You can hear us push
Through the deepest bush
With a military air!
Monday, July 06, 2009
"People can have the Model T in any colour--so long as it's black." - Henry Ford
***
Top Google Suggestions for searching "can you":
1. can you run it 2. can you get pregnant on your period 3. can you feel the love tonight lyrics 4. can you get pregnant right after your period 5. can you be pregnant and still have a period 6. can you duet 7. can you get pregnant right before your period 8. can you have your period and still be prengnant 9. can you get mono twice 10. can you freeze cheeze
Notice that half the suggestions have to do with periods and pregnancies, or rather the possibility of these two coinciding.
"Infectious mononucleosis (also known as EBV infectious mononucleosis or Pfeiffer's disease and colloquially as kissing disease - from its oral distribution - or as mono in North America and as glandular fever in other English-speaking countries) is an infectious, very widespread viral disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus, which well over 90% of all adults are exposed to at some point in their life."
In other words, 7 out of the top 10 results are about, or related to, sex (we all know that 'love' is a euphemism for sex).
(Hat tip to MFTTW)
Sunday, July 05, 2009
"Mustard's no good without roast beef." - Chico Marx
***
Fancy Fast Food - "BK Quiche (Fancy Croissan’wich & Biscuit) Ingredients (for two mini quiches): * 1 Burger King Croissan’wich (with ham) meal, with hash browns and a coffee * 1 Burger King Ham, Egg & Cheese biscuit meal, with hash browns and an orange juice * 1 bottle of water"
US analyst shows class divisions between Facebook, MySpace users - "Danah Boyd, who works with Microsoft Research New England, reckons that most Facebook users are white and wealthy, while MySpace users are uneducated and obnoxious... “We might as well face an uncomfortable reality … what happened was modern day ‘white flight’,” she added. According to Boyd, MySpace has become a digital “ghetto”. “The people there are more likely to be brown or black and to have a set of values that terrifies white society,” she said."
Retro Comedy: The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time - "One most effective way to safegyard her dainty feminine allure is by practicing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches with a scientifically correct prepartion... You, too, can rely on "Lysol" to help protect your married happiness... keep you desirable!"
Think Again: Asia's Rise - "It is meaningless to talk about Asia as a single entity of power, now or in the future. Far more likely is that the fast ascent of one regional player will be greeted with alarm by its closest neighbors. Asian history is replete with examples of competition for power and even military conflict among its big players... Already, China's recent rise has pushed Japan and India closer together... Pax Americana was made possible not only by the overwhelming economic and military might of the United States but also by a set of visionary ideas: free trade, Wilsonian liberalism, and multilateral institutions. Although Asia today may have the world's most dynamic economies, it does not seem to play an equally inspiring role as a thought leader... A much-cited 2005 McKinsey Global Institute study reports that human resource managers in multinational companies consider only 10 percent of Chinese engineers and 25 percent of Indian engineers as even "employable," compared with 81 percent of American engineers... when you look at autocracies credited with economic success, you find two interesting facts. First, their economic performance improved when they became less brutal and allowed greater personal and economic freedoms"
The Voting Rights Act: Sacred, or outdated - "Abigail Thernstrom, the author of “Voting Rights—and Wrongs”... argues, counterintuitively, that racial gerrymandering reduces black political influence. Majority-black districts tend to elect politicians who appeal to black solidarity but do not need to woo whites. Moderates do less well: Mr Obama was thrashed by 30 percentage points when he ran for Congress in a majority-black district. The net effect of cramming blacks into racially homogenous districts is that the congressional black caucus, with some exceptions, clusters at the fringe of American politics, rather than at the centre, where decisions are made. Segregated voting districts thus impede political integration, says Ms Thernstrom."
Elephants Drunk in the Wild? Scientists Put the Myth to Rest - "Almost anyone who has read a travel brochure about Africa has heard of elephants getting drunk from the fruit of the marula tree. The lore holds that elephants can get drunk by eating the fermented fruit rotting on the ground... But there is nothing in the biology of either the African elephant or the marula fruit to support the stories, he asserts. "People just want to believe in drunken elephants," Morris said... it would take about a half gallon (1.9 liters) of ethanol to make an elephant tipsy... an elephant would have to ingest more than 1,400 well-fermented fruits to start to get drunk."
Man beaten after teens misinterpret woman's sex screams - "A group of teenagers misunderstood a woman's screams during sex and, thinking they were stopping an assault, beat a 25-year-old man in her bedroom" I love power relations!
Game leaves nothing to chance for cute extremists - "If any child picks up a card which says Kafir! ("Heathen!") they immediately lose their faith and go straight to hell, without having to die first. The last player in the game wins, so the heathen cards encourage children to pray that friends and family members go to hell soon... the next card one of the kids picks up has a picture of a boy and girl sitting shyly next to each other on a bench with pink love hearts hovering over them. This looks like a positive card, but it isn't - oh no-no-no-no-no. The game makers reckon pecaran ("courting") is an extremely grave sin. At minus 500 points per occasion, this card teaches children that experiencing two momentary crushes is equivalent to committing one murder. But keep going and they may get a menikah card, which means "marriage." This card also shows a boy and girl sitting next to each other on a bench, but without any love hearts. This teaches children that it is crucial that they do not love the person they marry."
"The bitterest tragic element in life to be derived from an intellectual source is the belief in a brute Fate or Destiny." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
***
Pictures from February:
"Authentic Malacca Wan Ton Mee. (Singapore Branch) Malacca - Opposite Ong Ya Kong Temple Banda Hilir"
Notice that this comes in two options: Without Chili and With Chili. So no, despite what Malaysians' carping may lead one to assume, Wan Ton Mee without Chili is acceptable.
Also, this was quite lacklustre, raising one or more of the following possibilities:
1) As a franchisee, the standard was below its home stall's 2) The ranting about good Malaysian food by Malaysians and Singaporeans alike is misleading 3) The home stall also sucks 4) This is authentic but not good
From Bumbu Restaurant:
"Please Stop At Two!" The guy (R. Tan) designed the sign himself (he wasn't paid, unfortunately) when he was at the Ministry of Health (in the 60s IIRC 1960 or 1970)
Lemongrass Chicken Head (!)
Arabic spoils the look of this prosperous mirror. Addendum: The restaurant also had no Chinese gods (though it had other Chinese decorative arts) so it could remain Halal.
From the National Geographic Store at Vivocity:
"Tahitians are amphibious and live in the water as much as possible."
A ridiculously expensive table. It costs S$42,200. Presumably because it is "unique".
"Controlled freezing chamber... Simulate the freezing conditions you may encounter on your trip or expedition. Temperatures inside the chamber reach 15 degrees Celsius" I blame Americans' inability to convert to the Metric scale properly. No wonder the Mars Probe crashed.
"Photography is not recommended as we would like to respect the photographers' original works" I love that they respected their visitors.
"Ben and Jerry's 3 Piece Melamine Set For Kids" I'm guessing they designed this before Melamine became a dirty word.
In my series of bust enhancement ads, BustStations: "International Japanese Model" I love how they didn't even name her (in subsequent ads they did) I also love how the fine print is printed in such a way as to be invisible Incidentally I tired to win the vouchers for a friend, but they refused to give them to me and wanted her contact. I kind of expected it, but it was STILL scummy.
"C.M.I. Maritime Pte Ltd"
"Chicken Lever"
"Chicken Shawarma... contains a good deal of mineral called selenium that is... known to help infertile men improve the motility of sperm cells!... must-have for health conscious... Comes with fries"
Chinese Figurines at Ah Chew Desserts which display Asian Values (one's naked and one's in underwear)
"Due to economy crisis, CAKE HISTORY is giving a special offer to our value customer. Each bread is selling at $1 only!" It sounds better in Chinese
"Ve-Tsin Gourmet Powder". It has salt and MSG (Ajinomoto being branded as 'Umami Seasoning' is still not as bad)
"Hair Extension. 100% Human Hair" Do people get hair extensions with artificial hair?
They levy GST on top of the prices - for takeout!
""We weigh your ice cream to ensure they're your healtier choice....."" Nice way Uzumaki justifies being kiam siap. Notice that their definition of a double scoop is actually 1.5 times a single scoop. [Addendum: TMM suggests their cone is 45g and each scoop 45g, but that's a very heavy cone]
"To whom it may concern Milk Powder NOT from China This is to certify that we do not use any milk powder from China to manufacture any of our products" For once, Krimer comes in useful. I love how Malaysia Dairy Industries makes Non-Dairy Creamer. Malaysia Boleh!
Notice how Ma Maison only has endorsements from Japanese magazines. Its status as "the finest Continental cuisine restaurant in Singapore" is thus doubtful.
Mannikins with "real" and textured hair
"[Pig:] To know me is to love me"
Proud Vermonster Team - with 3 girls and only 1 guy! I'm impressed.
Girls playing dumb kiddy game at Vivocity. Some things don't change with age
"All Ranovation & Repair"
Spider on Path
"Nature's answer to hydrated skin" Besides the suggestion that this dehydrates you, it makes you wonder: if it's 99.9% water, why not just use water?
"WARNING. You are committing an offence if you employ foreign workers without valid work passes. PENALTY. Jail term" Not the most reassuring thing to see on your lunch table
"An Nisaa' Muslimah Salon. Strictly for ladies only. Man not allowed" Sexual discrimination!
"Toastbox: Hainanese Curry Chicken. Just one mouthful of the tender chicken with rich Hainanese curry certainly gave us a taste of the early Southeast Asian immigrants!" This puts a whole new spin on "Tastes like chicken"...
"We're now hiring foreigners!"
Cookie & Monkey (Kids' rides): Your children will be baffled by the conditions
Saturday, July 04, 2009
"Yes; but before Achilles' anger had come the hubris of Agamemnon, King of Men. It is grief to see a hero go down to the house of Hades. It is bitter to lose a friend to evil, before one loses him to death."
--- The praise singer / Mary Renault
Friday, July 03, 2009
"Proponents of totalitarianism theory seem to fail to realise that to discuss anything more or other than repression and brutality, opposition and the fight for freedom, is not in some way to pretend that those aspects were not important. Of course they were central. But they do not tell the whole story; and in leaving out the rest, such an approach ultimately distorts rather than clarifies the picture."
--- The people's state: East German society from Hitler to Honecker / Mary Fulbrook
"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." - David Sedaris
I don't mean the widely-circulated '1-in-4 women will be raped in their lifetime' but a statistic that suggests '1-in-4 accusations of rape are false.'
For a long time, I have been bothered by the elusiveness of figures on the prevalence of false accusations of sexual assault. The crime of 'bearing false witness' is rarely tracked or punished, and the context in which it is usually raised is highly politicized...
This week I stumbled over a passage in a 1996 study published by the U.S. Department of Justice: Convicted by Juries, Exonerated by Science: Case Studies in the Use of DNA Evidence to Establish Innocence After Trial...
The passage that riveted my attention was a quote from Peter Neufeld and Barry C. Scheck, prominent criminal attorneys and co-founders of the Innocence Project that seeks to release those falsely imprisoned.
They stated, "Every year since 1989, in about 25 percent of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI where results could be obtained, the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing. Specifically, FBI officials report that out of roughly 10,000 sexual assault cases since 1989, about 2,000 tests have been inconclusive, about 2,000 tests have excluded the primary suspect, and about 6,000 have "matched" or included the primary suspect."
The authors continued, "these percentages have remained constant for 7 years, and the National Institute of Justice's informal survey of private laboratories reveals a strikingly similar 26 percent exclusion rate."
If the foregoing results can be extrapolated, then the rate of false reports is roughly between 20 (if DNA excludes an accused) to 40 percent (if inconclusive DNA is added). The relatively low estimate of 25 to 26 percent is probably accurate, especially since it is supported by other sources...
Legal scholar Michelle Anderson of Villanova University Law School reported in 2004, "no study has ever been published which sets forth an evidentiary basis for the two percent false rape complaint thesis [that feminists always bandy around, which is the same as the false accusation rate for other crimes]"...
"Forty-one percent of all reports are false."
This claim comes from a study conducted by Eugene J. Kanin of Purdue University...
Although Kanin offers solid research, I would need to see more studies with different populations before accepting the figure of 50 percent as prevalent; to me, the figure seems high.
But even a skeptic like me must credit a DNA exclusion rate of 20 percent that remained constant over several years when conducted by FBI labs. This is especially true when 20 percent more were found to be questionable.
False accusations are not rare. They are common."
Of course, if you include types of sex crimes other than rape, the rate of false accusations is likely to increase.
"A little less than 20% of sexual-assault cases reported in and around Delhi are false, shows a five-year study. In almost every fifth incident, or, in 18.3 % cases to be precise, rape is used as a weapon to malign and attempt revenge, found a group of psychologists who assist Delhi Police in investigating sexual assault allegations."
"On Jan. 6, the California Supreme Court ruled 6-1 that if a woman rescinds consent during the sex act, the man is guilty of rape if he does not stop immediately.
It also ruled that statements such as "I should go home" constitute an unambiguous "no" on the woman's part. The definition of rape has evolved again.
What are the facts of the case? Seventeen-year-old Laura T. attended an otherwise all-male party at which she did not drink. After allowing two teenaged boys to undress and fondle her in a bedroom -- acts she admitted enjoying -- she had sex with each. Laura did not say the word "no" nor did she resist. Instead, she said, "I have to go home."
Because John Z. continued for approximately four minutes after she first expressed what might have been reluctance, he was convicted of rape...
The sole dissenting voice, Justice Janice Rogers Brown, found that none of Laura's statements were "unequivocal." Her requests to go home could have been interpreted as a need for reassurance or a request for greater speed...
As for the timing issue ... the court relied heavily upon John Z.'s failure to desist immediately. But, as Brown observed, the decision "does not tell us how soon would have been soon enough. Ten seconds? Thirty? A minute? Is persistence the same thing as force?"...
As the former mainstream feminist professor Erin O'Connor notes in her blog, "this ruling neatly dispenses with the idea that rape necessarily involves force, and replaces it with a definition of consent that is as uncertain and shifting as the woman who wields it.""
[Ed:
Erin O'Connor: "One imagines that prudent men will now not only carry condoms in their wallets, but consent forms and stopwatches."]
"Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there." - E. H. Gombrich
***
Me on the comment "I can't read Agagooga. Too much dependence on stereotypes and inane, useless postering.": I can't find out what 'postering' is leh
I assume she means 'posturing'
MFTTW: oh yah lah that i know
i mean, i assumed "posturing" too
Me: orh
MFTTW: her livejournal is inane too leh i just don't have LJ acct so i couldn't comment :P
"your LJ also v inane lehhhhh" hahah because i'm infantile of course
Me: eh how you kno it's from that thread HAHA
I have lots of detractors leh
MFTTW: aiyah you're not famous until you're unpopular :P
look at xiaxue everyone says she sucks but still got so many readers
your arguments are too subtle lah and no one appreciates the ridiculous analogies hurr hurr
and alos you like ot poke fun at women, who are the most... sensitive :P
Me: eh at least half the time the ridiculous analogies are meant to be serious
MFTTW: but which half the time is not immediately obvious
you have to realize that most singaporeans fail GP and cannot construct an argument to save their lives if it doesn't fall along hte lines of "x is bad because of 1, 2 and 3"
TMM on showing that race exists: I guess the Jews must be doing something very wrong in order for them to be more predisposed to Tay Sachs :(
Me: I've argued this point before with someone else who threw some rubbish at me
TMM: its like playing L4D the zombies just keep coming
Frigid Girl: 愁
Me: 仇
MFTTW: My peers are...bond-free. *depressed*
MFM: Your bond isn't that expensive compared to some of your other peers...
Me: I've never had a bond
MFM: You were sensible.
Me: you wouldn't have taken up the scholarship if you could've done it again?
MFM: I would have applied to LACs [Ed: Liberal Arts Colleges] for fin. aid
Me: my friend went to duke on a duke scholarship and he thinks you need to be very good to get those and that financial aid is damn hard
MFM: for the famous Us is difficult
not for LACs cos s'poreans don't know about those and are reluctant to apply even if they do cos of lack of 'prestige'
Me: I told him you can apply to less famous places but he didn't agree *shrug*
MFM: *** has fin aid from US News' 'top' LAC
and *** that retard had full aid from carleton
another friend of mine also had full aid from carleton he just transferred to dartmouth again with full aid
Me: why do LACs offer so much financial aid?
MFM: it's not that LACs offer a lot more aid it's just that they have a less competitive applicant pool
Me: ah how good do you think you have to be to get aid from LACs?
MFM: *** has v good results and reasonable CCA record but my other friends who had aid were mediocre students in their respective JCs
the carleton/dartmouth friend was one of the weakest students in *** humanz. yes, it's humanz but there were plenty of students more impressive than him who didn't bother applying
[Singaporeans] seem little impervious - besides *** only one other kid has taken my advice
concrete figures showing the utter lack of awareness - *** looked up the records of RJC applicants in the past and told me only 4 people from RJC had ever applied to amherst (and none of them had got in before this year)
Me on her injured knee: how did you injure it ah kneeing someone in the groin?
Frigid Girl: no, i sat on my chair and spun around and it hit my desk haahahha
Me: ................................
Someone: i'm not closed to divorce/ annulment (can resort to grounds of non-consummation of marriage)
Me: non-consummation can annul meh HAHAHAHAH
Someone: yeah u can get ur marriage annulled within 1st 3 years i think
Me: :0 the feminists will complain hahahahaha
Someone: i don't really care, i'm not lesbian
but u know, it's wonderful, this annulment business u can actually tick "single" instead of "divorced" u know, for application forms and stuff
hehe love it
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer
***
Red Army troops raped even Russian women as they freed them from camps - "THE Red Army's orgy of rape in the dying days of Nazi Germany was conducted on a much greater scale than previously suspected... "Having always in the past slightly pooh-poohed the idea that most men are potential rapists, I had to come to the conclusion that if there is a lack of army discipline, most men with a weapon, dehumanised by living through two or three years of war, do become potential rapists"... he was "shaken to the core" to discover that Russian and Polish women and girls liberated from concentration camps were also violated. "That completely undermined the notion that the soldiers were using rape as a form of revenge against the Germans," he said... When the Yugoslav Communist Milovan Djilas protested to Stalin, the dictator exploded: "Can't he understand it if a soldier who has crossed thousands of kilometres through blood and fire and death has fun with a woman or takes some trifle?"... The victims themselves were permanently traumatised: women of the wartime generation still refer to the Red Army war memorial in Berlin as "the Tomb of the Unknown Rapist"."
I Want to Believe - "Most people (scientists included) treat the God question separate from all these other claims. They are right to do so as long as the particular claim in question cannot — even in principle — be examined by science. But what might that include? Most religious claims are testable, such as prayer positively influencing healing. In this case, controlled experiments to date show no difference between prayed-for and not-prayed-for patients. And beyond such controlled research, why does God only seem to heal illnesses that often go away on their own? What would compel me to believe would be something unequivocal, such as if an amputee grew a new limb. Amphibians can do it. Surely an omnipotent deity could do it. Many Iraqi War vets eagerly await divine action. There is one mystery I will concede that science may not be able to answer, and that is the question of what existed before our universe began... If there is one thing that the history of science has taught us, it is that it is arrogant to think we now know enough to know that we cannot know. So for the time being, it comes down to cognitive or emotional preference: an answer with only negative evidence or no answer at all"
Ant mega-colony takes over world - "Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same interrelated colony, and will refuse to fight one another. The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination. What's more, people are unwittingly helping the mega-colony stick together."
Starcraft lessons from authentic Korean (richmond / seacliff) - "I'm 100% full blooded Korean, meaning I have been gifted with unparallel talent to master any video game, particularly, Starcraft: Brood War... Things I will be teaching in Starcraft: Learn Korean lango, like "chobo" "gosu" "ww" etc, Basic Korean to communicate with Koreans on battle.net... My lessons will result in: Bragging rights, that you're as good as a Korean in Starcraft, You will be called a hacker because you're so good., Korean girls will be intrigued that you're such a good Starcraft player."
Singapore Dissident: Emigrate to America - "As a follow up to my last post, a retort to Goh Chock Tong's lament on the exodus of the talented out of Singapore, as an California lawyer specializing in immigration, these are the avenues for those wanting to move to USA... When you go abroad with your family and children, support and help the Singapore political opposition in any way you can from where you are. Do your part to topple this dictatorial one party state for a new beginning for Singapore. Please remember that by leaving, you are helping to bring down this dictatorship in a big way."
iPhone Apps - Amazing Girlfriend Manager - "With this application you can improve your relationships by applying concepts of CRM (Customer Relationship Management) on your girlfriends. Think about your girlfriend as a client!... Features of this application: Allows you to manage multiple girlfriends at the same time (not recommended for moral reasons)... Benefits that this application can bring to you: Be selective. Through the analysis of ratings and cost of dates and gifts, you can keep only the girls with the best cost-benefit"
From today's Shitty Times:
Confusion over proper attire mars AYG event
"CONFUSION over proper attire overshadowed the Asian Youth Games (AYG) Fiba 33 basketball competition for the second day running when a player donning a hijab (headscarf) was told she could not play.
Kuwait had again to compete in the 3-on-3 event without captain and top player Rabab Abdullah...
Her coach, Mr Yousef, said that women have been allowed to play in the hijab and cited the Gulf Cooperation Council Women's Games and the Arab Women's Basketball Championship as examples."
This might've been cropped from a bigger picture, but if it's a studio shot, he really needs to tell them to ease up on the front lighting, or they might as well give him a halo to complete the effect.
I'm not sure what was more amusing - this picture or the attack of temporal lobe epilepsy.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day." - John A. Wheeler
***
Email FAIL:
Subject: Note to Class of 1999 Batch Reunion - 4 Jul 09 (Sat) at 7:30pm at the Albert Hong Hall
Message: Some of you may have read in the news about the two new H1N1 cases at the RI Boarding House. I would like to assure you that these cases have not affected the preparations for our Batch Reunion and with the school’s support and blessing, we will be going ahead with the reunion as planned this Saturday...
Should you feel unwell on the day of the Batch Reunion, I would urge you to consider giving the event a miss as a precaution to assist us in minimising the spread of any illnesses. In particular, if you have travelled to the list of countries listed in the table below, I would encourage you to consider not attending the event as well...
[Transcription of image:
MOH Website: Countries / Regions with Community Spread and / or known to have Exported Cases (Caa 30 Jun 09)...
Singapore]
"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
***
"Come, dear, you're not so wicked as you think. Thc worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that’s the essence of inhumanity. After all, my dear, if you watch people carefully, you'll be surprised to learn how like hate is to love.
Yes: I’m quite in earnest. Think of how some of our married friends worry one another, tax one another, are jealous of one another, can t bear to let one another out of sight for a day, arc more like jailers and slave-owners than lovers. Think of those very same people with their enemies, scrupulous, lofty, self-respecting, determined to be independent of one another, careful of how they speak of one another—pooh! haven’t you often thought that if they only knew it, they were better friends to their enemies than to their own husbands and wives?"
I like to think of myself as a Renaissance Man, who champions the values of the Enlightenment and aspires to the Cardinal Virtues of Prudence, Temperance, Justice and Fortitude.
I am also a student of the Misery of the Human Condition.
