962-64. It was refurbished with additions by Australian Pipe Organs, Melbourne in 1996-97. Comprising 81 stops spread over four manuals and pedals, the organ incorporates a substantial part of the instrument built in the West gallery of the Cathedral in the late 1870s by Robert Mackenzie and completed in 1880 by George Fincham."

At lunch, I met the last of the quintet - Jiaming, the *other* tall RGS prefect of the Class of 2000 (Albert I met over Chinese New Year before Andrew left). She claims that Act Cute 2 is okay. Right. And Thereis our future park ranger/botanist/kelp specialist was there too. :)

For dinner my father, Andrew and I went to "Shark Fin Restaurant" (sic). They gave us the [Old] Chinese Menu, which neither I nor Andrew could decipher, so it was left to my father to decipher the hieroglyphics. I went to steal a copy of the English menu, and there were some rather substantial differences. I do wonder why they wonder to do that - do they think that the Caucasians will be freaked out by seeing Monkeys' Brains on the menu, and not patronise the place anymore?

After that we went to watch the Wizard of Oz at the Regent Theatre. Earlier, as we were buying the tickets, this man/woman gamboled in, and started singing along in an alto/tenor voice to some music that suddenly started playing over the PA system. Later, we saw him/her at the door, dressed in a "Friend of Dorothy" T-shirt.

In the male toilet of the theatre, there was a sanitary napkin and tampon dustbin. Weird.

There were some ardent fans of the musical in attendance - one girl came dressed as Dorothy, and another was carrying a wand.

The lead role of Dorothy was played by Nikki Webster, whom some might remember from the 2000 Olympics. She was singing a bit poppishly, and no wonder because she's an Australian child pop star, with her own CD on the cover of which she was sitting semi-provocatively (which was being sold for A$30 outside, the same price as the Wizard of Oz CD. Not that expensive actually).

Toto was cute. Apparently the dog is named "High Spirits". What a name for a dog.

There were some modern touches made to "update" the production, like references, witticisms and inside jokes:

Wicked Witch of the West on recognising her sister's legs: Only my sister would wear red ruby slippers with those socks

Of course, they kept all the classic lines.

Walking out after the show, we saw a violin player. As expected, and as I'd predicted before the show, he was playing "Over The Rainbow". Horribly. If he was even half as good as the violinist I heard while entering a Tube station in London, I'd have donated a dollar, but he was just terrible.

I've enjoyed most of the musicals I've watched, except that I was really irritated by the Phantom of the Opera when I watched it in Singapore, because it seemed that the Phantom had lost his voice and was just groaning huskily on, and the time I and my sister were so pissed off by "Notre Dame de Paris" in London that we walked out during the intermission (I should've known that it would be bad, since all its accolades came from radio stations).


Friday

I spent most of the morning walking - to Queen Victoria Market, around it, and back. Melbourne's City Centre is quite small, and you can really get anywhere by walking. Or you can take the free City Circle tram, but I left too early to catch it, so.

I've never had the inclination, will, aptitude or heart to bargain. However, I did indulge in a little when buying fudge for the Fudge Slut at the "Fudge Factory" - I knocked $2 off the $35 price. Actually I offered $30 at first for 14 bars of fudge, and the man accepted but later he retracted his offer, claiming that he hadn't realised how much I was asking, and I let it pass and didn't press the issue. At one point, he tried to charge me $36 - $1 more than the stated price for the fudge. Maybe he was trying to cheat me with "Fuzzy Math" like the gold trader in the video that I saw in the Gold Museum on Thursday.

I tried Solo. I'm told my friend with the sister formerly of the orange hair gets a sugar rush from it. It was nice, but I didn't see how spectacularly intoxicating it was supposed to be. In its acidity/tangy-ness, it is comparable to Fanta drinks (Maybe Australians like drinks that sting the tongue and mouth).

I saw a sign advertising a place where you could have dinner with a vampire, billed as "The ideal romantic night for strange individuals". Sounds like my sort of thing!

In a shop window I saw a Mandolin for $199. I'd have bought it, but I didn't have enough money on me, nor space in my suitcase. And I don't know of anyone in Singapore who teaches the mandolin.


Aborigines are very prominent in Australia's psyche, perhaps obsessively so. This is probably for the same reason why the Holocaust is omnipresent in Germany's, but I don't think the government is treating the Aborigines especially well, and they are still grappling with alcoholism today.


[NB: The following is especially for a certain brown, curly-haired personage] Newater is Haram! And it's touched shit too. Not that I've a problem with eating with utensils that have touched shit, provided that they've been properly cleaned, of course.