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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated." - Margaret Halsey

***

Transcribed (or otherwise gotten) by HWMNBN:


"There came to me an angel, and his essence was fire.
His garments were of spun gold, and his eyes were blazing scarlet.
His sword shone with holy flame, too bright to look upon,
And by that sign I knew him for Michael, dread minion of my father's God.

I knew that he meant me to kneel before him.
So I did not.
I knew that he meant me to fear him.
So I did not.
I knew that he meant me to be humbled.
So I was not.

He said unto me,
"Caine, first-born of Adam,
I bring to you the word of the Lord:
Repent of your crime and you will be forgiven.
Turn with humility towards your God
And He will cleanse you of all sin.
For He is a God of mercy,
who forgives the outcast
And makes a place for him among the blessed."

I felt pride well up inside me at his words, and I answered,
"I gave Him my heart's own worship,
And He deemed it unworthy.
I offered Him the fruit of all my labours,
And He deemed it too little,
And when I offered Him blood, as He had taught me to do
He cast me out.

Of what should I repent?" I demanded.
"For what beg forgiveness?
For what prize should I fall to my knees,
And worship again that God whose face was turned from me
when I loved Him most?"

Then the angel grew angry
His eyes blazed with scarlet fire
And the flames of his sword scorched my clothes and my flesh.
"Creature of pride, " he pronounced,
"be thou damned, then.
Not by my will, but by thy own words.

My fire shall be an enemy to you,
that you and your children shall fear
until the end of time.
Not all the magic that you have learned can tame it.
Not all the power that you have gained can withstand it.

Such is the curse I set upon you.
Until the day your spirit is humbled.
Such is the cost of your defiance."

I said, "So be it." And still I did not kneel.
The angel left me then, and I was alone.

Then came another angel, riding the winds of morning.
Behind him all the hues of heaven
spread out across the horizon,
And the demons of night fled at the sight of him.
I knew him for Uriel, shepherd of the sun,
And I stood my ground proudly
As he came to earth before me.

"Caine", he said, "first-born of Adam.
Your brother's soul cries out for your redemption,
And God has heard his pleas.
Say only that you would leave this land
And return to your father's embrace
And it will be done."

"Once again," I said, "my brother speaks to God,
Once again his words are favoured over mine.
I do not ask for his pity, nor for yours.
I will make my own fate in lands east of Nod.

And establish my kingdom in exile.
I will set my children on golden thrones
And we will rule over Seth's brood together.
For surely it is better to rule in the darkness
Than to humble myself falsely in the light."

The angel's face grew white with fury.
And the light of dawn behind him becamse a sea of blazing poison unto me
"Wretched creature! Damned for your pride,
Now doubly damned for your defiance.
The light of the sun shall be your enemy
Searing your soul when you gaze upon it, burning your flesh to ash.
Those of your blood who would rule the earth
Shall cower in the dust by day, fearing the light,
And the sons of Seth who seek after power
Will hunt them down as they sleep even as the dead sleep
Unable to defend themselves or beg for mercy from those who hunt them
Thus shall your kingdom be, your prideful empire.
Its throne made of fear, its crown cast in shadows."

I could not answer him, for
the sun rose then
I meant to stand my ground before it
But its rays were as venom upon my skin
And within my veins, that
blood which ran so cold with anger and pride
Began to boil, molten as the sun's own fire.
I fled the light, to the nearest place of safety.
Which was the earth itself, cool beneath my feet
And in that place, sheltered
in the darkness of the world below
I cursed the name of the
one who had driven me there,
And of his eternal Master.

And when the day had passed, and
night fell once more
I arose from my resting place to see a third angel awaited me.
His eyes were jet, twin mirrors of the night
His wings were shadow, that beat
about his form like wild winds
And I knew him for an angel of divine wrath.
Dread Gabriel, by whose hand Sodom was destroyed.

"Caine", he said, "in you the seed
of Adam is doubly shamed,
And all the laws of life defiled.
Yet even such a soul as yours may
yet be saved
By true repentance.
Forswear your sins and return to
His fold,
And all will be as new again, all sins forgiven,
all wrongs undone.
The Lord grants you this, your
third and final path to forgiveness.

To him I said simply,
"I am what God has made me."
And still I would not kneel.

The black wings beat with fury
And the voice of the angel echoed with rage.
So fearsome was his dread display
That the very night itself did seem to tremble.
"Then be thou cursed forever,
and set apart from all living things.
Neither living nor dead yourself,
neither human nor beast.
You shall walk the earth in darkness,
and all your children with you.
Unchanging, undying and ever without hope.
Blood shall be your only food,
and all your dreams shall be ash.
Life, and love shall wither at your touch,
and hunger shall devour mercy.

And those you treasure most of all,
the offspring at your pride,
Shall war amongst themselves
according to their blood:
Brother against brother,
young against old,
weak against strong.
Until the best are vanquished
and the ranks of your family laid waste.
Then you will walk amongst them
as judge and know
the ultimate torment.
Which is for a father to condmen his own children.
So has God done with you, this night.
So shall you do with your own,
untli the end of time."

He left me alone in the darkness then,
To suffer the pain of my changing.
The blood-hunger rose in me like a flood tide.
The beast began to gnaw at my soul.
Still I would not kneel."

[Addendum (the last part of the fragments):

Then there came a fourth angel,
with wings as pale as moonlight
His face was a thing of alabaster beauty,
And his voice was finer than the
finest music.
I knew him for Raphael, patron of all healing.
And I stood my ground before him.
Even as I trembled to hear what his
curse would be.
"Behold," he said, "the Lord is merciful.
Even to the undeserving.
I give you a path to seek peace for
your soul
Even in this bitter darkness.
I give you the light of hope, for
you and your children,
To await the day when anger fades
and pride gives way to yearning.
The name of this path is Golconda.

And those who seek it with a true
heart may yet gain salvation,
Though they walk in the night as
demons
And bear the curses of a thousand
angels."
He left me then, without hearing
my reply.

And again I was alone.
When he was gone, I knelt in
the darkness.
And I wept.]

--- The Erciyes Fragments, "Temptations"
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