Today's word of the day isn't a word, but rather a term: "jamais vu". It's a term with especial significance these days.

The jargon of perception has many fascinating nuances. Deja vu is sub-divided into several nuances - "d�j� vecu"(already experienced), "d�j� senti"(already felt), and "d�j� visit�"(already visited). So many words, so many terms; all to capture something as intangible as an experience....

Finding a neurological basis for language might explain why my writing is so bad. If my neurones were structured to experience and interpret the world way this way, or that way, there's a fair chance I might not talk or think the way I do. Lockean reasoning meeting neurophysiology - the brain a blank slate, onto which experiences shape and warp the apparatus of interpretation and perception, which then affects the way subsequent interpretations and perceptions occur....

Gabriel, you may remember a book called: "The Man Who Lost His Language" reviewed recently in The Economist; I found a copy at a bookstore here and browsed through it. I was intriguingly disturbed by the accounts of an aphasic woman who could talk about what she heard and write about what she read, but could not write about what she heard or talk about what she read; or of a man who could not name an object in his left hand if he could not also see it. There's a similar condition in DeLillo's White Noise about a man who is unable to distinguish linguistic interpretation from experience: if you said the word "bullet", he would automatically dodge. Or lobotomy patients whose whose left hand reflexively unbuttons a shirt as the right hand is buttoning it.

"Too, too solid flesh."

I'm ruminating on all this, because I realised with some bemusement the other day that many of my personality flaws are language/expression flaws of a sort. For instance, I tend to ramble long-windedly in RL or ICQ conversation; when I write I use run-on sentences and excessive parentheses(here's one); I repeat anecdotes or reiterate concepts excessively - and so on.

What does it say about me when I make no essential distinction between literary shortcomings or cultural tastes from personal character flaws?

Gabriel - I'm not *complaining* about your long posts. I merely stated a fact - ie. that people would find them hard to read. And even if that's construed as a complaint; *so?* Do you acutally feel compelled to bend to public opinion on your own personal blog? I mean, Andrew and I are leasing rantspace from you here - with the understanding that I can say what I want - including raising a comment on the lengthiness of your posts. Or writing posts as equally long and equally hard to read(as this one promises to be). And besides, I thought this blog was more for private gratification than for public approval?

By the way, Andrew was asking me the other day about the drug culture in discotheques. We should be worried.

Anyway, that's my two ngultrum worth.

And I chose "motet" purely as a homage to your musical background, choir boy:) *currently listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons - the Brittney Spears of classical music*

BY THE WAY, THEY LIE WHEN THEY SAY $150/month INCLUDES PHOTOCOPYING AT SJI. THEY LIE! THEY LIE! I HAD TO PAY EXORBITANT SUMS FOR PHOTOCOPYING COMPUTER GAME MANUALS AT THE GODDAMNED COPY CENTRE! (Back when pirates still provided computer game manuals; eventually economic pressures and cheap CD stamping led to the current practice of providing lurid, loose-leaf jewel case covers. Ah, the good old days...)

But then again, I left before '97, so I wouldn't know. They DO have a awfully spiffy OBA membership card - this lime green cash card(with those funky smart chips) with an inspiring picture of that statue of John Baptiste de La Salle with his hand outstretched pointing the way to young students which stands proudly on the upper floor of that cupola-capped mini-bell tower in the parking lot. Cynics say that when that statue was in the old SJI building on Bras Basah, it meant "Go to RI (or CHIJ)". Based on its present location and the direction it's currently pointing a, it means.. erm...(*checking out www.streetdirectory.com.sg*)... "Go to Mt. Pleasant Animal Hospital."

We probably would have gotten better pastoral care there.

SJI seems to have a penchant for hideous statuery. Take, for instance, the bronze monstrosity of St. Joseph writhing in agony while trying to peel the infant Jesus off his shoulders. Jesus distinctly resembles Rosemary's baby trying to emulate an Alien face-hugger. There's also a new one from LaSalle School of Arts in front of the admin block that resembles.. erm... a mutant lady's finger with a Nefertiti figurehead on one end. This latter work of art is entitled: "Spirit of SJI"

Seriously though, haven't you ever found those people who speak "not only the Queen's English, but like the Queen", rather irksome? I spent 6 years in terra incognita australis being squarely on the side of the xenophobes who viewed all ABCs(or any Asian with a heavy accent) with contempt and loathing. I still can't simulate an Australian accent to save my life; preferring instead what I call "The Asian Student" accent. Most of the people I spent time with spoke primarily in this inflectionless burr; (striated with occasional lapses into Singlish or Manglish tones) - correct English, but not polished English, generally no "ahs", and actually rolling the "r"s(albeit not a burlesque "rrrr", but more like a popped "ar"), etc etc. Or maybe I just hung out with fluent but paranoid types.

Many of you will know that I talk utterly unlike I type - my Significant Other is constantly haranguing me for mispronouncing many of the more flatulent words in my vocabulary("It's 'FLA-TCHU-LENT' not 'FLA-TIU-LENT'! Say it! Say it!"). I almost curse God for an Oxford education at moments like that. That notwithstanding, I would say that I'm almost hypocritical as far as linguistic rectitude is concerned - I insist on language standards for online conversation and communication(most of the time:), but in RL *conversation* I'm quite happy to talk/rant in colloquial patois. I guess it's because I like reading more than I like listening; and have subsequently more stringent criterion for the former. Hm. Another new self-insight. Must remember to record that in my meatspace journal.

Mangoes are yellow both inside and out.

Oh, I found a Nokia phone in my office toilet yesteday. It contained a prepaid card, and switched off(so I can't wait for the owner to call), and I have no idea what to do with it. In addition; I can't *identify* its model - it's got a weird cover and I can't quite tell... it's either a 5210 or a 6510. Gak. My parents are exhorting me to take any and all means to return it to its rightful owner. I just want to figure out the PIN code and finish up the prepaid card's value on overseas calls.

Andrew; just remember that prepaid phone cards are notorious for hidden costs. Little things like off-peak hikes and adjacent-cell tarriffs abound. And you don't get itemised billing; only a cheerful computer voice telling you that "*You* have *one* hundred and *twenty*-four minutes reamining on this number."(they tend to add irritating melodic emphases for certain words) It's muy bien difficult to keep track of. You have been warned.

For Gabriel:
ISO 9001 are genearally quality standards for design, development, production, maintenance and servicing. It applies primarily to manufacturing sectors.

ISO 9002 covers all of the above except design control, but its orientation is more towards sub-contracted facilities/operations and service industries.

ISO 9003 focuses on testing and quality control.

I just had lunch at the office cafeteria, and I realised that for the last few days I've begun lapsing back into my "eat-the-same-thing-at-the-same-place" routine for lunch(curry laksa, no chicken, mee only). Have resolved to combat this by going somewhere else to eat tomorrow - why waste the corncucopia of cheap, good food freely available around me?

Over the past week, I've also begun a rudimentary fitness-enhancement programme. Thus far, it comprises of forty crunches a day - twenty in the morning, and twenty before sleep - and more swimming every weekend. All those pictures of sclerotic blood vessels on the bio websites I sometimes frequent have finally hit home - as well as the fact that I can't do pull-ups anymore. Not even one(previously I could do.. two.) While normally I've always found the pursuit of physical health abhorrent for nerd-ideological reasons, I guess a more pragmatic outlook is necessary these days since I smoke a lot more and walk a lot less.

Another impromptu observation - Gabriel likes to quote people in his entries(or, rather, their various malapropisms) whereas I like to quote from books or movies.

Was re-reading Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress today. I picked it from the rear layer of my bookshelf(upon returning Home, I bought a silver-gray Ikea bookshelf for all the volumes I lugged from Australia - that bookshelf is now full to overflowing so I've stacked the books in layers) after some minutes of dithering over what reading material to bring to work - I've finished all my latest Economist issues, and I need something to read while smoking in the stairwell or having lunch alone. Was caught by the sheer, familiar joy of re-reading a great book you haven't touched in a while - all the quotes and ideas and sentences that you loved about it the first time you read it, and now taking on a strange new resonance as you read it again under altered circumstances and altered perceptions.

"A lost cause can be as spiritually satisfying as a victory."

"(I) believe that concepts such as 'state' and 'society' and 'government' have no existence save as physically exemplified in the acts of self-responsible individuals.. It is impossible to shift blame, share blame, distribute blame.. as blame, guilt, resposibility are matters taking place inside human beings singly and nowhere else. In terms of morals, there is no such thing as 'state'. Just men. Individuals. Each responsible for his own acts. In that case, there is no circumstance in which the "State" is justified in putting its welfare ahead of mine."

"But, being rational, I am well aware that not all individuals hold to my evaluations, so I try to live perfectly in an imperfect world... aware that my efforts are less than perfect yet undismayed by self-knowledge of self-failure."

And onto the line that summarises all the reasons why I support the existing totalitarian regime in Singapore:

"I will accept any rules that you feel are necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

Enlightened self-interest is so much more pleasing a political motivation than hypocritical sentiments about freedom and human rights. But I shall spare you all further excoriation from my soapbox.

Have finished watching Lilo and Stich & Insomnia. The former is one of the better, quirkier Disney films of late - an Elvis sound-track, a return to water-colour backgrounds(the House of Mouse hasn't produced one since the '40s) and a surprisingly good alien-race-federation sub-thread(a better cartoon sci-fi world in 20 or so minutes than A.E. Titan produces for its whole length). That, plus Ving Rhames voicing a character called Cobra Bubbles.

As for Insomnia.. well.. it's worth watching to see Patch Adams beat the shit out of Michael Corleone:).

That leaves my current to watch list standing at Reign of Fire, Six-Minute Photo(another disturbing Robin Williams film - he seems to be trying to move away from either "inspiring role model" or "zany-voiced moron", with mixed results), Road to Perdition. The Two Towers trailer was good, but I'll have to wait, and no word on when the Hey Arnold! movie is coming here.

Currently dry of interesting anecdotes about work or working environment to regale - other than amusement at the way everyone periodically clusters around the Bloomberg terminal to get stock quotes or breathlessly watch index movements. Oh, that, and the observation that 99% of the time, when the lift is crowded, the best looking woman gets out at the 19th floor. On that floor is housed a law firm with the improbable name of Shook, Bok and Lin. I guess corporate law practices need well-heeled, stunning professional women in order to function at their best.

On another note, I'm really short of money now - and my credit cards are almost maxed out. What disturbs me is that going through my credit card bills and receipts shows spending for the most picayune of things - like blank CDs, a new keyboard, and full wax-and-vacuum car washing. On top of that, a friend of mine from Singapore is dropping in this weekend, which obliges more capital expenditure when I can least afford it. Damn.

My bookshelf space shortage mentioned earlier is reaching a critical stage. I've purchased about 40 or so books since I came back home, and now there's barely any space for all of them(and two full boxes are still sitting cheerfully next to my armoire, with one more massive one due to be shipped from Australia in September). This is all further inducement to move out - I can't stand the thought that not *all* my books are on display or at least stacked in piles for easy reach-and-browse. My parents refuse to let me stack the excess volumes next to my bed - they claim it detracts from the overall household aesthetic. Not that we (a) get any visitors or (b) are going to be on Better Homes & Living with our pseudo-fusion amalgam of Ansel Adams prints and Italian black leather furniture crazily juxtaposed with Buddhist altars, ink-brush paintings of Guilin, and mahogany Chinese chairs(the kind your grandfather sits on during CNY and you kneel in front of in filial piety before receiving a pat on your head and an ang pao)

So much for my plan to build up capital over the next few years before venturing into investment opportunities. The guy sitting next to me at work, in contrast, doesn't even own a handphone, ploughs his salary into an investment account, and relentlessly spends hours working on his futures trading model in Excel. He's been running a small mutual fund for his family for several years now, and the self-composed annual reports show pretty good returns.

Favourite comic strips:

1. Peanuts. If you can, get hold of the strips from the 60s - they have an almost heart-breaking poignance. Or the animated specials - which make the best possible use of a jazz soundtrack in a cartoon. I don't mind admitting I was far more affected by George Schultz's passing than S-11 or Dianadeath.
2. Dilbert. My life, particularly after batting a report back and forth with my department head *eight* times for amendments.
3. Far Side. Never has so much humour been conveyed in so little content; in addition, the two Far Side animated specials are some of the most disturbing brilliance in animation.
4. Calvin & Hobbes. I once had a looong argument about whether Hobbes was really sentient or a product of imagination.
5. B.C. Cavemen with an attitude.
6. Shoe - (http://www.macnelly.com) - a far better American satire than the top-heavy Doonesbury.

And I have finally completed the first chapter of Neverwinter Nights. I'm intensely irritated that I only have three or so hours a day to devote towards playing this superlative RPG, but, hey - part of living perfectly in an imperfect world. This unfortunately translates into only about 5 hours of sleep a day followed by the hazardous drive to work through busy city streets each morning while still somnambulant.