I seem to be building up a reputation for moronically getting my laptop infected with spyware within 24 hours of getting it back:

1st time (after clearing my ports): Vincent's funny search scam site
2nd time (after changing the wireless hardware): Running "activate_crack.exe" from an astalavista.box.sk site
3rd time (after it mysteriously FUBAR-ed after installing updates from M$): Stupidly visiting a site linked from astalavista.box.sk on with Windows XP SP1 IE

I love the irony of anti-spyware programs which are actually spyware themselves, and just install more spyware on your computer, meanwhile unsubtly hinting to you that you should run them (which will probably just worsen the situation).

Bastards. And they know how to crash Spybot Search & Destroy too; no matter, I know how to run Windows in Safe mode.

For my stupidity, I should flagellate myself as I perform my ablutions tonight. Alternatively, I could buy a snake's gall bladder to lick every night as I lie in my bed like the Chinese idiot. Now to go find one.

[Ed: Trolling by Mac whores in the comments section of this thread is most unwelcome, and might lead to unforseen consequences.]